Thoughts about being tempted after a few months of successfully ditching pmo....

For Fapstronauts of the Catholic Christian Faith

  1. hillmountain

    hillmountain Fapstronaut

    I'm a Catholic guy, with a former severe addiction(like hours upon hours daily, and inability to quit even for a single day), who has successfully ditched this pmo trash for 3+ months now.... The things that helped me the most were....
    1. Becoming serious about my faith, trying to place God as the top priority in my life, cultivating correct thoughts about sex, women etc..
    2. Going to confession, regular mass, saying the rosary daily with my family, etc
    3. Posting in this forum... Initially, this forum served as a good crutch to divert my thoughts whenever I was tempted, and to refocus that I am meant to avoid pmo, not move toward it...
    4. The great mercy and Love of God towards me, his sinful child..
    5. Some non religious things..

    Today, I saw a triggering image (vanilla one) while surfing the net, and was interested in it... I looked further, and then stopped after reminding myself that this is not how God (the Creator of sex) meant for me to use my sexual desire....

    The good thing was that almost instantly the temptation died out.... In my starting days (when I had just quit pmo for about 3 or 5 days etc) temptation would be nearly unbearable, last for hours even if I resisted the temptation, and it would result in a full blown relapse, and probably days of a binge.... Now, it's extremely small...

    As a man, God created me to be attracted to the female form.... This is a good thing only if we use it in the way God meant for it to be used... These sexual thoughts are meant to strengthen the unbreakable bond between spouses even closer and also to give them the gift of becoming parents also... Porn and related things, which is a base perversion of our God given sex drive, just misleads us sexually, emotionally and spiritually and restricts us from becoming true and holy men of God...

    So everyone will have to be prepared to say no to temptation...... Even if I don't become tempted to watch porn at all in future (which is very likely, consideringthat now I hardly think of porn and today's small temptation was an anomaly in the past few months), there may be temptation in some other form.... I may be tempted towards anger, pride, laziness, lust towards a real woman (who is not my wife) etc.... Better to focus on becoming pure and resisting evil, because we are weak humans who are strong with God's help....

    Another important point to overcoming pmo (and any other addiction) in the long term, is to also overcome any side addictions you might have, like excessive online gaming or browsing the net excessively, or bingeing on non sexual movies.... Such things can be actually helpful in the early stages of quitting porn, as they can divert the mind from wanting to pmo, but as you become stronger against pmo, and put months behind you, such things must be greatly reduced, in order to remove minor tendencies towards addiction...

    Minor addictions, like excessive gaming etc.. in the long term, can actually retard you from becoming fully free of porn and extremely happy... So while you can use them in the short term, ditch them in the long term....
    Tryin' Hard and Nuhope like this.
  2. I do struggle with porn but my big problem is masturbation. I convince myself that the more i resist the stronger the temptation will build up and completely take control of me until I just give in. It's a scary and discouraging thought that makes me cower.
    Nuhope likes this.
  3. Nuhope

    Nuhope Fapstronaut

    That is wrong. It is true that the urge will increase, but only to a certain level and will never take control over you completely. You will get a lot of withdrawal symptoms like fail of concentration, bad sleeping, weak motivation, break into sweat, similiar to drug addiction.
    But the urge will change over time, it is not like taking over you, it is an unsatisfied body trying to cope with this unsatisfied situation, causing this withdrawal symptoms. The best feeling you can have is going through this period, it is sometimes very cold, boring, no-victory-feeling, but it is better. But don't cramp, be self-confident. Just fight, but don't distort you to much. Just fight.
  4. BlankCheck1

    BlankCheck1 Fapstronaut

    Just my personal take, but you are probably correct. You (alone) are too weak to face the temptations. HOWEVER, You with the Trinity, the Blessed Mother, and all the Angels and Saints behind you are strong enough to face any temptation out there.

    For me, when I try to run from the temptations/urges ("Lord, please take this from me!"), they just seem to keep coming back. So I tried to embrace my temptations/urges ("Lord, help me to feel my way through this!"). Yes, it's uncomfortable. Yes, it makes me feel stressed, anxious, frustrated. In a sense, it is a form of suffering. Yet the Lord calls us to bear our crosses. The temptations/urges fade in about 20 mins on average, and stay away for longer than when I run from them.
    Dopamine3 likes this.
  5. This is interesting. I never thought about embracing this struggle as a cross, but I am confused how to do that. I'm not sure how one can embrace a sin. I know that isn't exactly what you are saying but I can only imagine it being something like walking through fire. This may sound childish but I feel that my life is filled with different trials and tribulations that I must overcome with divine help so that I may know peace. Just like when Jesus gifted St. Faustina with the Golden Chastity Belt to protect her from all impure urges. She stated that she couldn't even think of an impure thought no matter how hard she tried.

    And Catherine of Sienna who asked for the grace of fortitude. Jesus said she would receive this after going through a series of tribulations. She was tempted by demons with lustful thoughts for several days but persevered through Christ and received the virtue.

    Of course these are wonderful, victorious times of our beloved saints but I cower at the thought of going through such similar pain to be rewarded a similar grace. Embracing our cross is never pretty, so I urge you to pray for me and my purity in my thoughts and within my body.

    Praise be to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!
    BlankCheck1 likes this.
  6. BlankCheck1

    BlankCheck1 Fapstronaut

    The cross is not the sin, but rather the recovery. The things you describe about St. Catherine are extraordinary, and that's my point. There's two types of healing: ordinary and extraordinary. Let's pretend I have cancer, and I pray to God for help. The ordinary means of healing are medications, chemotherapy, nutrition, etc. The extraordinary means are miraculous; I awake one day and the doctors cannot explain why my cancer is gone. No matter which means of healing occurs, God performed it. He's the source of all healing. No authentic healing occurs without his intervention, even if you don't realize it. In my experience, for years I prayed, expecting an extraordinary healing. There's nothing wrong with such an approach, because God occasionally does perform such extraordinary healings. But more often than not, his healings are ordinary. When I realized this, I started to make more progress. I also grew closer to God because I quit thinking the lack of extraordinary healing meant that somehow He abandoned me, was punishing me, etc.
  7. Yes! You are right. I expect these miraculous interventions and when I do not receive the ultimate relief from temptations I feel that he is not answering my prayers. I have gotten very angry about this. I've felt that rosary after rosary isn't enough. I think of the passage 'Ask and you shall receive." I feel that I have received periods of relief but sometimes lust takes over me like a storm and I become weak and fail. I wrongfully blame it on GOD for not protecting me against a ferocious temptation. But even with all this I still have much hope it will end.
  8. BlankCheck1

    BlankCheck1 Fapstronaut

    With God's grace, it will end! But HOW will it end is the question. "Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger people." ~Blessed Solanus Casey

    PS - remember this is all my personal take on these topics developped over 20+ years. I don't necessarily believe this is the one-size-fits-all path for everyone.

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