The Glorious Cold Approach Competition of 2016! (Triggers and Harsh Language)

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Mr. Sir, Dec 29, 2015.

  1. Earl Sweatshirt

    Earl Sweatshirt Fapstronaut

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    Let's get it @Buzz Lightyear ! Maybe I can find someone to spend Valentine's Day with because my confidence and good habits are increasing by the day.
     
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  2. Mr. Sir

    Mr. Sir Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone! I'm so glad to see this thread taking off without my involvement. I'm going to go back and read through all the posts so I can get a feel for what's going down here. It was so exciting I just had to post first to let ya'll know I'm still alive.

    So I fell off a bit at the start of the year. I met a girl while on a camping trip in early January who became extremely infatuated with me. She lives in the same city as me and right away she purposed becoming "friend's with benefits". I'd never been in that kind of relationship but, being horny, I agreed. It really diminished my drive to do approaches and I felt like I was giving away my power the same way I did when I was doing PMO. So I've stopped giving her my power.... it's been about a week now and I feel the fire building up again. There are women at my school who I want to talk to. There's a lot of potential for approaches and I'm going all in.

    Thank you to each and every single one of you for committing to this. I'm going to start posting here regularly and I'm not going to settle for a female who just wants to have sex with me. Originally I was comfortable with the idea of having flings with the girls that I approach but I've realized that leads to a similar weakness (for me) as doing PMO. I'm really starting to understand that when you fall in love with a person there's not the same energetic loss - it's more of a revitalization.

    The only thing to fear is fear itself. Peace!

    Edit:

    Just read through the thread. I have the biggest smile on my face. Keep going guys! We've got this!
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2016
  3. BackToManhood

    BackToManhood Fapstronaut

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    Apparently I've been doing 'cold approaches' without realizing it, lol. When I was genuinely looking for directions I would usually try to find a pretty girl to ask. I got a few numbers that way without even asking for them. I'm not an extremely good-looking guy or anything. I think girls just appreciate it if you're nice, smile, make jokes, etc. I usually do that anyway when I talk to people so it's just a habit for me.

    Well I have a gf now (met her online - "cold message" style haha), so I can't contribute here except to offer my encouragement. Way to go guys! You can do it. Start with small, innocent interactions (aka not flirting) and work your way up.
     
  4. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    It is easier to approach ugly girls than hot girls, any tips on overcoming this problem?
     
  5. Chef Boy

    Chef Boy Fapstronaut

    Approach the ugly girls and gain the reference experience. Gradually approach hotter girls each time until you feel comfortable approaching 10s.
     
  6. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Great, thanks
     
  7. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yes, as Chef says.

    Also, the mind often projects some ideal image onto the 'hotties'. It is important to pre-empt the mind, and just approach when you fell the..... urge. When you actually talk to one, they become human with all the imperfections and insecurities which that implies.

    I saw the most sexiest woman the other day seated by herself at Dunkin Donuts. In the old days, I would have hesitated, got in my head, thought she was way out of my league. What did I do? Just approached straight away without thinking... like gravity [this is to be present/ in the flow]. Had a great chat, got the number, got the date, which went excellent, and now have a second date lined up.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2016
  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Pretty woman seated next to me,
    Travelling to some destiny,
    I'd break the peace and ask the way,
    Yet with a toy you happily play.
    Did you per chance find the latest app?..
    It makes iambics..... and fills the gaps.
    What? Not to speak unless introduced?
    Yes, we've that code though of different use.
    With us it tests both feeling and will,
    To wall it up and keep it still,
    Until it gains a strength and power
    Where waterfalls are wont to shower.
    It tells the aim of a wall before-
    To restrain the passion to see it pour.
    What? My words make little sense?
    Well, to icy reason I've no defence.
    For when I see such beauty in you,
    I know no longer what I do,
    But manage a smile, and a good day...
    The first thing to mind is what I say.
    Against this life it seems a crime
    Not to respond so in briefest time.
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2016
  9. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    Good asking for directions approach today. Spent a good minute talking and getting really indepth directions. She was laughing and smiling.

    Been practicing leaving space. Taking a pause before responding to someone or asking a question. People have been reacting to me better because of it and it helps a lot with anxiety.

    Also recorded and sent a short video to a girl I met a few months ago and have been irregularly texting with since.

    Got a date later today with a girl I've been talking to on tinder. It will be my first date in around 10 years. Exited and nervous. Just need to remember to slow down, leave space and let it flow. Not let my anxiety get the better of me.

    Taking action everyday towards my goals. One step at a time.

    Wishing everyone the best with their approaches.
     
  10. Mr. Sir

    Mr. Sir Fapstronaut

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    @Temujin isn't it amazing how as soon as you stop throwing a pity party for yourself and you take control of the situation your life becomes full of women?

