still you manage more than 30 days bro, that´s pretty good and your brain as rewired a bit more. now try find a way on how to avoid this latest relapse. there´s always something we can learn. even if your sick maybe you can do some tasks at home, something light, to avoid boredom. or in a extreme way, take the eletronics out of the house (laptop, mobile, ipad...). plan a method for the "sick days", do what you must do. let´s go my friend!!!
Today I relapsed. I usually start to get exceptionally horny around the first 10 day mark. I hate porn from bottom of my heart right now, it has really messed my life in the long run.
87 complete. Bad sleep... Bad sleep makes me braindead, which I tend to perpetuate by staring at my phone, which leads to me wanting to give into temptation. This has been a journey, but I need to replace more of my unhealthy habits than I have. The further along this journey I go, the more I realize it's a whole life overhaul. Nevertheless, I'm making progress.
Day 0/90 done successful. Today many urges came the whole day. What I did is observe the urge when ever it came. I didn't surpress any urge. I just observed it, and I found out it is called "urge surfing". Today I did a research on addiction breaking. Today I successfully saw multiple urges as passing cloud. This technique of mindfulness I should master it for my future need. As the urges reduce with time we may forget to be mindfull. But it is necessary to be mindful the whole life. Cheers guys.
47/90...keeping on...I suffer of hypertension and has always maintained it to 117/75 with meds. Yesterday, I got checked and it was 140/95...the porn mind said..."thats because you havent had sex in 47 days, do some PMO and you will feel better". I changed the dialogue, thats a lie, a LIE...i need to see my doc, lose some of the holiday weight, and perhaps change my meds....thats all. It doesnt have anything to do with being PMO free..LOL. Brothers, we need to watch our minds and fleeting thoughts like a hawk...I am still master of my domain...onto day 48...lol.
hey man it is possible though that your blood pressure is rising because of the stress your mind gives you from abstaining, but it will only get worse if you fall weak now stay strong! I believe in you
Keep going everyone, the perseverance here is really inspiring esp despite the challenges we face 0/90 here and so far so good...I might not post every day but will be sure to update if there's any big milestones/challenges