The Friendzone

If someone was there for you / friendly towards you / helps you / hangs around you / does things for you / etc... you would naturally think that person is a friend or acquaintance. Especially when that person hides their real intentions of pursuing what they really want with you.

Friendzone is a situation that one creates for themselves. It's a way to hold on to access with another person while hiding their true intentions until they're ready to act. It's manipulative because everything that person does or says is for the purpose of trying to maneuver towards a hidden agenda.

The solution to the friendzone is honesty.

 

As a female, in my 20 odd years of dating the guys I friendzone have done nothing wrong and my decision was not impacted by any of his behavior. I would friendzone you very early on if I just did not feel any chemistry or physical attraction. I know men think they can create chemistry, but they cannot. It’s there or it’s not. And as a woman if were hanging out and you had not made a move or expressed interest and I was interested I would tell you that. If I as a woman were interested in a guy that I was friends with, I would tell him that. Another common mistake men make is thinking that she’s waiting on you to make a move and so you may have some hope of being more than friends, that quite rare. Women will let you know they are interested.

I always find it funny how guys think the friend zone is their fault. I suppose if you think you have some sort of control over the situation it makes you feel better, I get that but you don’t. I recommend if you have Netflix to watch this movie “when we first met” it’s a new comedy but it will show you exactly what I mean. It’s a guy who got friend zoned and is able to go back in time to try to change his behavior and not get friendzoned and he can’t.

My advice as the poster above said just be honest. If you want to date say that earlier on. Women have male friends they are not attracted to and would never sleep with or consider dating, but they enjoy your company. I know sometimes that’s confusing but the solution is just ask.

 

So first off I would say check out my post on how to find the right woman. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/help-for-nofappers-how-to-find-the-right-woman.159639/

Most women who friendzone u are not the right women. I've dated/been in relationships with girls both before and after the friendzone. Women have their own complexes and tastes that do not always have anything to do with if you are good enough. Sometimes its about things u cannot control. Height,skin color etc. Not even women can fully verbalize their preferences and even if they could it shames some of em to admit that they cannot really think for themselves and pick a good guy.

This doesnt mean women are the problem anymore than the friendzone is the problem. You just need to have an honest look at yourself and improve in the ways that attract the type of women that will appreciate you and who you can also accentuate. You know last year before I got with my current gf. One of my best friends friendzoned me, other refused to fool around anymore, the person I was seriously interested and spent all my time chasing lied to me about another 'friend' lol and the person I had subconsciously friendzoned turned out being the best thing to happen to me. And my friends, they picked like the most puppy dog guys. And I realized exactly why they both friendzoned me. They both wanted guys they could 'control', a guy who worshiped them.

Many women have been abused,harassed or had a bad relationship. And you have no idea what they think will make em happy. What they think in you is best to avoid even tho it might be good for em. Like nofap could tell u just be manlier and they may not even want a manly guy. You cannot know and its not ur job to force or to fix.

And as 'active' at that sounds I am short,broke and overweight lol. I have only my in depth understanding of women and life to help me navigate. And I quickly realized you know sometimes women are saving you from themselves. You better believe you do not want to deal with the complex secret reasons they are probably friendzoning you.

I mean sometimes women are wrong and dont know whats good for them. But its not ur job to convince em, not most of the time. Save that behaviour for someone u already have a real mutual connection with and is a soul mate. U know with my closest friend, she friendzoned me and I knew from our psychological profiles the chances of us being together at a younger age was super slim. We are very similar people but I know she wanted to not settle and also to have fun letting a guy worship her... oh thats another thing both women and men chase a dynamic they feel safe with regardless of attraction or logic sometimes. There are different explanations for this. parental imprints, first loves/relationships, core values. Point is focus on developing yourself.

Do nofap, and you will improve in how you deal with women and how much women are attracted to u. Its like 35 days into nofap my friend asked me out on a date. Women can also sense if you are high on hierarchies too. Even small ones u didnt think mattered, might to them. Like how well you dress. Like if u have 'style'. If you are a good dancer. In my experience you want someone to appreciate u for how u are already growing, not all these micro ways that may not mean anything to u. But u need to climb those hierarchies and you need to show it. Women will instinctively come to u if u do , especially if ur on nofap.

you wouldnt believe. Read my thread. Stop focussing on the friendzone. Its real but its only as big as u focus on that person and situation. Dont do that to urself or them. Its a young persons waste of time. And don't masturbate over friends or people you really want to date. Trust me, it removes a lot of the motivation, respect and can even add shame.

 

I agree that men can screw up things by doing stuff that is a turn off. But oh the flip side if the attraction is already there she will let more slide than if it’s not. Yes be confident yes approach but don’t be too hard on or blame yourself so much if you do get friend zoned.

 

Sometimes I feel like the concept of friendzoning takes away a woman's agency to decide for herself who she's into or not. It's as if any woman can be had so long as certain techniques are followed and completely disregards the woman's own feelings on who she wants to be with. Women aren't prizes to be won or fought over, and if she's not into you, she's just not into you. It doesn't always have to be about the man's approach or experience.

 

hmm Friendzone something I found myself in a lot when I was younger and had little experience here some things to do to stay out of it not that it will make every women like you it will help you move on from the ones not interested here is the list I have learned from being on a lot of bad dates . note I wish I had the advice below when I was between the ages of 14-21 it would have saved me a lot of time and grief and money

1. You have to touch them on a date hands ,shoulder, or back YOU HAVE TO MAKE CONTACT
2 Don't call and text them constantly call every couple of days don't return the phone call or text immedantly it makes you look desprit
3 speek up for yourself on a date if she is starts talking about an ex tell her you don't want to here it, You want to be her lover not here therapist
4 never let them directly know you like them and for gods sake never tell them you love them early in a relationship it always has to be this ,we will see if this works out
5 if she does get mad when you do the first 4things NEVER APLOGIZE AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF IT MAKES YOU LOOK WEAK WHEN YOU DO ,if she gets pissed at you for saying you don't want to hear about her exbf for the 5th time just say yeah I don't want to hear about him your here with me now then act like your about ready to get up and leave BOUNDRIES ARE HUGE WOMEN TEST FOR THEM also if she gets mad respond with that here responses are weak and lame ,
note the above is not about getting women to like you its about showing up as a MAN

 

That was exactly my point. The man has little to no control over whether a woman friend zones him or not. I sometimes read these tips and say huh? No that does not matter. Sure if someone is rude or disrespectful it could turn me off but I would not even want to be his friend then. To me it’s a way of the men believing that they have some control over whether they are friend zoned or not it’s comforting. But a false sense of comfort. For men interested in dating someone make that clear from day 1. Do not pretend to be her friend or hang around hoping she will see you as more, aint not gonna happen outside of a Hallmark movie!