Why today is the most important day of my life?

Despite the title of this thread, today was actually quite a shitty day.

I woke up feeling tired, got back to sleep. Woke up again one hour late, but I was sleepy. Still in bed, not even able to get out of it, I relapsed. Finally stood up, didn't pray or meditate, prepared breakfast, but waking up late wouldn't allow me to train in the morning. Maybe later...

I was not the only person that didn't accomplish schedules, and late people tend to get nervous. After some discussion about appointments, I had to wait for my class, but there was time to relapse again, for the second time.

Talking about schedules, I got late for my lesson. My energy was already low, way different than the last few weeks when I was absolutely excited for getting into college after years of effort, super confident, exhaling my hapiness to the environment. My teacher and classmates realized something was wrong, but there wasn't much I could do to feel better.

I met my psychologist right after that and told her about the difference in my mood after the relapse I had last night before going to sleep. She knew how confident and happy I was during the last month, and it wasn't that hard to see I was now bothered with something. Maybe something was gone, some feeling, some aura.

After that, I had some free time. Badly spent time. Time I should be spending to study and do my homework, to discover new things. From now on, I don't really know how many times I've relapsed. Instead of watching a regular porn video, I decided to go to forums, wasting much more time than average. Ohh, and I didn't train. Maybe tomorrow then?

I was supposed to have a test at 6 p.m. I can start studying at 2 o'clock. Hmm, but it's already almost 3. I started studying 2 hours before a test I luckly didn't have to do today. When the class was gone...

And basically, that was my night. To finish the day, I decided to forget my diet and eat all kinds of shit I was able to in my kitchen. I ate hamburger, chocolate, ice cream after masturbating roughly 10 times in a day. Tired, didn't do my exercise, didn't study, didn't eat well, spent the day fapping and now I'm feeling exhausted. So, why the hell today is today the most important day of my life???

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Well, when I say that, I don't mean especifically today, September 14th. 24 hours ago, it was the 13th. Tomorrow, the most important day will be tomorrow. It's just because it's the day I am now, and it's the day that is under my control and I can do whatever I want with it. I just can't let something else control me.

On one hand, the bad days that scared me, no matter how terrible they were, are gone, and I can make today be different.

On the other hand, the good days I cultivated are gone too, and I am the only one who can change things and make today be different from them.

As the future is still unknown and untouchable, the only thing is under my control is also the most important day I have left.

So, besides the bad things I have done today, it's already past, almost yesterday. I won't decide to stand up someday, maybe next week, I DECIDE TO RECOVER RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!

I have important things for my future, great oportunities, so I make the choice to do the right thing, not the easy one. As soon as I press Enter, I will remove the trash, clean my table, take a shower, brush my teeth, lie down to sleep and get prepared for the best day of my life!

You're more than invited to do the same.
Thank you for reading all this!

Best Regard,
Stitch 626

OHANA!!!