9/90 To be reminded daily that I'm addicted to PMO is useful for me to stay on track, once i get busy with life and forget the fact that I'm an addicted to PMO it's easy to slip and relapse.
I slipped again, looking at some of the same videos from yesterday. This is a very common thing for me: I come across some material that excited and I get obsessed by it, revisiting it again and again for days, sometimes months or even years. I had a rut like this a month ago and now I'm in one again. I have to stop it right here. And I know what the problem is. Somehow in my brain going back to something I saw recently feels less like a bad thing than searching for something new. But this doesn't make sense and I have to rewire my brain in this. Also, I'm still taking the day count too seriously. I know this is a mistake but I still put a lot of pressure on that and I allow myself to wallow in selfpity that my streaks are always too short. And then on a day like yesterday, I make a mistake halfway during the day, and then I think the day is lost anyway so I might as well peek again. This doesn't make sense and I have to stop thinking like that. So, this is not a wasted day at all. I'm gonna enjoy a peaceful, productive and wholesome rest of my day and not look back.
Day 1. Made it to 30+ days twice in a row... I know I need to keep with my routine and add to it as well. I'll begin putting my phone away @ 9pm every night. I get tempted when I'm tired, so I need to stay ahead of that. It's also exactly 90 days until my anniversary. So, if that's my motivation - that's always been my motivation to be a better man for my family.
I realised there are 3 lies that I tell myself all the time. And every time I tell myself these lies, I'm setting myself up to do PM(O). 1. I'm a piece of shit 2. Female bodies are a source of happiness 3. Going online is a way of escaping the reality that I'm in As long as I keep telling myself these lies, I will fail at quitting my addiction. I have to stop believing these things. If I manage to stop believing in 1 or 2 of them, I might be able not to do PM(O) anymore, but I'd just redirect the addictive behavior to something new. So, as of today, on top of my Distractions Diary, I started a small diary in which I write down these 3 lies every day. And I will not stop doing this until I reach a streak of 90 clean days.
Day 4/90 Had an morning workout and cold shower. Energy level is up a bit already - looking forward to what is to come
Day 19/90 Day 544 at attempting this challenge Day 187 weigh training (M, W, F) Day 58 No caffeine and no alcohol Lifestyle: reduced desserts
day 1 here ;; no urges today but many bad thoughts came in my mind today about last porn videos which i watched in past ;;; i am really struggling between the words urges and thoughts as someone told me that i should not run away from urges and i must face them but is that same with thoughts as i didn't ran away from thoughts and i ruined my streak as i think thoughts are bit different from urges as if we got deep into thoughts and think about them more , there is high chances of danger and relapse ;; whether if we go deep into urges and analyse themes away from us ;;; so what should i do in these both different situation ; if i am wrong here then please correct me as i am not doing good as i relapsed thrice thin last 5 days after 21 day streak as i am not able to differentiate b/w thoughts and urges ;; and sometimes fell in that evil loop of relapse ;; i really need some help and advise
Day 3 of 90. Yesterday was day 3. I had some pretty strong urges when I got off work in the morning. Luckily I was tired enough to just go to sleep. After I got up I was fine for the day. Day 4 of 90. Today is day 4. Once again this morning my urges were very strong. I started thinking about it before I got off work and even more so when I got home from work at 7. I left my phone in the kitchen so I wouldn't easily have access to it then laid down for awhile. I have been fine since I woke up. Lately when I am super tired from working third shift the urges get intense. So far being tired, alone, and bored have been the time the urges get the worst. I am still trying to figure out ways to overcome the urges when they get bad, wish I could just get it off my mind but it seems to take over.
Day 90 completed finally People in this forum are really great . Keep posting real good motivation videos and posts . Highly commendable. On to next challenge as working on something . We'll meet you guyzz there . If I could do you can easily do . Start meditating . It will teach you to acknowledge the urges and let pass it rather than reacting to it . As urges will definitely come once in a while . You just have to boost your mental strength and meditation will do that . I am yet working on wet dreams but I think I make out to avoid that too . Just on experimentation now . By that experiment I was able to go from 2-3 per week to a streak of 15 days . My next target of pmo is 200 days and wet dreams 30 days . All the best guyzz