Am I a Sissy?? (Actually a good story with happy ending, trust me, read the whole thing)

I resonate heavily with your experiences man, I'm happy to have found someone else with similar struggles, and don't stop leading by example my man, very inspirational

 

This is awesome sir. Havn't read the reast of the thread yet, but stay the course homie.

 

that would help, yes. To be honest. You may at least get back in touch with what you actually think/feel.

That in turn can help you search for more truths earnestly, not apathetically.

 

Wow. The original post here spoke to me. There were so many parallels with my own story that this was like (I hope) seeing into my own future. A future in which I'm free from what is now essentially a lifetime of sissy, bondage, femdom, and similarly themed porn. Having taken a deep dive into NoFap over the past couple of days, I can't believe how eye-opening the core material has been along with, now, this post. There haven't been very many times in my life when I've read something and thought "Wow...this is me."

I'm only on the third day of a 90-day hard mode reboot but reading about your experience has given me hope. Day 3 is already brutally difficult but I consider the angst I'm feeling at the moment to actually be a good thing. It's proof that this addiction I've been ignoring is severe and that I absolutely must tear myself away from it. It explains so much. I just wish I had started much, much sooner. Once I get through what I assume will be the first few weeks of this hellacious storm of feelings I have going on right now, I'll move toward a future where I'm in control of my sexuality, my gender, and myself.

Anyway, just wanted to say THANK YOU. Thank you for sharing your experience. It helped me to launch my own.

 

Amazing. Can't let this thread die. It needs to stay relevant.

 

So what's the update now dude? Have you stopped watching porn?

 

You're right. Real women are disgusted by weak men. That fantasy will always remain in fantasy land. I'm following this thread because I've recently been abandoned by a man I've been with 10 years, sexless, due to his femdom. I gave him the ultimatum and he chose porn over me. I am trying to understand what the hell is going on in your minds. Anyone in this thread can contact me privately to exchange ideas/perspectives.

 

They say you are responsible for your own actions, behaviours, thoughts and emotions and are not responsible for other's actions. I know you want to change his mindset, but it won't change unless he takes responsibility. So it's a waste of time trying to understand this....

 

I wouldn't say it's a waste of time. You're right though that it's complex given that everybody has got their own thoughts and emotions. I'd say that lack of self-control and low self-esteem go hand in hand.

 

Guys, none of this is really too complex, though is it? its complex, but its actually simpler than we make it.

Look, we're all human with our own set of strengths and weaknesses. Some strengths are from nature, think "gifted athlete". Some strengths are from nurture, think "studied history professor".

With all that said, we can also neglect our duties and obligations on this earth. Maybe we don't even know we have any or what they are! That's where porn comes in. Look at the original post again. I re-read his original post again the other day and halfway through I wondered ... "why is this in the success stories" section? But I read... and read... and it began to make sense. It deserves a spot here! He was able, miraculously, to change his mindset.

He knew that porn was a major culprit for his issues. He mentioned early on in his story that he started at a young age. He may or not know that he was running away from his purpose too, but he seems to have found it again.

He somehow learned that the way porn made him think/feel - and eventually I think he learned too that the cages and toys and lingere that he was playing with only brought temporary enjoyment. He somehow realized all that and I think he's right.

 

Um no, I was telling that she can't change him unless he wants to change, so it's a big headache trying to understand something which won't be much use. It would only end up hurting us in long run....

 

Maybe you are right. But we are using porn as a crutch to escape from reality or go into that fantasy world. Obviously porn is intriguing, but there is also some psychological stuff being involved here. We can't just stop watching porn and think that everything will go back to normal.

 

You assume I want to understand this mess on his behalf. I need to sort this out in my head for myself. He is kicked to the curb where his femdom fantasies put him and that is his problem. I am left very damaged and have a right to sort this all out mentally if I am ever going to be able to start over again in a healthy way.

 

Yeah, I am sorry to hear that. It is difficult to get over the mess created by an addict. Hope you get better. Good luck.

 

Maybe I can help you to understand whats going on, talk to me

 

I don't know if buying in the hookup culture is really a success story...