[14-CHALLENGE] THE FOURTEEN DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 0

 

Day 0/14. Never give up, never forget, work like hell.

 

Finished day 9, I worked out again after 2 months and I took cold shower. But I had a hard day, I was extremely urged most of the time, had to stop working to calm down and talk to persons (in chat as I'm isolated in my room) so I could distract my mind...

It all was working well until I decided to enter those strangers chats. I didn't relapse or PMO, but after some talk with a person I - I ended up with cum in my pants * facepalm *. And I'm feeling bad for that, it should have never happened, I didn't intend to do it, although the dopamine rush was definitely there.

So now, I just cannot afford another situation like that. I blocked these chat sites and I'm going cold turkey with dopamine this weekend, not talking to people until I'm more focused in my work and catch up with that stupid slid up of tonight. I won't give up, I'll do this whatever it takes... stay strong!

 

I'm in !! Less go

 

Day 8

 

Day 0. I will be free.

 

I’m in. I know I can do this. I believe I can do this. I trust myself I’m going to hold this promise I make to myself.

0/14

 

Finished day 10 but I was literally at the border of relapse, for a moment I thought I would fail but somehow I managed to resist and SUCCEED. It is possible people, you can be very aroused but if you have the determination not to fail you won't!

Well, I must mention that (1) I didn't get an erection even though I was really horny, and I don't know if this is a flatline effect or what, seems really strange to me but I don't care for now; and (2) it was my fault that I almost relapse, of course, I did something not so good for the reboot process again (yesterday I did it, and its about talking with strangers in forums where there's a lot of mentions to sex and people looking for PMO with others - bad sites for our NoFap journey) and well, it's already two red flags... if I do it again a third time I'll reset my counter, I have to be disciplined with this. And because I will feel pain if I reset my counter, then I will not fall in the "online chats" trap which can be really triggering.

Something that helped was understanding the addiction stuff though, as today (yesterday actually) I went to be by 5 am reading and watching Gary Wilson's video on the porn addiction basics (dopamine, opioids, Coolidge effect etc.) and it helped me understand better my urge while I was in the online chats stuff. When you understand the science behind something it's easier for you to take control on it, and today I did it, so thankful with all these people who have explained to us how porn affects our brains and how we can fix the problem!

There's hope people, won't give up and stay strong - we got this!

 

Day 1/14

 

Day 6 feeling the pain of not following triggers has been essential for me.

 

Day 0

 

Day 9

 

Day 2/14 complete. Hoo hah!

 

1/14

 

Day 11 is over and I'm really happy to reach this far! My lifestyle is starting to improve, I'm regaining focus (the one I completely lost during the first week), I've been exercising more and in general I feel better with myself. Of course I still have struggles accepting me and loving how I am, but at least I feel better somehow... more confident I guess.

And about exercising, I've started to take walks with my dad in order to (1) do some physical exercise, I'm really sedentary and NoFap is inviting me to take care of my body and health, and (2) because I want to start working on my social anxiety, it's been 20 months isolated in my room and I need to start working on these conditions ad in 3 months I'll finally go to my campus, which is huge yet crowded of people and I don't want to be anxious, NO, I can remove that from my life - being introverted isn't the same as anxious, I'm just understanding that. And as a little note, today while being out I started to make better eye contact with people in general and felt more confident about myself in front of girls, whatever it is it just feels better than that shame I had because of this secret addiction.

As always, there's hope and we'll get through this - stray strong!

 

Day 10

 

Day 2/14.

 

0/14

 

2/14

 

**Day 12**, it was really great I felt better with myself, talked about relationships (with myself) and have a positive mind! And I think I didn't have any strong urge, even though I was home alone like for 3-4 hours in the afternoon.

Now I need to find a way to use this energy in my study, because I'm behind schedule with all the hard time I had last week with the withdrawal effects. But I'll be optimistic and get things done soon!