    Alright friends. I've got class today. It's been 2 months since I did any cold approaches. I have to do three today. It's exciting but I've got to stay calm and not make it a bigger deal than it is. So if I come back here and report less than three approaches or zero, I want one of ya'll to cyber pimp slap me, ok?
     
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  11. BackToManhood

    BackToManhood Fapstronaut

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    @Mr. Sir Just curious, are you going out of your way to do these? I mean, what if you had to spend all day at home for some reason? Do you force yourself to get out in a more populated area where you can see some hot girls? What if it's raining really bad? :p
     
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  12. Mr. Sir

    Mr. Sir Fapstronaut

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    @BackToManhood I live in south Texas so heavy rainfall during the day is very uncommon. That being said, you have to find the line and know yourself. The weather might be bad or there could be some other external circumstance but you have to know when you're legitimately confined by your environment or taking a legitimate break and bullshitting yourself. To elaborate, I think staying at home all day is very, very bad and unhealthy for guys like us. In my case, I simply don't do anything useful to myself if I spend all day at home. Some people can though. Think in terms of macro momentum. If you're doing approaches every day - every day you're taking steps forward. Every day you don't approach is a step back... which leads me to my post for the day...

    I did one approach so I guess I owe ya'll 2 more approaches, plus 3 more tomorrow. I'm amazed at how 2 months off set me back to being socially derp. That's ok. I'm getting back on the horse. In no time I'll be hooked on pickup again.
     
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  13. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations on the approach.

    Date went really well. Focused on building deep rapport and talking about deeper and deeper topics. Sharing lots of feelings and opinions on personal stuff.

    I could sense the moment where I hooked. After that point she started asking me lots of questions.

    Really cool girl. Going to meet up with her again in the future.
     
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  14. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    Have a day off today. Going to spend five hours walking around my city. I'm going to do at-least one approach. Hopefully more.
     
  15. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    I haven't been consistently posting in here, but a quick update. I got the number of this girl who, by chance we met at my job, but then later found out we have a few classes together. We are going to "study", but then she suggested going to a coffee shop (instead of somewhere on campus). I'm probably reading too much into this, but whatever. By the way when I saw her at my job I stopped dead in my tracks, she's that attractive. Definitely stoked. :cool:

    Later today I'm going to ask another chick out who's in my weight-lifting class. This beats pmo, anytime of day, no way in hell that garbage is better than the feelings I'm getting from this. If you want details of all my approaches check out my journal. I'll make it a point to start posting here more often though.
     
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  16. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys any good videos or books to recommend on approach anxiety - I know the best thing is to just go out and approach, but it's really tough
     
  17. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    I bought a book called 'she's six steps away'. Everything I'm doing with cold approaching comes from that currently.
     
  18. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Thanks I just bought it, I look forward to trying it out
     
  19. Mr. Sir

    Mr. Sir Fapstronaut

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    @g2stop You really need to stop procrastinating and just do it. You're missing out on a lot for no reason. You're applying the same compulsive habit of masturbation to pickup. Like sex, you want to do it but based on compulsion you redundantly are taking on a spectator role. In your next post, I expect you to tell us about an approach. If not, me and the rest of us on this thread will be very disappointed.

    @volt2187 Very nice man! Did you meet her through cold approach? I'm glad you're getting to experience real life. More than half the population in female and more than half of men are addicted to PMO. That leaves us non-conformists with two females per male ;) There's a bright side to everything!

    Update

    Today I did 2 approaches. I was alone at my school's cafeteria with my sketchbook. I told this lovely lady I needed to sketch round object for my art class and asked if I could sketch her cup of fruit. Guys, approaching is fun. It's good for the brain, I swear. I have have such a big smile as I write this. The best thing is you never know who you're going to meet! She was very cool - very nerdy, and had a huge vocabulary. I was impressed with her as the conversation unfolded and slipped her a few complements, which she devoured. I kept everything friendly. In retrospect I could have gotten a number or a date. It's the escalation - that's my sticking point. But I'll see her around so it's all good. The other approach was brief but I got it in.

    Looking forward to tomorrow! Good night!
     
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  20. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    @Mr. Sir Kind of, but not your typical cold approach. I work in a retail store and this girl happened to come in one day and was so floored (she's a 10 imo) I had to at least approach her and ask her if she needed help (part of my job normally anyways). She didn't so we went our separate ways. The very next day in our anatomy class we bumped into each other and joked about the previous day. Turns out she's also in the class after that one too. It took me a while to warm up to approach her more, but yesterday I just said screw it and confidently told her we should study together.

    She was excited about that idea and actually told me we should exchange numbers. We talked a little more and then started texting, which she's laughed at everything I've said and it feels like she's sending signals (and emojis:p), but I hate to read into things like that this soon. But yeah, she wants to go to a coffee shop to study, so I'm interested in seeing where that goes. I could tell she was happy I took the initiative and approached her yesterday. She even introduced me to one of her friends, lol.
     

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