After NoFap, will you masturbate?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by seth, Jan 4, 2016.

After NoFap, do you intend to masturbate occasionally?

  1. Yes

    18.1%
  2. No

    63.8%
  3. Uncertain

    18.1%
  1. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Thank you @seth. At last someone understands the simple point I have been trying to make. I appreciate you sticking up for me mate.
     
    seth likes this.
  2. Dreadduck

    Dreadduck Fapstronaut

    11
    259
    48
    No, I don't want my life to involving masturbation in general. Especially if I am gonna be in a relationship, I shouldn't have a reason to masturbate, It is a waste of sperm and not to mention can be considered a waste of time to be honest.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

    649
    572
    93
    For me, going from PMOing about 7 hours a week (an hour a day on porn) to MOing 5 minutes once a week - saving time doesn't really justify quitting MO.
     
  4. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

    1,427
    1,321
    143
    That's interesting, it shows that the addiction behaviour is deeply engraved in our brains.
    Of course we can train ourselves to learn new behaviours, but if we "allow" it, then we can recall the old behaviour at any time.

    Seems there is much more training needed so that new behaviours become so strong and pleasant, that you don't want to recall old behaviours at all.
     
    mv8652 likes this.
  5. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

    1,427
    1,321
    143
    The question, on the other side:What do you actually want to use your time for?
    We need to be very clear about our real goals, then we can aim at them.
    If we have no destination in mind for our "boat of life", then we don't know where to steer, and so the addiction will always blow us to nowhere land.
     
  6. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

    649
    572
    93
    Excellent - I may quote you in the future. Let me support that thought process with my favorite post relating to porn addiction. http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0
     
  7. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

    1,427
    1,321
    143
    Thank you, I knew this article, but it's good to get it upfront again. It's a bit lengthy, but worth reading, and totally true! in fact it boils down to:
    1. Have a goal (Know what you want)
    2. Create urgeness (Start right now)
    3. Beliefe in it - be confident
    Our goals should be like a lodestar to us. When we have such a lodestar implanted in our mind, then when we are in turbulence and trouble, we can look again for our lodestar, and we will find back to our goals.

    Now, how can we implant such a lodestar in our mind? What "tools" can we use ?
    • One incredible tool is a daily short meditation with a visualization. Do a relaxation with Autogenic Training or self-hypnosis, and then in a relaxed state, get your goals in front of you. Try to see yourself in a very specific situation (e.g. practising piano). Try to see, feel, hear, smell with all your senses and with many details. Do it daily, like brushing your teeth! 10 minutes per day are already making a big difference! I have made a significant progress with this!
    • Very very helpful is also to write your goals down; best on a paper with your hand, and also speak it out loud. The more you involve your whole body, the better your brain will store it. It's great to write and speak goals in multiple ways like that:
    • I, David Water, practise the piano 30 minutes per day.
    • You, David Water, practise piano 30 minutes per day
    • David Water practises piano 30 minutes per day.
    • A further tool is writing a daily TODO list. This helps you being organized. Whenever you lose track during the day, get back to your list and simply take one item from it and start working. It's better to simply do something without asking, rather than hesitating and ending up doing nothing.
    • Also, it is very good to write down your inner fears. Try to write down specific situations you are afraid of. Also, memorize situations from your childhood where you have been really afraid (e.g. you got a rejection from someone; or you had to speak out in public at school, etc ...). Write it carefully down on a paper. And later on, rip the paper and throw it away!
      Writing down transforms the fear from a blurred unknown "something" to very specific situatons, and it helps you to really grasp the fear and work on it.
    • Finally, blow up your fears by being ultra-consequent on yourself for a few days. Be totally abstinent and disallow yourself any kind of distraction! When you do this, your brain will get nuts ;) Suddenly, fears and negative emotions will ramp up close! You might feel heart race, belly tightness, cold sweat, headaches, etc.! It can become unbearable! But this is also great! Now you can really feel your fears and stress, and you can work on them. The last time it did it, it was extreme, but afterwards, it proved to be such a big leap forward.

    In fact, when I look back, all relapses always happened when my vision was getting blurred and I got "lost".
    The reasons for relapses often are:
    • Inner doubts ("I'm too old", "I am not worth it", "I can never reach it")
    • Fear of criticism or rejection
    • Fear of failure
    • Fear of success (Yes, right! - Success means to get in the spotlight)
    • Overwhelmed by the amount of time needed (e.g. 1000 hours needed for practicing - but think how many 1000s hours you have already wasted ...)
    • Overwhelmed by the complexity of the project (Don't know where to begin, can't split it into parts - that's also the writer's block)
    • Disorganized, having no plan
    • Simply being tired (a very simple cause, but instead of simply going asleep, I'm wearing myself out with PMO, resulting in further lack of sleep, and so on ...)
    • Unhealthy/unbalanced body, illness, ...
    • Drugs/alcohol (I am abstaining from alcohol, I need a clear mind)

    ... There might be more; and it's very good to know these issues. But then, as you said, in fact we need goals, and we should find tools which help us to follow our goals.
     
    seth likes this.
  8. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

    649
    572
    93
    Great post. Having a list of life goals, a list of why you want to quit porn, and a list of inner fears are a great self-reflection exercise. But the list of "why you relapse" I think is super important as well. It allows you to address all the types of stimulus that trigger you and being prepared and expecting that allows you to fight them with a low guard. I'm going to work on that list for myself over the next few days.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

    992
    938
    93
    Who the hell wants hours long sex? Not me. When my man's breathing increases and he starts saying "Oh baby, oh Baby" and I feel his release I'm fulfilled. I'm not counting minutes I'm cherishing moments.
     
