Day 2: A sniveling cub. Working on things that are difficult are good for the spirit. Strengthening for the mind. Do hard things and reap the rewards of doing it the hard way instead of the easy way which is always available.
Day 5: Working through petty annoyances, adversity, resentments, and loneliness, will yield strength.
Day 10: Worthwhile notice: Approached two attractive women, the the thought of being viewed as despicable to women is far from me. Won two basketball game today, rising above the fear of competition. Got one's number and arrange to ask her out. Eleven days soon, a special day tomorrow.
Back at it from achieving 50 days but- it wasn't of sobriety. Now I will spend each day until January 19th working on recovery. No matter how painful, and draining the day may be.
I relapsed two times today and a total of eight times this week. I can't keep living like this. I am getting help before I take the dark road. I want a life worth living more than anything. I may have to quit my job and focus on that before anything else.
There will be many days like this. Anxiety and worry plaguing my action or inaction. It's all a matter of choice to become...and understand the now- not ignore it. Thankful for Christmas coming despite one of my kindred having COVID. I acknowledge that this often makes me want to act out but...no. I cannot...return to that self-gratifying place; that lowly place. Trying to stay centered under the all truth.
From cub to lion , I love that title, keep going , stay strong expect and accept discomfort, pain and frustration as part of the process. You have to go through it to get to the other side
House struck with COVID, job hanging in the balance, denied as a candidate for new position. Ridiculed by Reddit community online. All pains must pass....resetting the counter for 2021.
Tried associating arousing thoughts to negative emotions? Tips here: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...ar-a-simple-tip-which-will-guarantee-success/ I've been practicing this recently, seems to work great. It takes effort and consistency, but much less than trying to just suppress arousal when it comes.
Sober today and attempting a 90 & 90 in a recovery program. 2 meetings still need be attended and I look forward to them.