Why we do what we do and how to change...

LastingChangeCreator

Moderator Assistant
PMO is a bad habit. Habit, after all, is simply when our brain launches into a preprogrammed 'zombie mode'.
Habits have four parts:
1. The Cue: This is the 'trigger' that launches you into 'zombie mode'. Recognize what launches you into your zombie mode(aroused mode). Cues usually fall into one of the following categories: location, time, how you feel, reactions to other people, or something just happened. Do you look something up on the youtube when you are alone and then find yourself masturbating? Do Instagram pictures make you feel aroused? If yes, then develop new cues. Don't use the internet when you are alone. Use Instagram only when you are in a public place. A cue can neither helpful nor harmful. It's the routine or the reaction to that cue that matters the most.

2.The Routine: Once you find out what triggers you to masturbate, you can make changes. You can remove most of the cues but sometimes you will unintentionally watch some sensual images or read something that will arouse you. Then you can change your reaction towards that cue. For eg. You know you watch porn after the dinner( you've identified the cue), you can reshape your reaction to that cue by switching off your phone and laptop before going to dinner. Or when you feel aroused, you will come on nofap community and write about your feelings, emotions and your goals( as I am doing now).

3. The Reward: This sometimes requires investigation. Why are you masturbating? It may be for a sexual pleasure. Or as a reward when you worked so hard whole the day. The best thing you can change your rewards.
Let's say I feel aroused and I came here and wrote about my feelings and emotions on nofap community instead of watching porn and masturbating, then I am reacting to the same cue differently by changing my routine. But the reward that I am getting is almost the same. I will get likes, support from other people and it will also create a sense of satisfaction as well.

4. The Belief: The most important part of changing an extremely addictive habit like masturbation is the belief that you fight it. You may find that when the going gets stressful, you long to fall back into old, more comfortable habits. The belief that your new system works is what can get you through. Developing an encouraging culture with like-minded friends can help us remember the value that, in moments of weakness, we tend to forget. All it takes a one bad day to turn back to our original bad habit of masturbation. But if we believe in our system and our values we can fight the temptation. The belief can be made by being with the people who have the same goal as you have, by sharing your struggles, your weaknesses with them. This is how belief can be created.
For eg. If I have a very bad day at work or I feel aroused due to some reason and I think nothing is working out to get rid of that temptation, I just imagine about the guys who are PMO free for years. I think where I am now and where I want to reach. And that mental contrasting works most of the time.
This is what I wanted share with you guys.
Make your life a masterpiece!
 
Great thread. Have you had much success using this process?
This method works for most of the time but everything seems to fall apart on a bad day. That's where belief is necessary. When I see someone like you who has completed 101 days without PMO, it gives me the motivation to work harder. I think a change becomes permanent when we are surrounded by people who are also driven by the same goal.
 
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