Report: My death. Day 34, today i relapsed, i lost my way during the battle, it was an intense combat, but i have failed to prevail. Thanks for the battle @King Ghoul Sstar , I've learned a lot during these 34 days, but now it's my time. I couldn't resist the urges like a true warrior should, i couldn't defeat my own demons, they came to hunt me once more, but these time is to take me with them, and now its my time to go. You can properly execute me now with your best weapon, i do not deserve to live failing like that forever, i shall rest in peace forever in the woods with mother nature, with all the knowledge i gathered during my time on this planet.. I wish all the best to all combatants here, FIGHT FOREVER. Kill me... and Goodbye.
It seems you a samurai. Do not feel dishonored and suicide yourself. The greatest strength is to continuing living. To get once more, even if the sword is in your stomach. Do not give up. There is no point.
No matter how much you might want the mind to be free from thoughts, resisting them only creates tension. What do you think about that?
It happens to be that I relapsed today too..... therefore, I requesting re duel since it was a draw....... I..... had a dream two days ago about .... you know .... then yesterday I was triggered bad by thinking about my dream and vr..... then today ... I download some vid peeked at them then relapsed.... I was sooo mad at myself, I decided to cut off all my stupid hair off, and now set on 90days. Because I was feel really good about myself ...
It's all good my friend, an awesome draw then, we can still make it. I just need some time to recover.
No relapse talk here please. Guys, get up, do ya hear me? If I can go on with fighting this invincible robot, you can too!! Checking in, day 80.
You can take this win @QuietKarma. It seems as if the stress has been affecting me subconsciously, I thought I was doing fine.. but then I fell out of my good habits and into my bad ones out of nowhere. I'm feeling a mixture of anger and regret right now, I'll have to find myself an AP to prevent myself from falling again. I can't stand this shit, I can't believe I keep falling so easily. I'll do whatever it takes.
Rematch definitely, was just saying how PMO seems to hit in groups, just means we have to fight even harder. Destroy it forever. @King Ghoul Sstar
I believe it's a lack of productivity, which leads to that dissonance I've talked so much about, which leads to my giving in to the behavior and the suppression of the attitude. I did well on the two finals I had yesterday, and as a result I gave myself the excuse that I could "reward myself" and take it easy for a bit. That was my mistake, and I had almost no productivity for the rest of the day and ended up staying up later than I have for a while now. I'm afraid of the summer now, as I won't have nearly as much to do, which could lead to habits resurfacing. I don't know what I'll do.