The Glorious Cold Approach Competition of 2016! (Triggers and Harsh Language)

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Mr. Sir, Dec 29, 2015.

  1. Chef Boy

    Chef Boy Fapstronaut

    Good job guys, I have a ridiculous amount of respect for what you're doing. The way my anxiety is these days, I couldn't imagine even being able to ask for directions. I've always had social anxiety but this is undoubtedly the worst its ever been.
     
  2. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Start out with baby steps- hold a little bit of eye contact, hold a door open, smile. When you are comfortable with that, take it up a notch.

    Go hard!
     
  3. addicted2consciousness

    addicted2consciousness Fapstronaut

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    whats the opinions on approaching if you have a gf lol?
     
  4. Chef Boy

    Chef Boy Fapstronaut

    If in aid of your personal development, and not to be pursuing outcomes of the interactions, it's fine. I'd probably suggest you shouldn't tell her you're doing it.
     
  5. Earl Sweatshirt

    Earl Sweatshirt Fapstronaut

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    Performance - I would say probably perfect. The conversation was very natural and I did not overthink anything at all. The conversation overall was good and we shared some laughs. I considered asking for her number but I decided not to.

    Areas of Improvement - I really don't know, that was probably a flawless conversation.

    What I learned from this Cold Approach is that it is best to talk to the gender of your preference if you are in a common activity together and if you see him/her around at work/in class. And of course, we still need to wage war against PMO because that is what brings us down.

    10/10
     
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  6. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

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    @Buzz Lightyear do you meet women in coffee shops? if so how do you meet them? what's your typical opener?
     
  7. Brasileiro

    Brasileiro Fapstronaut

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    I sense new Styles and new Mysterys here...

    I am in. :) in fact, i just approached a girl today. She studies with me.. So cute :)
     
  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    It is not so much what you say, but how you say it. If I think they might be open to conversation, I might ask them what they are reading. Or I might ask how to connect to the wifi. Or I might just smile and say hello.

    Many woman are bored and lonely. Why do you think they are lost in their cell phones so much. You offer the woman an awesome experience when they get to chat to you!
     
  9. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

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    @Buzz Lightyear seems you have to wait around a lot at a coffee shop for girls to walk in, right situations etc. I think grocery stores, street, parks, and malls are faster to practice and move on.
     
  10. BrainPlasticity

    BrainPlasticity Fapstronaut

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    I've been getting really obsessed with pick-up the past few days. It's causing some imbalance in my daily routines and mindsets.
    I'm used to throwing those safe jabs at this point but now I'm not satisfied by my performance if I just do safe jabs all the time. I'm starting to expect more from my daily performance. I want to generate attraction in the women I talk to!

    So I've been watching several hours of dating advice videos/podcasts, I also went to the downtown bars all by myself last night after several months just to practice. Ah but stopping all these well groomed women on the street is quite intimidating, especially when they're in groups.

    I was just standing there wasting time, trying to do what I know I should be doing! Approach!. Arh! such frustration!!, it's not enough that I have the confidence to make good small talk; I need to be extremely confident on a whole different level to generate any attraction! I know this because of the infield footages of PUAs.
    As I was standing there being nervous and frustrated, I knew that it's a good thing. It's good that I'm pushing myslef to be outside my comfort zone. This is the next level that I'm trying to take on in my game of life.

    I've noticed that I really need to work on eye contact even though I'm able to talk so fluently, I've got to work on being fully confident to approach directly with 0 hesitation in my heart and risk getting rejected, I've got to make sure to not come across as needy even though I actually am due to the scarcity of women in my life. :( is this really worth it!!? the grind, the hardships, the loneliness, the frustration!?

    However, I know that I have this drive to improve in this area because of not PMOing for so long. This is the right way; sure I can get an escort, sure I can watch some awesome adult video and MO; Once I do that, the drive for dating and learning pick-up will go away temporarily. But I won't be spiritually happy if I give into instant gratification short term satisfaction.

