35 and older accountability, Group 2

Thanks for the support. I think it was the fear and anxiety that were keeping me awake. The 3 drinks I had didn't help either, and now as I'm writing this, I think that the alcohol opened the door and allowed the demons in.

 

I hear this re alcohol. Caffeine too for me.

 

Great video! I liked the allusion to Pinocchio. Easy pleasure without consequences but of course there are always consequences just as there were for Pinocchio and just as there are for people addicted to porn.
I think your doctor is right on the money when he said "that anxiety comes because we're usually ruminating over something that happened in the past or overthinking some uncertain future event" I have found that meditation is a great tool to stop me from doing that. You learn to live in the moment and not dwell on the past or project forward to some negative possibility in the future.
I know a lot of people have talked about the benefits of Recovery Nation and I totally agree. They have a very structured, logical, comprehensive set of workshop lessons written by Jon Marsh. They are well written and researched. The primary concept is living a healthy life based on you fundamental values.

 

Day 4 check in

 

Hope your day is off to a good start.

 

I’m having an incredibly tough time today. Stressed out, feeling triggered, struggling to be in this body.

I don’t know if I can do this.

 

I got it from there! I love that you related to the "little willingness" it is such a powerful principal. It makes things so simple and doable. I love the ACIM i have practiced its work book for a year last year and it has been very helpful I am still its student just not doing it as my main study but the principals are my daily practice.

 

Just saw this brother. have you in prayer, be peaceful this is just a temp appearance, "weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning."

 

Praying for you today. I've found this has to be taken one day at a time. I am nearly a year in to this site and I find it gets easier as I continue to gain sobriety. I don't have a lot of days on my counter yet but I am a very long ways from where I was. Hang in there.

 

Since you know about ACIM, Just curious if you have done the ACIM lesson on forgiveness which says Lesson 78 guides "let me behold my savior" . it is a tough one for the ego but I have been practicing with it with great results.

I heard the same principle from Joel Goldsmith the author of the book The Infinite Way (comparable to ACIM principals) the practice is to sit in silence and prayer each day for 5-10 minutes and consciously bring to awareness those people who are seem to cause of our turbulences, and prayer that Spirit open their hearts and show them light. We pray for forgiveness of their faults and wish no harm for them, only wish that they may find true peace, we do it from a place of sincere brotherhood. I have practiced with this in my relationships ( which were cause of turbulence) with good results.

 

You took a positive step checking in about this. For me, it helps to know that there are simple, relatively easy things I can do relieve stress and anxiety. The 4,7,8 breathing technique can be more helpful than you might think (easy to say, I need to remember to use it too).

Prepare for the practice by resting the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth, right behind your top front teeth. You’ll need to keep your tongue in place throughout the practice.

The following steps should all be carried out in the cycle of one breath:

1. First, let your lips part. Make a whooshing sound exhaling completely through your mouth.
2. Next, close your lips, inhaling silently through your nose as you count to 4 in your head.
3. Then hold your breath for 7 seconds.
4. Make another whooshing exhale from your mouth for 8 seconds.

Practice this pattern for four complete breath cycles.

The held breath (for 7 seconds) is the most critical part of this practice. It’s also recommended that you only practice 4-7-8 breathing for 4 breath cycles when you’re first starting out. You can gradually work your way up to 8 full cycles.

Give it try, I hope it helps. Your mileage may vary.

 

No PMO today, no urges or Psubs. Grateful for that.

Was super productive while working, but didn't meditate or exercise. Will try again tomorrow.

 

Thank you for all your replies, brother. My practice is different these days. I saw ACIM as a nondual Christianity with great value in the daily lessons. The last few years I’ve moved towards advaita and the direct path.

I’m using the principles in this video:

Thank you too, brother! Yes, I’m aware of this breath and pranayama in general, but the reminder is helpful.

 

Thank you, brother. The hardest part is dealing with my failing health alongside this issue. I wish I could go for a run or workout, but instead I’m almost housebound. It adds another layer of complexity to the problem.

 

Just PMOed out of nowhere. What I'm noticing is that there are so many habitual triggers in my life because I've set it up to be as routine as possible to cope with my health condition.

I want to be in a place where I can do 30 days. I'm struggling to accept that I can't just do that. I guess that problem is that I don't feel like I have access to enough interesting and fun activities to replace the lift P offers.

 

Thank you for sharing this, it has opened an interesting new avenue of investigation.

 

You’re welcome. Rupert Spira is by far the clearest teacher of this path. If your head is the bouncer of your heart, I recommend Bernardo Kastrup too, who shares the same message from a scientific and philosophical perspective.

 

So glad to hear bro.

I love Rupert and have also been his student for years, been to his in person retreat. His shares has and is a guide on my path also.

I know we each have our own unique paths given to us at a certain time, for me the path is devotional non duality (named by dr david hawkins) the direct path is also something I am using in my daily contemplations but im finding the only difference is I am using the princiapls as thought by jesus and having a devotional relationship to God and for me has been the most helpful approach to this moment.

Talk soon

 

I'd love to go to a Rupert retreat when I'm well enough. He's only about 30 miles away.

I feel that as long as we recognise what God is then a devotional path can be very helpful. I certainly got a lot from ACIM - it helped to drag me out of the early stages of my illness.

 

Doing Ok so far today. Bad sleep last night, terrible dreams. Woke up feeling triggered, the demon was at the door. Went out and exercised, but when I finished, the urge came right back. Took a shower, still there. Told the demon that I might let him in, but I had to finish a task first, which I did. Took me about an hour and half. Urge decreased by about 90%. I learned that not only do I need to take this reboot one day at a time, I need to take it one minute at time.