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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
Day 23 of 90
August 4, 2019 | Sunday
Regaining my focus and concentration on studying for hours
day 0...next stop at day 90...
1 day no PMO
8 days minimal sugar
11 days no alcohol
34 days no social media
0 days Rosary. Started it but never finished.
I have always believed that girls I am attracted to would not want to have anything to do with me. I realised this yesterday. I said "What the bleep?!" in a very disgusted way. I still do. It makes me mad. I have talked about my close ones before and this is another thing they caused. I am quite upset. Why would a girl who I am attracted to not want to be with me? Maybe they did not want to be with that mentally ill man who did not believe he was good enough. That is not me. That is a product of hatred from close ones. I am becoming victorious over the emotional beatdowns from my mom, dad and brother. I am becoming healthy. I am defeating this PMO disease. To heck with them who made me feel so small and worthless.
85 days to go.
Slow but sure
Realizing that 90 days is to heal the body
Buh the real journey is a life long commitment to stay away from porn
8/4/2019. Today I relapsed. The past few days have been really hard for me since the breakup with my girlfriend. I was very sad and depressed and heat broken, my self-confidence was all gone. I had trouble eating and sleeping, and I was living like dead. I felt so lonely and worthless, and since because I didn't do anything wrong in the relationship I always treated her nicely. So I was shocked and confused, but I just couldn't get mad at her because I loved her and I respect her. The cause of this relapse I sort of gave up on myself, I looked in the mirror and I just got a haircut and I felt really bad and the urges came this time I didn't have the motivation and energy to fight it. I started edging. I was really depressed and I knew I would be more after but after hours of fighting the urges that came in waves, I lost control. I don't know what to do guys ever since the breakup I didn't feel the motivation to continue going and I know i need to get myself together but man it's really hard. I feel terrible of how i am I'm a fucking addict. I was searching for a short lasting moment of dopamine high to bring me out of depression but yeah I feel even worse now. sighhh
Been there, bro! It sucks but don't worry, the depression will pass with time. In the mean time, keep yourself busy, social with friends and active in exercise is the key. You've got this!
Started Challenges on Jan 25, 2019
Day 184/190 no PM (relapsed day 51, 70, 102, 150, 162, 189)
Day 88/90 meeting my goals
Day 52 of weight training
- feeling great today with no urges and light at the end of my tunnel
- just a heads up that I won't start my next 90 day challenge until Aug 19
- so I will drop out of this forum for a couple of weeks and start again on Aug 19 because that is my 22nd wedding anniversary which is a good time to beat this addiction and renew my commitment to my wife
- no sense setting myself up for failure, I figure, since I know there will be lots of trigger behaviour over the next 2 weeks with my son's 19 birthday (legal to drink), my mom's visit (she likes to drink)
- I will keep making posts daily on my journal (Reboot and BPH Journal) though in case anyone wants to follow my progress
Day 1. Urges are rough, but they've passed and i'm feeling good
I think the exact same thing when I'm tempted. Keeping this in mind helps.
9 days without an accident.
Fun fact: I started my counter the day I joined this site. I've been going strong since day 0 of making an account. This site truly helps, especially the people that make up the community.
Day 42 check in
Day 1/90 Checking in.
Day 2/90, i just had opened some sites but closed them immediately..
I will keep telling about my progress every day
Day 0/90. Reset
Half a month