The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Checking in day 237.

 

Day 337

 

218 SR, no PMO

The urge is gone
I had an urge like one week ago. An urge usually appears every 3 months if I don't have sex during that time.

I always find my way to deal with it by having sex, this time I solved it by simply acknowledging the urge, enduring it.

Surprisingly it passed away I don't feel an urge to have sex and much less PMO never crossed my mind and I must say it's quite a liberating experience. Even do I can have sex with my girlfriend or with other girl I don't feel any need to do so.

Cultivating an accomplishment in beating an urge completely I think is something any man or rebooter has to experience.

Now the next time I have an urge I remember this mental state I have right now how strong, free I feel. No needing porn or girls, being above sex is one of the best experiences I could ever ask.

 

So sorry to hear that @Talz. Good call to not look it up much, because what would that help? May your mom get well soon.

 

Day 24!

Urges have been really low this whole streak, i have a feeling this is going to be it! But i will still constantly have my guard up and continue educating myself on the harmful effects of porn to us and the people making it, so that i wont go down without one hell of a fight!

 

Day 8

Today was a pretty nice day. Read a fantastic book called The Trial of God by Elie Wiesel and it got me feeling like myself again, giving me reassurance in the way I'm trying to live my life, and most of all, courage in all the challenges I face in life. I had a nice swim and cooked myself some steak, which was delicious, and then I watched the tennis with my dad, which was nice.

Had a nice chat over video call in the evening with another young adult Moonie whom I hadn't spoken to for a few years. It wasn't the best conversation of my life but it was good to catch up, and it's good to feel less alone in all the ups and downs of life, when you realise that we all go through similar pain, fears and challenges, but we just never talk about them.

Had some strong urges to PMO today at various points, think it's the hot weather getting to me a bit. I leaned into reading The Trial of God in those moments, and it helped a lot. (Fantastic book, I highly recommend it.)

Keep up the good work, friends.

 

Bounce back brother. Bilbo had doubts before starting his journey, but after a few false starts, he was on his way and never looked back.

 

Day 0 / 1000. Battles won against pmo: 0.

Luck ended, my strength ended and I failed this morning. I have to admit - addiction is still stronger than me. Life is so weird. Just because I think my behavior is not rational, that doesn't mean I will be able to stop it.

Behind every relapse is a lesson. I have to figure out what is it this time. One thing I clearly saw is that at the peak of temptations I want pleasure way more than the freedom. And I don't know how to counter that because I simply forget about doing the right thing.

Seems kinda pointless to write this now. Because it's easy to say flashy things, when not being tempted. It's easy to philosophise, when mind is calm. I am more interested of what I think, when I am in the storm of temptations. That's when glimmers of possible progress can be found.

My addiction is very strong - it can make life seem unbearable sometimes and the "substance" seem like only escape that can give happiness. Clearly I cannot become free without the help of God. This task is way out of my league. If this is road to freedom, I'll be happy and thankful, but if I need to experience more lessons of life and humility, I'll accept them.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

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Stuff that should help to not pmo:
1. No internet for recreational purposes until 6 pm.
2. Waking up on the same time every day.

 

Day 189

Absolutely baking heat here today, spent a lot of time walking around town, went to the gym, and then played volleyball this evening. Lots of my friends were having beers which I would have loved to join in with but I knew it wouldn’t put me in good stead for the evening, so I’ve come home instead.

Urges haven’t been a problem today, although I find my eyes wandering when around town or in the gym - need to be stricter.

@Ready to Stop congratulations brother! What an incredible achievement, wishing you all the best for the rest of your life!

 

Check in day 283

 

Check in day 284

 

Great day! I was interviewed to work as a temp in an important lab of my town and I got accepted. Of course, this adds up the amount of time of studying, which will be tough. But I'm really glad I had this opportunity.

Man, that quote really striked me. I could se myself every time that I failed and that sums it.

Bro, this really isn't normal. Naturally, a man should have a minimal level of sexdrive, and this that you're telling sounds like a problem. Maybe you should check up with a doctor. It's for your own good. We know that urges will always be there, the thing is to learn how not to cope with them, get it? That's why your situation is concerning.

 

Day 2 complete!

Not many situations in which I might be triggered today, but lots of opportunities to practice patience. A thought I had in my nightly prayer yesterday: It's impossible to grow in just one or two virtues at a time while neglecting the rest. Maybe the virtues will grow at different rates, but cultivating them has to be holistic, all of them together. Different kinds of sins are often linked together, like lust, gluttony, and sloth all contributing to a reset. If I want to grow in chastity, then growing in patience, with others but most of all with myself, will help.

Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe, ruega por nosotros!

 

I'm sorry for your relapse, but I think there is a science behind it, when we starting looking at some arousal stuff our prefrontal cortex which is responsible for the rational thinking, becomes less important. And when we starting to look at porn it's just basically turns off.

So, that's why you was not feeling in control. We basically become monkeys(without the rational thinking).

 

Made a list of foods that will keep my protein intake a bit over what I need right now for building muscle. Got the most relevant habits I can think of ready to go to be tracked in an app. Glad @Ready to Stop is sticking around for a bit and looking forward to seeing the challenge update hopefully tomorrow.

Thanks for the well wishes for my mom. Couldn't call her today as my phone service doesn't seem to be working today, nor the debit machines in town, so something is going on...

 

Checking in.

Had a good day yesterday.
I had two interviews on Friday, and I was feeling pretty stressed.

Usually I would PMO, but I said, "fuck you, porn, I will kick you in the face".

I went outside and spent some time with my wife.

Song for my porn addiction

 

Therefore Moderation,Chastity,Diligence,Being happy with others' good fortune,Personal responsibility and acceptance of God's Will as well as being humble are to be practiced every day.

 

Reduced food intake with bigger spacings between meals make baking heat rather well tolerable.

 

How do people end up in this state and what's the way out?

 

1 day >> orc