The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 484 no PMO. Today is my last day is quarantine and I’m ready to get out of the house for sure. Had some problems with my family yesterday but I remained calm for the most part and was able to keep it from escalating. Write several aggressive texts and then waited and eventually deleted them. Felt good to overcome the urge to fight back.

 

Day 2 check in

 

Checking in for day 23!

Yesterday was a strange day, things didn't really go as planned and as such everything was aligning perfectly for a relapse. I was in the bathroom, on my phone and the option was definitely there in my mind. Luckily though i had no interest in it, at that moment it was clear in my head that it wouldn't fix anything, quite the contrary actually, so i never even came close to look for P. I'm happy for this small victory but i'm also aware that this was a dangerous situation where a weaker state of mind would have easily sent me over the edge. I need to work on avoiding these types of scenarios.

I set up a P blocker on my phone as an extra safety step, hopefully it will never actually be necessary.

 

16 days
Low-mid urges yestarday, worked out and I took a cold shower. Always staying out of social networks. I'm afraid for the weekend, I will be alone all of it(my roomate will go to a trip). I think that I will go to a public place to work or something, and maybe I will plan a date or hang out with somebody.

Keep strong my brothers.

 

Day 7 as an Orc complete!
Feeling low right now, but I am determined to push through it.
"My crown is waiting as soon as I get the courage to wear it."

 

Check in day 267

 

Day 05..(21 june 2022).

 

Day zero. Only made it a week this time. It's a motivation issue more than a discipline issue, and I need to find a new well of reasons not to masturbate--it is too easy to find reasons why occasional M with no P is "fine given my circumstances." Otherwise, it is too easy to self stimulate and then decide I want to M "when I need to" more than I want to practice retention. I will go back to the drawing board of scientific study, marital discussion, and possibly some therapy for myself. Thanks for supporting me despite my cracking under the weight of the ring.

 

Day 12 complete, end of day 13

day 12 was okay, didn’t do good at work, and I broke down at the end of the day, because my wife is really sad about our relationaship and I guess it was too much for me. So I just watched rick and morty up to the time I had to go to sleep. It’s a waste of time, but I got over it.

Today, I had plenty of desires because of my dreams and because of rick and morty. These desires make me want my wife as well and thus help me not break down like yesterday, because to have my wife I need to have a good relationship. I know it’s low, but it is what it is for now.

 

Day 2!

 

Had a good working day today
Spent more time that I needed checking personal emails.

Tomorrow I will be a hobbit

 

Day 7.

Was at Liseberg yesterday, it was very fun with all of the rollercoasters. But it was nice weather, which is good of course but all the girls were dressed quite sexually provocativly. That meant a lot of triggers everywhere, and it was hard not to look.

But i read today what tilopa said on urges, and i understand now that it was excellent practise, and i also did okay, although i did catch myself turning back to look a couple of times.

Which makes me feel like what you describe here, i feel like a freak staring, but a lot of those girls want you to, hence the dressing, or lack thereof. Now that dosen’t mean you should of course.

 

Checking in day 220.

 

enjoy the urges, without them how can you become stronger?
do some heavy workout to take excess energy out and release some healthy dopamine, endorphins.
Also meditation helps.

 

Dusk of the 95th day.

 

Day 172

Feeling a lot closer to my friends and colleagues; it makes a big difference when you can work alongside those who’s company you enjoy, and today was a pleasure. Cooked a meal for about ten people as a thank you, took ages but turned out delicious - lovely way to spend an evening.

No urges today, feeling strong.

 

Day 1 - Orc

 

It hears that your are having a bad time, you can do it men. Try to remove anything that maybe is trigering you, maybe a tv show or a social network. You can do it brother, you can do it.

 

Day 492