The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 3 - Orc

Chaser effect always hits me hard the first few days. Had many heavy urges but said no to them and listened to my gf sleeping which always calms me

Tonight ill be alone at home, going to relax a bit but ill have to watch out

 

481 days high king
550 days no PMO, semen retention

 

Day 4

Today was very similar to yesterday. I've been walking with a friend that lives in my building most nights lately. I fell asleep again. I don't want that to happen tomorrow.

One thing I'm fearing is super strong urges that could come about. It's almost like I feel over that part of the journey and don't want to deal with it anymore, but I know they will probably come. I remember the early days being much harder in previous streaks. I hope that keeps up. Not to say I have no temptation though. I have been thinking a lot about this one video I used to watch a lot, I hope that fades away.

We had a bit of a dip in a Crypto I've been slowly accumulating for some time now, so I took the opportunity to grab more. I don't make much at all right now, but I invest almost all of it that I can. I was planning to also swap some stuff that hasn't been doing well for it, but I slipped up by forgetting I needed Etherium to pay the gas fee to transfer it back to the exchange I use. This made me really annoyed because I feel like I often have trouble with tech and that whenever I try to use it that it never goes my way. I didn't realize that's what it was. Yeah... When you do dumb stuff like that it sure doesn't work!

 

465 days

 

Day 248 no PMO. I’m up at 4am again. Work stress is high right now. I’m trying to keep my routine if Journaling, reading the Bible and working out and that has kept the urges away for now.

 

Day 102,103,and 104

 

This particular video I watched is behind a paywall, so I can’t link it here. But this psychiatrist guy has been immensely helpful for me. This is a link from a series of videos he’s done about motivation that I find really really helpful. He also has a life coaching program I participate in that I can vouch for as legitimately helpful.

 

Day 8 - Uruk Hai

Made it to Uruk Hai! Had therapy and life coaching yesterday. Stumbled on some anger I didn’t know I had during therapy; it’s always good to learn more about myself. Had Mediterranean for dinner. Urges have been pretty low, maybe this is the flatline period? Pretty solid day. Been trying to feel my negative emotions as they arise instead of suppress them, and I think that’s helping with cravings a lot. Also, reminding myself that PMO is actually bad for me and is stunting my emotions, and I want what’s good for me, because I love myself. I’ve been a bit lax with Youtube, but I don’t allow myself to scroll through suggested anymore. I pick one or two videos that I know I want to see, and that’s it. I’m still in IT hell at work, I might have to get my manager involved lol. Hope y’all have a good day, be aware of your feelings, stay strong, peace out.

 

I agree, huzzah to healthy coping strategies, but your wording seems a bit judgmental towards yourself. Specifically the word “grown-up”. As if engaging in PMO will make you more childish. There’s a value statement there, I will be “less than” an adult if I give into this. I don’t think PMO is healthy either, but I don’t think giving in changes your value as a person. You will still be a human worthy of love and respect whether you break or not. This is a long of way of saying “don’t be so hard on yourself”. Hope your day is awesome, man

 

All good - Orc check

 

Day 6.

 

Check in Day 22.

 

Day 86, 4 days to go before the milestone

 

It's fine man, just keep pushing and do not lose track of your goal!

 

Day 11 on my path of reboot.

 

Welcome! Let's do this!

I'm back on day 1, tonight at 7 I will have one day again. Yesterday sucked in the area of fapping for me. I did it twice, and neither time did I enjoy it. I was chasing the euphoria I recalled from other times, and I am glad to say that I did not catch it. Now I feel less inclined to relapse more. I told my wife I had masturbated and that I had not watched porn, though I did not tell her I had watched porn substitutes. I feel like I told her half the truth, but I felt better that at least I told her I had relapsed. She would not even mind if I did m if it did not affect our sex life, as long as I did not go back to p as that could lose us our son (he would go back to his dad if his dad ever heard). But anyway, m does take a lot away from our sex life. My wife and I make love about 1/4 as much, which sucks badly for her as she has a stronger drive than I do. I need to understand why I keep doing this and do what I need to stop. I think I'm doing some but not all the things I need.

I watched the video, it was a good point. I know basically what triggered my addiction in the first place:

Spoiler

I had been abused sexually, physically, and mentally by my dad from birth, and my best friend started sexually abusing me around age 11 or 12. That's when I started masturbating and seeking pornography, which my abusive friend had started me on.

 

Anyway, I'm back to day one. Time to do all the parts of my action plan, not just some.

 

Hey Admin can you add my name in the list of Elves as I am on day 31 now

 

Nice, keep it up!