Checking in Fellowship Friends! 112 Days Free of PMO. Success in the exposure yesterday, I'm grateful. I went for a blood test yesterday, checking my T levels out, amongst other things. The nurse was a bit flirty and very chatty. If it is in your means, I definitely advise you all to try to do a yearly blood test, for T levels. Total, free and bioavailable. Apart from that, good rest last night, my only regret was to partake in an asinine debate, on in which no mind will be changed. Plan today is to remain productive. To the brothers who have relapsed, I implore you, please put in as much effort as you can in anaylizing the situation that lead you to relapse. Keep a notebook specifically for nofap, take notes on success stories, try different tips and tricks. Do not give up and keep putting effort, you will break free! Stay strong!
Yeah but I have got a point to add to that initially its a good thing but once you are above your personal best or get past a milestone like 30 days you will have a feeling that you have done something really great and personally this has finally led me into relapses.
Day 10 checking in. Idk why but today my mood was so low. I didn't feel motivated to do anything like studying and doing my assignments when I know damn well I should. But I forced myself to do it anyway, even if I only did little study and work. At least I did some things today. Tried playing some online video games to clear this numb feeling away and it helped a little. I was also so close to just let the PMO forces take me but I remind myself, "are you just gonna give up your streak after making it this far? All that effort only to just burn it away?" Today was just one of those bad days and so here's hoping for a better day tomorrow.
So a different strategy that I am trying out is doing a different activity and focusing on how much consistent I have become in following it. These days the single activity I am making sure I get good at is waking up regularly at 4;30 . It took almost two weeks to even get up at 4:30 and now I have to make sure I use this time in a productive manner. Note: Waking up early was always something very difficult for me to do ,it might not be same with everyone. Once I get better at it I would like to inculcate cold showers and exercises but for the time being I feel just focusing on one habit will set the course for me to become more disciplined and focused.
Hey brother, the premise is to follow the rankings but I don't see an issue with you not counting days. You can take the approach @Paul S. took and remain a hobbit throughout the journey if you wish.
Made an appointment with a psychologist. Not for another 3 and a half weeks since I head back up to work next monday. I guess I never talked about that. Got that job that I wanted. 2 years worth of work. 2 weeks on 1 week off. Anyways. I guess the lady specializes in porn addiction. She can probably help me greatly. I gotta get over this. I think I will. I am changing at a rapid rate. After my discovery yesterday I feel quite different. Don't know how to explain it. I guess I don't get as stessed at temptations and there seams to be a new voice in my head. Not audible. A voice that encourages me to do the right thing. Maybe the angel on my left shoulder is back. lol Some healing took place anyways. All is good.
Day 2 I am feeling a huge desire to repeat the last fall. But I know that this is not even the thing that my body lusts for. I also know that doing it might make me less productive and my day enjoyable and if I would continue it would definately make me less productive in the long run. So it is not worth it. I think I can make it.
Day 34 no PMO. Had an argument with my dad and got pretty worked up about it. He tried to put a guilt trip on me and I just wasn’t having it. I went for a walk and it was beautiful outside and the walk really helped calm me down. No urges for PMO today. My wife is still out of town but I’m doing fine. I have one more night and then she will be home again.
Oh it was you who posted the Cal Newport link. Thank you very much, since I got some help from it, a new idea how to structure my chaotic days. And welcome @I will win!!! Good to have you in this Challenge, brother! As for counting days, it's difficult to say if this is what gets us to stay clean or not. NOT counting days in the beginning could make the difference that we feel as if our streak would be longer than it actually is (can be good for motivation but no reality check). But when you make progress you need to show yourself how many free time/days you already made (for example: 75% in the last three months), because we it occurs that we underestimate our progress. So I would definitely recommend you to make a pmo spread sheet. I use a spread sheet where I track different good and bad habits at once. For example exercise or drinking alcohol, which can easily mess up porn abstinence, or drinking coffee which I stopped tracking after seeing that I was below 50% for a significant amount of time. I wish you a good Journey!
