Hang in there, you are not alone out there. Remember that PMO wont give you any long term satisfaction, only artificial quick fix and you your self are the only one paying the price for it
Okay so today I relapsed. It's crazy. I was at home alone listening to Eminem's Encore album and I've been dealing with plenty of urges but the urge to look up pornographic pictures overcame me and I just went down a huge rabbit hole and eventually I was just like "fuck it" and I jacked off. I'ma try this again.
I'm drowning in guilt and I never want to feel this pain again. I had an 18 days streak... and now it's all gone. I don't want this pain anymore. I don't want to let everyone down. I let God down, I let my family down, I let my significant other down and I let myself down. I deserve better. I couldn't finish this challenge, but I will get this challenge down. I relapsed... and a huge part of it was because of my spiritual health was really low. I'm going to do it. I don't want to feel this. I was so close, and now it's all so gone. But I'm going to complete this challenge... and I'm going to keep on going even after. This time inshAllah. Day 0/14. Each day I'm going to come back...write some of my thoughts down and re-wire my brain. This filth is disgusting. I'm not going down this hell and I won't let the devil take me back in. I'm done.
1/14 After school I cooked a good meal . In the afternoons was watching cartoons, at night played fifa 19 demo
Day 11/14 Got nasty wet dream today, tho. I've dreamt about watching P and M, then after O I felt such regret and woke up. Thanks God it was only a dream I really felt like shit but not anymore
You are right. You did really well in 18 long days. So just one relapse doesn't affect much. Start... No, my mistake, you are progressing, not starting over. Keep going. We know that you can do this. Good luck in your next streak.