well, he relapsed... today... 4 hours ago. he downloaded apps so he could access it... i asked him about the downloads and if he watched P today. he said yes and then said "you couldn't wait to ask me huh". granted, he is at work, but that's not something i can just keep inside until who knows when. i'm shaking, i'm sick to my stomach. has he been hiding it this whole time again? we JUST talked about it and he told he was fine and didn't have any issues cause the sex has been more frequent. i'm dying inside right now... what do i do? how do i talk about this with him? we haven't made any lists yet, i'm too scared to bring them up to him. i'm too scared to follow through w/ consequences. please help me. :'(
how can i motivate him to find one? i have told him this... he knows... he's not motivated... he comes on here once in a while, but not active... just reads... i'm more serious about this than he is... he just texted me and said "it's my guilt... i will deal with it." what does that mean? deal with it? ugh... i hate this... things were going so well... sigh...
Is there a church nearby? Mutual friend? Be Broken Ministries? In his defense, good APs are hard to find. He needs to ask about 10 to get about 2. I still message all 10 of mine even when they don't respond. It helps me. Motivation? Half comes from your APs, the other half comes from the healthy habits he established and religiously adheres to. The motivation will create itself.
we're not church going people... and his friends are all douchebags and cheat on their women and laugh when my bf reached out to them... i don't have friends. we don't have the funds to go have a life as i'm the sole earner right now... he is barely just starting a job, but that started yesterday and ends today... he's looked for meetings, but no car, no bus money... we're in this vicious cycle...
Dont be. He should also have outlets to help. If he wants the help, he should have access. And if he's mad you tried to help, well then he should be doing more so that you don't feel like you have to.
he doesn't have other outlets... he has downloaded apps and stuff, but it's the keeping up with them.
All up to you. And if nothing seems to be working, I say throw everything out and try something else. I've done it a time or two... And not just with this. Sometimes something just doesn't work and if you want to make something (someone) work, it's back to the drawing board.
Tell your man I'm happy to help also. I have more to say for you as well, but can't right now. Sorry for this bad time.
well, i just tried to have the smallest conversation with him about it. i waited until we were both alone to make sure that the conversation could be had with "ease". i wanted to talk about it because i just wanted to know why and if he's been hiding it from me still. he snapped at me and made me feel like i was at fault. i said that it wasn't fair for him to talk to me with such attitude and he gets upset when i do the same thing. he said that he had an urge and watched all of a minute and then MO... if he's been fighting his urges this whole time then why give in now? he said he got bored... that's all... but to download multiple apps to find what he wanted? i forgot he switched phones so now that one has all the restrictions... who knows if they work... he never will let us have a conversation... it turns into a fight... which is why i just wanted to get it over with cause i didn't want to do it at home... i feel disrespected. sorry for rambling... i just let my thumbs go. haha...
now i don't have patience and bitch at everything he does. he's so fucking mad right now. what did i do??? "No dude fuck you you wonder why I don't fucking tell you shit cuz you always make a fucking big ass God damn when dealing every fucking thing there is"... his words...
i do everything i can to give him praise and show him he's capable... but he doesn't see it... why am i even wasting my time? everything is always my fault because i'm the one that wants to "talk"... how do we fix things if there's no "talking"?
It's because you are trying to stop his precious thing. Walk away. At least right now. It's too hot. You got kids?
no, no kids... we just live together and he'll be homeless... i can't do that to someone... i'm stuck