Day 40. Short-term crisis averted. On one hand I am happy that I didn't shut down blockers, but on the other hand I am sad that I missed the pleasure. I know... I know... It would have been short bluh and guilt that I wasted streak for nothing really. But still, honestly, my body feels sad emotions. I really wanted to pmo yesterday... Would that been worth it? Probably not. It never is. It's fun, but it never fulfills me. Today I am still sexually tense. My mind wants to wander in dangerous places, but it will be easier than yesterday. I have obligations to do - write summary, prepare for lecture, meet psychologist, meet friend, etc. But it will be dangerous at night. I don't know what will I do. I don't have a plan yet. Spoiler: Journey stuff Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 40. No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.). Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.
Day 47 - 3 days to Warrior - lots of things in my life right now are really challenging. one dear dear family member is seriously ill, I've lost almost 20 years of savings over last 3 months, work situation really difficult with an ally of old now turning against me - it doesn't rain but it pours! Thankfully the urges are few and I am committed to not use old coping mechanisms
I wanted to start this reboot again, I had some thoughts about a girl whome I didn't know but I feel bad as I was thinking like that about her, so I wanted to start my jurny again as to make my self understand that even a bad thought for anyone can harm my jurny as I have to be prepared for that too in future I hope u guys understand...I was very inspired by the post#33875 of @Paul S. as it really makes sense. Every time I relapses I was not treating it like I m loosing so much because I had feeling that I will start it again and improve my streak but I wanna make this do or die this time, either I m making it throughout or I will leave this community for ever...and it starts now.
Clearing out a friend's garage - came across a stash of mags/ comics - the old type that just show naked women - flicked through them quickly - did a scan to see if there was anything more explicit - there wasn't. Put them all away in a box. So I did not dwell on any photos or pics and have since left. I said I would reset counter if I actively fished, but although I did a scan it lead to nothing... So now not sure whether to reset, as I am afraid doing so will remove and reason to just plunge straight back into the shit online later? Help! Anyone?
Checking in Fellowship Friend's! 10 day Free of PMO. Haven't slept well in two nights, need to go to bed a bit earlier today. Urges are limited though. Stay Strong! 10 days – You spend the night at the old Watchtower of Amon Sûl. PMO forces are lurking in the area. @kaerhal Sounds like you found yourself a good woman brother, glad that you have this openness with her and that she is supportive. @LZR Rise again brother! @Paul S. Is there any way to reconnect with this friend? Sounds like a very organized individual, glad he introduced you to LOTR and by extension you became part of this fellowship. You have a very noble goal ahead and I wish you all the success in achieving it, I know you can brother.
@crazyhorse11 similar thing happened to me. But it is for you to decide. I reset once, didn't reset the other. But regardless, know that accidental viewing will put your progress back by a few days, so be wary of ur urges in the coming days.
