This is my life also to the T. As I continue my nofap journey, I become less demanding, a nicer guy with more love to give. Thanks for sharing risetogreatness.
Start Date: Jan 25, 2019 Day 105/108 no PM (relapsed day 51, 70, 102) Day 6/90 consecutive no PM Day 108 no alcohol or caffeine Day 76 weight training Day 9 meditation - feeling good with strong resolve to abstain from PMO as well as alcohol and caffeine still ... however.. - biggest dilemma I am facing now and which kept me up half the night is whether to continue abstaining from alcohol and caffeine when I am on holiday next month - hot summer weather, favourite drinking spots (where I can get ESB - extra special bitter) and certain people (mom and friends) whom I will be visiting can be a trigger for me to want to drink - if I cave to drinking I will likely also cave to caffeine which is also bad for my prostate (BPH) - of course it would be in moderation (1 to 3 max) as that's all my prostate can handle before it wants to stop allowing me to pee easily - luckily I have medication now to help with that problem though - I am also worried as drinking can lead to PMO (one vice leads to another kind of mentality) especially if I get carried away and drink too much (more than 3) - I'd appreciate any advice or insights anyone has on what I should while on holiday - thanks so much, have a great fapfree day everyone
I'm a bit more conservative, and I would say it's best to not drink alcohol or caffeine. You dont want your old habits to live on in who you are when you are with your past relationships. That is developing a compartment in your head where you can put your addictions, and it can easily grow outside that compartment. My advice isn't new agey, but it might sound like it. Bring some caffeine free soda on holiday (Sprite or rootbeer) and drink that instead of alcohol or caffeine. If I want to be healthier, bring some tea instead. Starting NOW before you go, visualize with as much detail as you can every single situation that you will be tempted to drink. Now visualize yourself reaching for your tea instead, and visualize yourself feeling deeply satisfied by drinking the tea. Caution: many teams have caffeine.
yep, that´s a common error. i see that i´m my past behaviour and the behaviour of other fapstronauts. the mind may say it´s a test by watching nudes, but it´s not, it´s still the old addicted mind playing tricks. it´s seduzing you to watch and then trap you in a corner.
yeah, usually when all seems fine, maybe it´s just the flatline talking. watch out. i think only when we feel sexual aliveness but have no desire to PMO that´s a solid proof that the reboot is working
good coincidence Fredi. i abstained from alcohol in the first 40 days of this streak. now i only drink in my normal pattern: at weekends in the meals - 1 dose (beer or wine). my brain is healing because this quantity doesn´t makes me dizzy while in heavy PMO days if i drank 1 beer i immediatly felt foggy. however i feel that even a small quantity of alcohol drops the willpower significantly, if you recall one of my late posts where i was talking about peaking and then in the final moment i searched for hip-hop. my hesitation was after a glass of wine. So if 1 dose of wine can make me hesitant, imagine 2.... i write it down on my mobile: only 1 dose, at meals. this does not means that i will never get drunk party, but in the present moment of my life, in the reboot, no. it´s extremely dangerous. plus excessive alcohol prevents the brain from rewiring since alcohol messes up with the dopamine circuits. my advice is: a quantity yes, but small, and never in empty stomach.
52 good day today, some erotic thoughts pop up that caught me for some seconds, but i snap out of it. i remind myself: the fantasy´s, the desires, the lust, is still part of the sickness.
Day 90 13.05.2019 I know it`s a long text, I would really appreciate if you read it. If you`re not interested, it`s also ok. I know how hard it is to read a long message xD 90 days without PMO. Puh, I`m uh a bit happy! But only a bit. Ok, where should I start... At first, I feel very better then masturbating or looking at porn. I am focused, got more energy, got more self-confidence. I mean, I play really much guitar in last time. Earlier it was just only one or two times a week and that in my music school. Today, I play it often. I try to at least everyday for minimum 5 min. or 5 time per week. I finally 'cleaned' my life, for example I choose those hobbies that I want, I filtered my friends into real friends or fake 'friends' and I changed my nutrition into a healthier way then earlier. Less fast food, more rice or something. Or I tried new stuff: new music (lofi), be more social active with friends, try a new sport, buying stuff where I earlier ,where I watched active porn, thought: "DUDE the fuck you doing? No matter that you`re still a virgin!". Yep, earlier that hurted me to hear that (still a bit). But now I think, we got other problems we should care more. Of course there are sometimes/often thoughts like "No matter that others think you`re weird" or "still single, you flannel". But I`m waiting for the right one. One where I know I can live with her forever! Hoping I will find her soon... And yep, I still got sometimes those feelings that I need other opinions, for example: I bought the last days an Anime-figure in an online shop. I never had such a thing and I just want one, because I like animes. So if I would tell this to some of my 'friends', they would probably say: "You're joking, or?? What a weeb/otaku/nerd/loser/whatever!". I just don't want to hear at others and most important I dont want to make thoughts about what others could thinking about me! I just want to be me. I just want to go my way. I just want to give a fuck what others thinking about me! Unfortunately, sometimes in those 90 days, I looked at some half-naked girls, I'm sorry I couldn`t make it real clean. There was also one day (it was really late, 2 or 3am in the morning) where I looked a lesbian sex scene. But thank god I didn`t masturbated! I just watched it, was a bit excited, then went sleep. Even writing about this makes me a bit horny. Oh dear.... Alright, what can I say next? 90 days... it`s only a number. At first I thought if I would beat this challenge, I will be the next super-killer-machine ever, who gots a girlfriend, friendship, everything! Yup, no. Like I said it`s only a number, and in those days you should do something in your life to avoid fapping! That`s the sense of NoFap!! To build up yourself to a better person! But I must say the day-counter was a BIG help and motivation for me. Maybe I beat this challenge, but my journey is not over! I will still fight against porn AND against those urges. One day, I, we will stay on the top, look back what we did and are proud of us. And if I can do this, you can do this definitely! Remember the beginning is the hardest way, keep fighting!! I believe in you : D You're still reading? Wow, incredible. Never thought that someone is interested to this... Alright, I guess I wrote enough, and if my English is too bad, well fuck you. As I told to myself I don`t care what others are thinking about me ; ) (At least I`m trying it) ^^
