Day 9 completed (29 in my current streak). I haven't been very productive this month and its haunting me. My lows make me numb, make me freeze and break down. During the past month I tried to cope by talking to my friends or doing other healthy activities and stayed clean. But I lost more than 5 hrs everyday in effort to escape my lows. I have barely begun studying what I planned to study this month and suddenly I realized 17 days are gone! I had no idea when or how this happened. yesterday I figured out with the help of a friend that most of it was gone in coping with my depression. But I can't afford to lose any more time because my exam is nearing. So I decided to take this head-on, sit in my lows and help myself calm down on my own. I began learning how to meditate -- I know I won't be able to sit longer than an hour everyday, so some time saved and some healing done. And now I should cram all the study planned for the past 17 days and the coming 14 days, all into the coming 2 weeks. Seems impossible to me. I feel nervous. But I will fight. And I know how chaotic and low my mind can get, but in no case will I give in to PMO.
It happens, i have been there. So let me tell you what helped.
Make a journal for daily goals. Dissect your main goal into daily achievable parts, dont go for the mountain, focus on the stairs. One day at a time remember that.
Have a place only for studying, let it be a study table, or any other piece of furniture, only study there, do not do something else other then study, specially do not study on bed, its the whole logic of how brain tags a place for specific function. Join a library if you cannot study at home.
Get rid of distractions, phone is the big one, go offline. If the work is online then i would suggest use POMODORO technique for focused sessions, it helps a lot for getting things done and at the end after seeing your sessions you will feel accomplished.
Motivation is cup with a leak in it, it goes down daily and you will have to fill it daily.
EARLY MORNING EXCERCISE OR STRETCH can help you get in the zone. Good luck
Good going.
Day = 9/100
Just like a falcon, keep going higher.
Day 49
Going strong
Had search some content but only to check
Not gonna do another time
Will do it at any cost
You really are on a roll. Thats a red flag, dont let it get to you.!
Day 17 and 18
I missed yesterday. Had a full day with family. That family life improved a lot! I had a realization along my path when I broke the cycle of guilt and getting trapped and back to guilt that I went through a thousand times.
I stepped out and realized that I do this over and over again. I am not going to continue this. Why am I actually doing this. So I seriously asked myself the very first time. And I could see answers right away. I had too much stress too much heavy burden and there is nothing like the switch to pleasure that immediately takes me into vacation, one of course that is a trap,but still taking me out of all pressure instantly. i also saw that there is nothing else in my life. Stress business heavy load a neglected wife a poor family life had the addiction I was hooked on.
i saw that in order to get out of the compulsion I need to find a lot of pleasurable good healthy things and establish these. Before I manage this and also do not get the pressure down there is no way to get out. i did. succeed in both. Pressure is out. Family and marriage is built up and I was right the compulsion is off since. I feel I have a choice. I was clear about that it’s not only about quitting porn and addiction and compulsion but also about building a true life. The two need to go hand in hand.
now I have a beautiful home and a good family life. I established other pleasurable things. Workout fitness health and things like sauna and eating good food. Cooking good healthy meals.
Its really good listening to your story. I am happy for you!
