Relearning Human: From cub to lion

Day 1:
A sniveling cub.

 

Day 2:

A sniveling cub.

 

Day 3: A sniveling cub.

 

Day 4: A sniveling cub

 

Day 2: A sniveling cub.

Working on things that are difficult are good for the spirit. Strengthening for the mind. Do hard things and reap the rewards of doing it the hard way instead of the easy way which is always available.

 

Day 5:

Working through petty annoyances, adversity, resentments, and loneliness, will yield strength.

 

Day 10:

Worthwhile notice: Approached two attractive women, the the thought of being viewed as despicable to women is far from me. Won two basketball game today, rising above the fear of competition. Got one's number and arrange to ask her out.

Eleven days soon, a special day tomorrow.

 

Back at it from achieving 50 days but- it wasn't of sobriety. Now I will spend each day until January 19th working on recovery. No matter how painful, and draining the day may be.

 

I relapsed two times today and a total of eight times this week. I can't keep living like this. I am getting help before I take the dark road. I want a life worth living more than anything. I may have to quit my job and focus on that before anything else.

 

Still here. Still sober...no matter what. An emphasis on training the mind is necessary

 

There will be many days like this. Anxiety and worry plaguing my action or inaction. It's all a matter of choice to become...and understand the now- not ignore it. Thankful for Christmas coming despite one of my kindred having COVID. I acknowledge that this often makes me want to act out but...no. I cannot...return to that self-gratifying place; that lowly place. Trying to stay centered under the all truth.

 

4 in the chamber. Feeling great. Decent Christmas but super grateful

 

Super appreciated man. Thank you.

 

House struck with COVID, job hanging in the balance, denied as a candidate for new position. Ridiculed by Reddit community online. All pains must pass....resetting the counter for 2021.

 

Thanks for the tactics. Going to look into this.

 

Sober today and attempting a 90 & 90 in a recovery program. 2 meetings still need be attended and I look forward to them.