6/90- A very good for me today. Not as productive as I would like it to be as I have to overcome the fact I had a very slow weekend! August Challenge (August 22nd) Wake up at 6am or earlier: 16/31 Take a Cold Shower Daily: 11/31 No YouTube: 11/31 No social media (Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Reddit e.t.c): 20/31 No using my phone in bed: 0/31 Read at least 4 books: Book 1 [12 Week Year: Finished reading]; Book 2[15 Invaluable Laws of Growth: 31% Complete]; Book 3[Seneca on the Shortness of Life: Page 14]; Book 4[Born a Crime: Page 7] Run 50 KM: 31.12 KM (+1.84) Software/Web Development Learning (120 hours in aggregate minimum): 26 hrs 35 mins 3000 pushups: 560 5000 ab crunches (Different Variations): 780 2000 air squats: 370 Complete Workshop at recoverynation.com: Lesson 53 of 73
2/90. Wasn’t able to sleep during the night around travel, so I slept on and off the during and crashed for several hours in the evening. I woke up aroused and compulsively started to masturbate, but stopped after ~10 minutes. I can work on being more organized (e.g. consistently setting alarms for naps) to reduce this moments.
That was the height of my power for sure. Since then I've struggled a long time, but I'm not quitting. PM me if you want some info about what I did/am doing to defeat toxic shame one little piece at a time.
Day 3 I got a new hat. I was rocking this gross, stained Honda ballcap my dad gave me (even though I don't care about cars) and finally replaced it with a new cap. I've certainly had urges today, but that's going to be every day for awhile. I've fought off much worse, but I have a fear that I won't get it done once again this time and relapse eventually. I just wanna be done with this lifestyle I've been living. I've also decided that I gotta stop eating junk food. I was going to deal with this as probably my next 90 day challenge after nofap, but I really don't think I can afford to be eating junk right now especially in the amounts I've been craving. It never keeps me full long, is bad for you and can get expensive if you're eating it every day.
3/90. Today has been good so far, no intrusive thoughts or urges. Talking to a therapist recently was helpful. Looking forward to continuing this momentum.
7/90- Another low productivity day but I have generally been happy. Also, I am happy that I have stayed away from Instagram and other social networking sites for most of the month. August Challenge (August 23nd) Wake up at 6am or earlier: 17/31 Take a Cold Shower Daily: 11/31 No YouTube: 11/31 No social media (Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Reddit e.t.c): 21/31 No using my phone in bed: 0/31 Read at least 4 books: Book 1 [12 Week Year: Finished reading]; Book 2[15 Invaluable Laws of Growth: 35% Complete]; Book 3[Seneca on the Shortness of Life: Page 14]; Book 4[Born a Crime: Page 7] Run 50 KM: 31.12 KM Software/Web Development Learning (120 hours in aggregate minimum): 27 hrs 35 mins 3000 pushups: 610 (+50) 5000 ab crunches (Different Variations): 920 (+140) 2000 air squats: 420 (+50) Complete Workshop at recoverynation.com: Lesson 54 of 73
Day 4 I went to a local club for people who have battled mental illness that I used to go to. I thought it'd be a good entry point to socializing a bit. Definitely felt a certain amount of social anxiety, but it wasn't that bad. A good start. I ended up falling asleep during the day though, which I want to avoid in the future. I hope it doesn't throw off my ability to sleep tonight too much.