Tired of reaching out to people who don't care

A lot of things to say about your history, but I'm really curious about this one:

I think most people around here, and I include myself, never experienced being trully social before. Something really bad happen to you to grow this depression in your life?

 

These are things I never talk to anyone, plus the classic "Everything gonna be okay" which is a huge lie and I hate. Instead, like a person who really enjoy to listen to people's problems, I prefer to ask more about the problem to try to understand more about or I just shut the fuck up to not talk shit. Sometimes, I think my silence is an inconvinient. What we should say, really? Here we all know, somehow, what depression/anxiety is but even so, sometimes I dont know what to say to another person who have it too.

 

Child you do suffer from depression. I know because I have clinical/major depression. I know what its like to be the "most popular" kid and all of a sudden be the most quietest person in the planet. To the point where I was literally invisible. You are having symptoms of depersonalization; a byproduct of depression. Not just that but hoplessness, worthlessness, etc. I want to truly help you, you are in pain, and the first thing you should do is see a "serious" psychiatrist. Then in conjunction with that ( what I do) stop using any drugs/alcohol, stop PMOing, exercise more, eat right, sleep right, and try meditation. Meditation puts me in such a "clear headed" mindframe that I am at peace for a couple of hours until I have to do it again to get that mindframe again. Remember this is coming from a person like yourself, so I KNOW you MIGHT ignore some of this and try to do it your way. I truely hope you try this out. Oh, and another thing, dont expect for any of this to work the first week or second week, no,no,no. It will take serious dedication. I hope you find your way, good luck!

 

Okay, I just have to point out, I think possibly again because I think I vaguely remember responding to one of your first posts about your dad that some old school, traditional values often = simplistic understanding of the human condition. SO simplistic, in fact that it's little different from religious extremists in my view.

And in my experience it isn't as if they actually understood much about the actual values of some of the deep thinkers from their past, what they have is effectively a kind of cultural egotism. And of course, dumbass statements like "it's all in your head" is so dumbed down that it is cross cultural, but not in any deep meaningful sense - it's just so simplistic that it's like the stereotypical American redneck, their dipshit simple truth view is pretty much the same across cultures and socioeconomic strata.

These people have no wisdom to impart, it's a mistake to consider them elders capable of any sort of significant mentorship. I don't give a shit if they are related to me, they take their position as a kind of entitlement which I consider empty because their mental processes have little substance as far as I'm concerned. I no longer expect anything from them at all.

Now YMMV, sorry to go off on your thread but from what you've said I suspect there are a lot of similarities so take it for whatever it's worth. We obviously have a lot of differences too, and while I don't blame my family for their ignorance I sure as fuck am not going to pretend it's wisdom and no, I do not need their love, actually.

 

I used to be suicidal. I no longer am. I’ll be blunt. There is nothing wrong with the person you’re ashamed of. Nor is there a need to be ashamed of feeling ashamed... If there are things about yourself you want to change, you have every right to do so. Be yourself even if being yourself is changing yourself. There is; however, something wrong with suicide. I’ll continue to be blunt. My father committed suicide, but if he had waited he’d have experienced more happiness and sadness. He’d have also gotten to find out who he was. We’ll all get thrown off the roller coaster someday. I hope you stay and enjoy the ride with us until that happens.

 

There is at least some truth in these 2 affirmation. The second one is obvious, you can always find someone worse off.

The first one is the important one. If you could be doing more to socialize or improve, and for whatever reasons you do not do it - you miss out on great value and opportunities.

 

For my experience, this two sequences doesn't work at all.

The first one it's obvious as it is. A person who suffers from some social condition already knows that. Repeat the obvious doesn't help (at least for me) ans sometime, pisses the shit out. What to do, so? Invite this person to go out in something he/she likes, give some alternatives... attitudes and options are different from repeating what is under someone's nose.

The second one, this is praising the tragedy from others, that's too much of "better for me if someone is screwed" for me. And even worse, the opposite can happen too: I don't want to be a reference of failure and relief to other persons feel a little better. Comparisons aren't cool at all, mainly from this negative perspective.

~my opinion~

 

Sometimes, people don't want to see the elephant in the living room

My advice to you is to feel the pain. Don't run from it. Be with it.
Be the friend to yourself. Give yourself the support you need from others. It feels fake in the beginning, but keep on doing it.

You will never get the love you seek from others. Because love is not something you receive. Love is something you give.

 

This made me sad to read, the whole thing about noone taking you seriously was shockingly relatable. I dont know old you are (I'm going to assume younger than me though so it might make my advice harder to follow) but what I did was give up trying to get family and friends to relate to me and just tackled my demons head on. I wont repeat advice already given but I would recommend a book called "Feeling Good" by David Burns, it helped me a lot.

 

Listen: outside world is like a mirror.... it reflects back to you what is in your heart. If you yourself feel bad about who you are and you don’t love and respect yourself.... the world outside will treat you the same.

But if your heart holds lots of deep self love..... then other people will start resonating with it and respond to it. Depression is a symptom of disconnection with your heart and feelings. Trust me, if you reconnect with who you are and learn to appreciated yourself with all your heart, then everything will turn around for you.

 

Good. Go and prove it.

 

The feeling of love fills you when you offer it, give it away. When you try to hold on to it, it is like a handful of water, it cannot be grasped. Some day you will understand!

I bet you never had to calm down a crying child. You can't talk sense to emotions. Emotions don't care about logic.
One must calm the emotions first, and then you can start to train the rationality

 

I love the way you look at things. These two phrases though... maybe they didn’t come across like you intended.

I bet you didn’t think about that.
Some day you’ll understand.

 

Look, i have a lot to say on the matter, but i don't feel like it... cuz you know I'm "depressed" (whatever emotional intensity lays behind this modern word, but let's just say it is a state of deep unsatisfaction with the self, at the level you cannot stand yourself.) However, reading your post I reazlized i've also haven't finished a book in years,except one... even less than 100 pages one. Some of them were really interesting and insightful, but still when you are depressed even making a meal is hard let alone finish book. But I did finish one book, it gripped me so intensely that i couldn't imagine not finishing it. The book is called is called "In the realm of hungry ghosts - close encounters with addiction" by Gabor Mate. It was lifechanging of my view of the world,myself and people. I still struggle with depression but i recommend the book highly (I listened to it the author himself narrates), it might be perceptionbending for you too. It is not the only thing that moved me deeply in life but it certainly is a great contribution.