    Ser_G likes this.
  10. Obviously not all women are the same.......
    And of course sex is about cherishing the moment. I never said it wasn't..

    However, I've spoken to many guys who wish to be able to last longer in the bedroom, for all sorts of reasons. As I've said in my other comments, retaining the semen saves the mans rejuvenation, so that he is ready to have sex again whenever he wants and doesn't have to wait. I've learned to have orgasms with ejaculation, so I'm good. You don't need an ejaculation to have orgasm, and that was my point.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

    992
    938
    93
    I've read your ideas on the subject. I was giving mine as a woman. If a man doesn't come, most women think he doesn't like the way I feel. What's wrong with me.
    I don't think I'm saving it to make me stronger is going to make them feel better unless he's a professional boxer the night before a championship fight.
    Just saying....
     
  12. Then perhaps that's the person's own insecurity?
    Obviously if I'm having sex with a woman I will tell her why I'm retaining the semen. She would know, and then she wont feel insecure or anything like that.

    Well, like I said, almost all women I've slept with into my 20's have loved me retaining the semen, rather than ejaculating quickly. Because I can last longer. Women generally take longer to reach orgasm, and men cum quicker than females. Women have loved me retaining my semen for many different reasons. I'll repeat, all women are not the same.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

    992
    938
    93
    If a man is worried about a women taking longer then give her an o before intercourse even starts. More foreplay is a good thing. ;)
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2016
    SnowWhite likes this.
  14. Foreplay is good. That's my specialty lol.

    Well, all I can say is that, I've been down both paths, ejaculating while having sex, and now retaining the semen. I can honestly say without exaggeration that sex is now better when retaining the semen, for so many different reasons. Orgasms are more intense without ejaculation. I feel fully energized around the clock. The benefits are so good. There are literally no downfalls or disadvantages to retaining the semen, and I'd encourage all males to do it, but I can't force anyone. If a man wants to ejaculate, that's up to him.
     
  15. TheHeroOfCourage

    TheHeroOfCourage Fapstronaut

    22
    28
    13
    Literally how do you experience a MORE intense orgasm without ejaculation?
     
  16. Well, the ins and outs of it are all explained in the book "The Multi Orgasmic Man," by Mantak Chia. That's where I learned this technique.

    Because ejaculation and orgasm are not actually connected, if you pull out just before reaching orgasm, if you are successful, you'll have a different type of orgasm than what you would through ejaculation, and a more intense one, a full body one, where it will also feel like there is a tremendous surge of electricity buzzing around your head (this is called a brain orgasm). The more you practice, the more perfected it becomes. You can read the book if you'd like to learn more.
     
  17. TheHeroOfCourage

    TheHeroOfCourage Fapstronaut

    22
    28
    13
    Interesting. Sounds like a lot of physical discipline is required for the body to attain such a state.
     
    AlltheRageBackHome likes this.
  18. Yeah, definitely. Just doing semen retention as we are, already puts you a step ahead of the game. You are becoming the master of your body, becoming master to the strongest human emotion - sex (sexual energy). It does take practice, but if you are serious about it, things will just start happening.

    One of my main reasons for doing this as well is because I'm training myself not to be a slave to sex, but to become a master of it. For me, ejaculation is just part of the quick fix, escapist mentality. It doesn't really take much effort to ejaculate.. But when it comes to mind, body and soul, those in the Eastern part of the world were much more smart and disciplined when it came to learning to master our body, so I'd much rather learn from them, and not Western society who obviously over sexualises everything.
     
  19. Good questions.
    Well, the truth is, one has to allow themselves not to become overwhelmed by the vagina. Enjoy it, but don't let it control you. Any man who hasn't done edging in the past can do this stuff. If he cannot do it, it is because he is too caught up about ejaculation, thinking that ejaculation is what causes orgasm when it isn't.

    While retaining the semen when having sex, it is more enjoyable because, you're in a way, "forced" to pay attention on the actual woman you are making love too. The act of sex becomes more sensual. I am focused on her breathing, if she's too hot or too cold etc... I'm able to see her delicacy and how pure the act is in the moment. When I'm focused on just ejaculation, you tend to more think about yourself and your own experience, rather than the woman's as well, so retaining the semen puts you into a whole new dimension of clarity altogether.

    But yeah, as long as your erection is good, anyone can do this.
     
  20. Well, it's up to you what you do, bro. Just as long as it doesn't mess up your streak.
     

Share This Page