I made a new years resolution to not use PMO entering 2019, it was going good and strong for 14 days. In those days i had some serious urges and was very close to relapsing but i held back and told my self it wasn't worth it, because it really isn't worth using PMO. On the 14 day is when i finally gave in, and when i did i i binged for 2 hours to all types of porn. The next day i did the same, after i was done using PMO for the second straight day i was tired of it and really really wanted to stop for good. Everything was going good Until Last Night when i had thoughts of recording myself masturbate and then masturbate to the video, yes i know i have some weird thoughts. Today is when it got to me again i was super horny and wanted to record myself so i did, and it was horrible immediately after i nutted i was filled with regret and deleted the video and had no idea of what i was doing to myself. But i wasn't done, i cleaned up the jizz and hid the evidence, but i was still horny so i gave in again and watched some straight porn. Again IT WAS HORRIBLE. Took a shower after and almost started crying because of what i had done. I prayed to GOD to help me get rid of my thoughts and urges to use PMO. I came into 2019 telling myself i wasn't going to live with regrets but i really regret what i did today and hate myself, I'm hoping i will feel better in the next couple of days. Sorry for making this so long thx for whoever took the time to read this. PMO has to STOP!! What should i do to stop these thoughts/fantasies from getting into my mind?