Day 28 no PMO. My wife gets home tonight and I’m excited to have her back. My daughters and I have had a good two days together. I have started my walking again and that seems to be helping me have a more level attitude.
It's not an easy read. Digesting red pill was pain in a# for me. I mean reading it is different, but the hard part is accepting it wholly, that's not easy. Go into preventive medicine as well, that's even more interesting. I have decided to keep away from all red pill videos on Youtube, it in my opinion borders on bitterness and excessive ego, wanting to command and control. Which is what masculinity is. You must exist in a realm of healthy ego and your capacity to abstain from emotions. What is hard after red pill, is applying it with females. Man, these girls don't want to be submissive. Or better, they don't want to be submissive to a guy who she thinks is not 'man' enough. Then comes all the power struggle and ego snapping. Bascially, if you can make her to give up her ego and yours reign supreme, you make her someone who will let you take the lead. I find it funny when I see it in these red pill videos, where guys are trying to enforce their 'masculinity' and making these girls take on a submissive stance, and these modern females are anything but ready for it. They will fight tooth n nail to not submit.
Checking in Fellowship Friends! 107 Days Free of PMO. Quick check in for me today, forgive me for being brief but busy day ahead brothers! But today is the last challenging day, so let's get it. Stay Strong!
2 days. Think I may have gotten behind the reason I need to act out all the time. My default operating system seams to be fear and control. I have a very heavy heart. I carry a lot of weight. I seam to be able to put my mind into a place of lightness here now. It pulls my shoulders back and I stand taller. I don't need to control everything in this state. When I am in my ussual state I found that I force myself really hard to do things. Not charitable to myself at all. In the new state I get really nice feelings. Not sure if this is the full answer but it is def. a part of the puzzle. I just need to lighten the heck up. This was years ago. When I had a spiritual director. I said to myself "I am allowed to". It brought tremendous relief. I talked to my spiritual director about it and he said to be careful with that. Understandable. I think I figured out why it brings relief. I felt like I was not allowed to shine. I could not become too good at anything. I was not allowed to be better. I know who I learned that from and have come to realize he is an idiot. I am allowed to!! And I will!! I am going to become everything God made me to be!!
hahaha, Thanks so much for the motivation Baki. I hope my experiences can motivate others. I actually hear Goggins often and it fuels me.
One thing that Rollo has certainly convinced me of is that I should date casually and not be looking for a girlfriend. Only a relatively small amount of girls are really worth any commitment, in part for the reasons you mentioned. You really have to gain experience and take your time these days. Trust me, I know they don't want to submit; my ex absolutely destroyed me. I also recognize that I was far from worthy in the past too though. Most of the red pill space is filled with garbage pretenders just looking to grift for a quick buck, but I have linked up with some guys that legit want to help men level up. I did some work with a red pill hypnotist named Ryan Fowler for example who has really helped change my life slowly, but surely.
