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What to do after rebooting? Help please

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fenix Rising, Feb 21, 2018.

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  1. Feb 21, 2018 #1
    Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Hi Fapstronauts,

    I'd like to ask you what did you do after achieving your reboot goal. Please don't talk what should we do in theory, but hard facts, how did you cope with it. I don't want to be rude, but people telling me to just keep going after 90 days of no sex/ no PMO, are not addressing the question. I don't believe man can live without sex or MB for long time and not develop some kind of twisted compensation for it. Hell, even most priests under celibacy vow do MB from time to time.

    I'm asking because I failed twice before after being 90-100 days on hardmode. Without having chance of sex both times, I tried to get a quick release without P, which resulted in the worst bingle MB steaks imaginable. I don't want to repeat same mistakes the third time. I obviously can't MB anymore, two decades of compulsive MB has been too much. It's like being an alcoholic for 20 years and then try to become a social drinker after 100 days of abstinence. It's not gonna happen. Why would we be any different?

    So what did you do after 90 days of no sex / no PMO and no sex partner on horizon?
     
    Fenix Rising, Feb 21, 2018
    Fenix Rising, Feb 21, 2018
    #1
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Feb 21, 2018 #2
    bestdecisionever

    bestdecisionever New Fapstronaut

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    Take time to appreciate your achievement..it sounds like it wasn't easy. Let it sink in that you have done something good for yourself for 90 days. Find something to be busy with... something that will make it easier to believe in what you are doing to make your life everything you want it to be..
     
    bestdecisionever, Feb 21, 2018
    bestdecisionever, Feb 21, 2018
    #2
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  3. Feb 21, 2018 #3
    Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    It has been the hardest reboot I have experienced. I've had severe headaches, feeling ill, depression, anxiety... I'd expect, with more experience, each reboot would be easier, but it was/still is the opposite.
     
    Fenix Rising, Feb 21, 2018
    Fenix Rising, Feb 21, 2018
    #3
  4. Feb 21, 2018 #4
    Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Can you tell me, what was your goal and how are you coping now, with goal met? Thanks
     
    Fenix Rising, Feb 21, 2018
    Fenix Rising, Feb 21, 2018
    #4
  5. Feb 21, 2018 #5
    Hufflekid

    Hufflekid Fapstronaut

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    I was just on a thread yesterday where the discussion was about 90 days being an outdated number as most people are addicted enough to need about a year. I've relapsed after 90 days before and I think that sounds about right. You wouldn't tell an alcoholic to have a shot here and there after abstaining for 90 days.

    To me, it seems like you need to re-frame. Men can certainly go a very long time without sex or masturbation, but it's really about your mindset. If you choose to see sex/MB/porn/etc as taboo, dirty or some sort of uncontrollable biological need then, of course, you're going to overindulge in it. I deliberately choose to see sex not as something I must have but instead a beautiful way of connecting with another person or partner when the opportunity arises.

    As for MB and Porn, they're not exactly doing much for you. Your body will take care of itself via a wet dream and we all know too well that once you release, you'll want to do it again and again and again. For me, keeping my reasons for abstaining from PMO in my daily affirmations has helped a ton and allowed me to truly change my relationship with sexuality.
     
    Hufflekid, Feb 21, 2018
    Hufflekid, Feb 21, 2018
    #5
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  6. Feb 21, 2018 #6
    Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I don't believe healthy human body was designed to go without sex for a long period of time. I can feel my T levels are too high, making me itchy and more aggressive. I tried to lower it by exercising and yoga, but didn't succeed. I have abnormal growth of body hair during 'hard mode'. This isn't normal. I believe healthy thing for body would be regular sex and no MB/porn.
     
    Fenix Rising, Feb 21, 2018
    Fenix Rising, Feb 21, 2018
    #6
  7. Feb 21, 2018 #7
    Hufflekid

    Hufflekid Fapstronaut

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    It sounds to me like something is out of wack. Many go for years with no PM (and O outside of sex) and do alright. With a good diet and sleep the body should be able to keep things in-check on it's own.
     
    Hufflekid, Feb 21, 2018
    Hufflekid, Feb 21, 2018
    #7
  8. Feb 21, 2018 #8
    Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I partially agree, but don't believe you can go without orgasm/sex for extended periods of time (years or decades) in your twenties, thirties and stay mentally OK. Also daily bingle mb for years and then going cold turkey is a shock for body's hormon levels. Suddenly body produces less dopamine, less oxytocin, and lots of testosterone... I have a few chatolic priest friends and all told me that they do mb from time to time. Total abstinence for decades can lead to all kind of frustrations, even deviations. Those were their own observations, not mine.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2018
    Fenix Rising, Feb 21, 2018
    Fenix Rising, Feb 21, 2018
    #8
  9. Feb 21, 2018 #9
    Hufflekid

    Hufflekid Fapstronaut

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    I think we're in agreement. Many people who do Nofap for multiple years report having a healthy sex life without individual PM. I would imagine at least short-term the body can handle itself, with the goal being to ultimately to have a steady partner (or MB practice if that's not possible).
     
    Hufflekid, Feb 21, 2018
    Hufflekid, Feb 21, 2018
    #9
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