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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
2 days. I am reading "The Philosophy of Tolkien, the World View Behind the Lord of the Rings." by Peter Kreeft. I have been seeing that my addiction to PMO has much to do with power. It is true. This is a quote by Kierkegaard in the book. "If I had a humble servant who, when I asked him for a glass of water, brought me instead the world's costiest wines blended in a chalice, I would fire him, to teach him that true pleasure consists in getting my own way." That is so true. PMO is so about getting my own way. I also feel powerful when acting out. I just thought of this. Putting on the ring of power makes a person invisible in The Lord of The Rings. The same thing happens when I act out. I have power over the women in the videos because they can't see me. The paradox is that this exercise of power makes me powerless.
I imagined making it to 2 weeks yesterday. I started on the path to where temptation would start. I realized that it is my hunger for power that made me want to make it to two weeks. I would be powerful if I did. I quickly told myself that I do not want power or control. I repeated it a few times and it put me into a nice peaceful state of mind.
OK, it's a bit disappointing. I relapsed and have to go back to day 0.
Another day 1
Day 59/90 Successful. Cheers Guys.
Day 9, 10% of the way
Date started: Jan 25, 2019
Day 150/153 no PM (relapsed day 51, 70, 102)
Day 51/90 consecutive no PM
Day 153 no alcohol or caffeine
Day 38 of weight training
- no urges and feeling strong in my resolve to not PMO
- our holiday is going good and had great sex this morning with the wife at the resort
- good start on day one of our second honeymoon
Day 3/90 hope the best guys
Going on day 3!!!
Day 1 of 90 completed
Day 16 check in.
Day 0. I truly cannot watch porn without getting an escort. It also occurred to me that I am re-traumatizing or abusing myself every time I watch porn. It just creates this vicious cycle...
Hi bro. I believe you can do it. I trust on you bro. Together we will leave this addiction shit behind, towards healthier and bright future.
Day 1. Fell off from posting a while back, and went downhill ever since. After PMO last night, I doubted who I was as a person. I’d never felt worse. I’m doing this to free myself. One day at a time.