The Mighty That Fell ~ Squeaky Soul's Journal

Shit... Thanks Blue for the input,

I like her, but after being slightly open about it here, I feel that it's going to get really weird between her brother and I. I guess I am attracted to her. She is really pretty and she is constantly messaging me via text or social network. So the physical attraction and her "obsession" (I guess you could call it) has contributed to me liking her.

Can you enlighten me more Heisenburg, and the people of NoFap?

~Squeaky Soul

 

Well, I broke her heart...

I am not sure if I would like to date her. Her brother and I are friends, and I don't want to make it awkward. We are also in our late teen years, so it's not not she's my last chance or anything.

I basically just told her that her brother and I are friends, so to not get attached to me. Ever since her and I have talked more, I have noticed her brother's attitude change towards me. In addition to the set of rules I am following, I must obey the Bro Code. Bro Code Article 1: Bro's before Ho's.

Anyways, I haven't broken any of my rules. I have slipped away from God a little. I have been staying up late doing homework and practicing skills for an upcoming competition and have been really tired and haven't been doing my normal bed time routine of bible reading and meditation. That's not a good excuse, because there is always time for God.

Thanks,

~Squeaky Soul

 

YEEAAAAAAAAH BROTHER!

Thanks None. Yeah... You and I are both good looking guys. That might sound vain (and it probably is), but being attractive means you most always get attention from da ladies. Hahaha, I know right about now I am going to come off sounding like a jerk, so I apologize.

Plaaaaayaaaaaaa,

~Squeaky Soul

 

I'm going to be honest with you all. These past few weeks, it's been hard getting out of bed in the morning. If it wasn't for my mother chomping at my butt, I probably would stay there all day and fall into a deep abyss of depression.

I been depressed. I really miss my friend. I'm sad that he can't be a part of the competition myself and the team are training for without him.

Last night I listened to a talk done by a preacher/life coach. He was very motivating, and also talked spiritually of what we can do to improve ourselves, and what we can spiritually offer others.

I got a few minutes with him privately, I talked about how I was depressed about losing my friend. He told me that I have to not only be there to support my friends, but let my friends support me.

Anyways, I have been keeping up my nightly Bible reading (Have been since February 2014) and my cold showers. I will be honest again, most of these "cold" showers are usually half hot before I switch to cold. I have heard the switching back from hot and cold water is good for circulation.

Does anyone have any input?

Thanks,

~Squeaky Soul

 

Today was a good day!

I hung out with friends. We went to the market and talked, laughed, and bought some snacks. I got donuts. I also bought some mozzarella and pastrami so i can make some pizza from scratch.

I got some really random and out of the blue urges that really didn't make a lot of sense. Just out of no where. I didn't give in to them.

~SS

 

I hate to disappoint you all, but a few hours into day 9 I relapsed. I was up all night, and it was a few hours before the competition started, I needed to get some shut eye so I PMOed and fell asleep.

I relapsed again a couple of hours ago.

I have been feeling very depressed about my friend that passed away less than two months ago. I feel empty. I feel like not doing anything anymore. I feel like sleeping all day.

~SS

 

Today I broke rule #1. I felt sad, so I went to my bed room and ate like 9 cookies with a glass of milk. After eating all that crap I relapsed.

I took a semi cold shower today too. I m kinda pissed off at that girl who's heart I thought I broke. She still in hot pursuit after me. She's also broadcasting everything I say to her over text to her family. Her brother asked me hw my recent camping trip went and I responded, but I wondered how he new, cuz I never told him about it, haha. During the campout, I burned my arm pretty bad. Her MOM approached me last night when we were hanging out and said, "Mi Hijo ("My Son" in Spanish), how's your arm doing?".........................!!!!

If I wanted your family to know about my life I would tell them. It's no big deal. It's also nothing to worry about. I have PMO to worry about, not some annoying girl, hahaha.

~Squeaking Bowl