    To master dating skills, to get the kind of abundance mindset and freedom of choice might take months!!!
    But damn it! that's what I want!!! I want to know what it's like to date beautiful women!! F*** I spent so much time playing video games, PMOing, watching movies, etc, had I used that time working on my dating skills my life would have been so awesome today! :(

    Oh well, I'm going to be turning 27 soon, It's not too bad, I still have my youth. I've already made massive progress on my celibacy challenge for the first time, I've cut out all unproductive things from my life. I've just been focusing on improving my life for the past few months. I'm sure I'll achieve my rewards one day! one day, if I keep up my hard-work and consistency! one day! It'll take months, maybe a year, but that's not too long. I've just got to be patient with myslef. Step by step.

    Funny how being good with women takes a similar amount of effort as in trying to get fit, making money, beating PMO addiction etc. Life is truly a game.

    https://soundcloud.com/larry-amos-jr/disk-2-05-power-of-compounding
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2016
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  11. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure but I think trying too hard to generate attraction might be pilling the pressure on.

    I know so far the times when the girl seemed most interested was when I was the most relaxed. The less effort I was putting in and the more it just flowed the better it went.
     
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  12. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    The trick is to go to the right coffee shops, and at the right time when they are crowded. If you just want to practice getting over approach anxiety, then you are right about those other places. But if you want a decent interaction, an instant date, or a solid phone number, then the coffee shop is the way to go. It is also quite natural to start up a conversation with someone else who is there by themselves killing time. Ideally, you are also wanting to go about it in the normal/ natural course of your day.

    As for the crowded coffee shops, there are always exceptions to the rule. Yesterday, before I was due to meet a date, I went into a very quiet coffee shop to use their wifi. I noticed one cutie sitting all by herself midst a ton of empty tables. I plonked myself unashamedly down at the one next to hers [confidence], opened my laptop, and asked her the wifi code [promptness]. Conversation ensued, I gave her my business card, and then dashed off as had to get to another coffee shop for the date I'd organized previously. Anyway, this organized date flaked on me at the last minute, but I did not feel too bad about it as the woman I'd just met started texting me furiously! ha ha

    So had two dates this weekend, and another two that flaked.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2016
  13. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Assume attraction, as they say, and lean back.:rolleyes:
     
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  14. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Here's a thought:

    There is no time when you are less present than when you sit before P.

    There is no time when you are more present than when you sit before a beautiful woman.
     
  15. Earl Sweatshirt

    Earl Sweatshirt Fapstronaut

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    @Buzz Lightyear 's posts are making me feel inspired. I'll definitely do the coffee shop thing one day.
     
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  16. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    Asking for directions doesn't phase me at all now. Even got blanked yesterday and didn't mind. If that had happened earlier I would have been emotionally obliterated.

    Now the aim is to ask a follow up question after asking for directions. Practice keeping the interaction going. After a couple of weeks of that I'm gonna pratice moving into more personal conversation.

    I'm treating the this like a marathon but it has already made so much difference to my social anxiety. This is the best thing I think I have ever done.
     
  17. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Well, just got back home from a date. I had met this girl a couple of weeks back in Dunkin Donuts, where she sat seated with her legs ever so sexily crossed whilst playing with her Iphone. Like a bee to honey, I approached and asked her the wifi code. She happily complied, and soon we got chatting. I never like to impose too much, so left her soon after securing the phone number... though of course not too hastily. She lives out of town, so organized the date when she would be back in town two weeks later. I wasn't expecting too much of the date because, to be honest, I thought she was a little out of my league. But after a few minutes, the conversation started to flow, and then there was a nice flirty vibe to it at times. I was encouraged with the solid eye contact she was returning. So after an hour and a half, and toward the end, I suggested visiting her next week in her not too distant city. She seemed very eager on the idea, so looks like date number 2 [maybe 3 if you count the first meeting as an instant date] is lined up. I really liked this girl.

    Date number 2 lined up tomorrow with a girl I met on the subway. Had a month's radio silence from her after an awesome first date.:confused: You can just never guess what's going through a girl's mind. Best to be persistent but non-needy.

    Oh, and another date lined up in a few weeks time in another city I am travelling to while on holiday. I meet her while in a queue at a train station about a month ago.

    Go hard people!
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2016
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  18. Temujin

    Temujin Fapstronaut

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    Persistent but non-needy is great advice. I shall follow it.
     
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  19. skylar_legit

    skylar_legit Fapstronaut

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    im gonna go for this challenge too!
     
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  20. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    I like this thread, still not done a cold approach, but will keep reading till I get the courage to go for it
     
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