Thanks, brother! You are right. I have doubts about some stuff, but, I guess, deep down I still believe that nofap is an important quest in my life. I wish you success on your road too!
Day 73 - Warrior Here if you want to comment Fellowship about this. Keeping this brief. Missed jury duty + urges (medium - high urges) because of this I was considering a relapse. Yeah, it would have been due to frustration because if I don't follow up on my missed jury duty then I have to pay fine of $1500 or possibly jail time if I don't pay. Urges came from fantasizing about some woman and fasting as well. That's it. Amazing, how I would resort to that if I wasn't strong enough. Fighting and holding on. What a strange way to end a streak due to frustration if it did happen. That's it.
sadly a relapse on sunday... So today is Day 2 again.. I felt very numb after the relapse and wasted way too much time and energy on that. BUT I wrote down every single thing that (I think lead to the weakness of relapsing and becoming ill) I will change a lot now... I want to delete all unnecessary data from my computer maybe the browser as well (If I delete browser that means I wont show up here constantly, I will only using laptop while Im at library then). I wanna save settings for later but NOW there are the reasons that should be eliminated: 1) feeling ill (reasons for being ill are: too much work, too less relaxing times, too much meat (Im meat hungry after workouts but too much means not 4-5 days a week only 1-2 ) 2) too much time on the computer, not enough focus due to old patterns -> Youtube ads old desktop links I dont need anymore-->DELETE I want to built a very cut out user interface... my computer should be only important for two reasons now: Writing and making/editing (recording) music. So everything else should be done when Im NOT in my room (because I only relapse in my room lol)^^ BUT writing on Computer ALSO only if absolutely necessary (wanna extract all important files on paper/have already done more than a half of this) its work in progress 3) Iwas woking quite a lot and have multiple challenges going on. After work I go to university or library to write and stay focused, after that I went to workout after that cooking then eating sleeping...Barely had time to breathe ... I forget to socialize (or ddnt take the time for that) -> so I wanna at least meet friends once a week and call family /visit more. 4) I have two jobs + study + very time hungry hobbies, if I dont do my hobbies I feel numb, if I work too much I feel tired - if Im tired I have no energy left for other important things. Maybe I need to cut out sth. I cant reach evrything I want like this.
Thanks bro, its because of u guys i wont feel like i m alone, I m happy that u r keep going and keeping ur support with me too. Thanks for being with me man lets do it...together.
I think brother, It's unintentional situation. So it doesn't feel like a relaspe. you don't want to reset your streak. Don't overthink about that brother. Be careful brother!
Thank you @Baki Hanma & @Reghu , I knew this guy prob had a stash so should have been more vigilant but I started the task in a cloudy state of depression and just left the light of vigilance switched off, so there was some wilful negligence involved. However, I'm not going to make a decision on resetting until next week after the urges from this trigger subside. If I reset now i'm asking for trouble.
Day 1 completed, I tried motivate my self by reading journal of @Baki Hanma and i wanted to thank u my brother as ur journal had gaven me some answers and dose motivate me a lot...thanks man and keep Improving.
Checking in Fellowship Friend's! 11 day Free of PMO. Stay Strong! @Paul S. Thank you brother! @LZR Of course brother, we are a fellowship! We have a common enemy, and as you said we will do this together and we will get through this.
55 days - You reached Amon Hen, a hill above the western banks of the Anduin. By royal decree, you´re a Warrior of Gondor now!
1 day My cold is gone and I'm back on my bike. Brothers, here is wikipedia on cardio as addiction treatment: Consistent aerobic exercise, especially endurance exercise (e.g., marathon running), prevents the development of certain drug addictions and is an effective adjunct treatment for drug addiction, and for psychostimulant addiction in particular.[23][156][157][158][159] Consistent aerobic exercise magnitude-dependently (i.e., by duration and intensity) reduces drug addiction risk, which appears to occur through the reversal of drug induced addiction-related neuroplasticity.[23][157] Exercise may prevent the development of drug addiction by altering ΔFosB or c-Fos immunoreactivity in the striatum or other parts of the reward system.[159] Aerobic exercise decreases drug self-administration, reduces the likelihood of relapse, and induces opposite effects on striatal dopamine receptor D2 (DRD2) signaling (increased DRD2 density) to those induced by addictions to several drug classes (decreased DRD2 density).[23][157] Consequently, consistent aerobic exercise may lead to better treatment outcomes when used as an adjunct treatment for drug addiction.[23][157][158]
Brother, I can say that cardio is a great alternative to appease urges. I used to think that to reduce PMO withdrawal it was necessary for me to do activities that would give me a dopamine rush in a simple way: play video games, eat food high in fat or sugar, etc. But one day I tried to attack urges by doing the cardio routine that I usually do. And wow, my lewd thoughts completely vanished. I recommend it to everyone: get some exercise when you feel like PMO. You won't regret it.