Celibacy: Please Read If You Are Doing Hard Mode.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by MelancholyWeightlifter, Apr 17, 2014.

  1. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Please do not keep reading if you have a significant other or your goal in this challenge is to meet people in order to form romantic relationships, this does not apply to you. If your goal is celibacy, at least for a time, please keep reading.

    My goal is absolutely no PMO, I am also not engaging in any romantic relationships or any kind of sexual activity whatsoever. Period. Zero. I am removing sexuality from my life for the foreseeable future. Is there anyone with the same or a similar goal? Please post, maybe we can form a group.

    Whether they admit it or not, people in a relationship or people seeking a sexual relationship are in a different class and a different challenge. They have an opportunity/hope to have sex with another person. In other words they have an outlet for sexual energy, we do not. This opens up a whole new set of challenges, challenges I'm hoping we can discuss.
     
  2. one32

    one32 Fapstronaut

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    I'm doing hard mode for my 12 weeks. Having no outlet for sexual release sucks, but I've never really had luck with the ladies anyway. Celibacy is status quo for me.
     
  3. I'm curious, why are you doing this? Sexuality is a beautiful thing. It should never be repressed.
     
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  4. kingp1n

    kingp1n Fapstronaut

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    This does not appeal to me but it would be interesting to hear how it pans out and what effects/changes occur later down the line.
     
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  5. I welcome this thread my friend. Ultimately, my goal is no edging, no masturbating and no pornography. The facts are that I am a virgin and I am 100% committed to non-negotiable, life-long celibacy. I agree that certain challenges we face are unique and especially difficult. I would really like to contribute and, I am sure, benefit from this discussion. Thank you :)
     
  6. There is a huge difference between sexuality and violence.
    Sexual repression is likely a cause of violence and sexual abuse
    I don't want to go into a huge debate but we obviously have veery different opinions about sex

    Sex mixed with anger and hate leads to abuse
    Sex mixed with loved and compassion is beautiful and should be expressed
     
  7. Alexander_D

    Alexander_D Fapstronaut

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    I agree that there's a world of difference between those giving up PMO because they want to improve their sexual performance etc, and those who take a moral view of PMO, sex and sexuality.

    I think the reasons for celibacy are probably only because of a religious vow (which can be a very fruitful, beautiful thing) or because you're convinced that you have an unhealthy sexuality that you believe is morally wrong to express. The first route is propped up by spiritual benefits and community life, but the second one can be a very lonely and sad road, which is a serious burden to many.
     
  8. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    With the attitude of being forced into this I'm afraid you will not fair well. This needs to be a CHOICE. You don't have to do it forever, but you may find when you completyely remove it as a factor you may find out about yourself. Don't look at it as a punishment, look at it as a blessing.

    Thank you for at least acknowledging the difference. It is a mix of both reasons for me.


    First off thank you for the response. If you are interested in some of my reasons I encourage you to read through this thread, it is quite interesting! http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthre...que-and-Probably-Insane-Goal&highlight=unique

    There are a MYRIAD of reasons why, reasons I do not expect the VAST majority of the population to understand. Even most religiously devote people don't, believe me, I've talked to them. Even if I explained my reasons you would most likely try to convince me otherwise. I have not arrived at this conclusion lightly. I knew some people would comment and try to discourage me. In all reality the reasons are immaterial. I politely ask that only those wishing to pursue celibacy and those who will share positive ideas comment.

    This is a thread for ideas to try to accomplish this goal. This is not a thread of reasons NOT to pursue this.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2014
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  9. "This is a thread for ideas to try to accomplish this goal. This is not a thread of reasons NOT to pursue this". Yes, exactly!
     
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  10. uchicha15

    uchicha15 Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion, celibacy is okay if you are not able to have a sexual relationship with another person, be that physically or financially. However, if you are physically able to satisfy another person sexually and you can care for her financially, then I see no point in living in celibacy.
    Sexual desires are part of being a human. It is like eating or drinking. If you try to supress it, it will be very difficult and it may lead to certain side effects.

    But, it is your choice what to do with your life. And I respect that.
    All the best and stay clean!
     
  11. This is a thread for ideas to try to accomplish this goal. This is not a thread of reasons NOT to pursue this.
     
  12. Celibacy is an interesting thing. It's probably THE most extreme form of hard mode. I don't envy you Melancholy. Our society bombards us with sexuality and promiscuity in every corner. However, many great people have gone without sex. Think of the Buddhist monks!

    Sex can be the ultimate joy in life. But it can also be the ultimate bringer of pain and heartache. Like many people I was born from a loveless relationship. And I cannot help but think I would have become a much different person had my parents stayed together. Whatever YOUR reason is, I support it and encourage you to follow through.

    Ironically enough, there's nothing women find sexier than a guy that can just speak to them like humans and treat them like intellectuals rather than objects. Your abstaining will actually make you MORE desirable to women in the long-run.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2014
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  13. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Regardless of reason anon this is a place we can discuss common goals.

    I understand uchicha that this
    seems strange, and by no means is it for everyone. For some though, this is necessary. I've heard others compare sex to eating and drinking, but that is a fundamentaly flawed analogy as abstinence from sex does not cause death, nor does it cause any quantifiable detriment.

    Interesting point death mettle. For me sex has been a btinger of pain. But I think you are right that pursuing this may teach a man to treat women better.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2014
  14. We are getting distracted here :( Could you suggest a starting point, MelancholyWeightlifter, so those of us with the goal of celibacy can get on with this discussion?
     
  15. Strugglewithporn

    Strugglewithporn Fapstronaut

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    I have not had sex since 2009
    I have not masturbated since 16 April 2013
    I have edged in my sleep and struggle with porn and mental fapping (fantasising)
    I wish to relieve myself of these sexual thoughts and sublimate this energy into something more productive
    Can I join?
     
  16. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Yeah most definitely Strugglewithporn. Excellent streak with no masturbation!

    First suggestion I have is for everyone that doesn't already, get a counter and be sure to display it in your signature when you post.

    Many people in Nofap want to cure ED, PE, improve existing relationships and look for new ones. Obviously these things do not apply to us. This leads me to the first question I will pose. What motivates you to walk this path? What benefits do you hope to receive? I think it is vitally important that we do not view this in a negative light, but a positive one.
     
  17. Welcome buddy! It will be great to have you here participating in this thread, sharing your experiences and perceptive :)
     
  18. demon9181

    demon9181 New Fapstronaut

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    I would like to join.as to your question of:
    To the first question: my religion requires abstinence until marriage which i am restricted for the next few years.unfortunately its not motivation its a thing I'm "required to do" which is why i think I've been unsuccessful in "nofap" so far.

    as to your second question of what benefits i hope to receive? a clear conscience
     
  19. Kratos_81

    Kratos_81 Fapstronaut

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    Hello. I'm also on hardmode. Aiming for 90 days minimum.

    My goal is to properly rewire my brain and stop being dependent on unnatural stimuli. I quite coffee for two weeks (might start that again soon though).

    I've also reduced my alcohol consumption to once a week.

    I'm just worried if my even once a week drinking will interfere and prolong the dopamine reward circuitry of nofap. Too bad not enough studies have been conducted on this yet, so its just one big experiment.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2014
  20. Strugglewithporn

    Strugglewithporn Fapstronaut

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    Thank you vertigo and melancholy
    My motivation is purely personal growth - I wish to progress my evolution as a human being, moving away from the animal, towards sentience
    Every religion speaks highly of abstinence - I just want to travel the path admired by our forefathers towards growth
    I wish to achieve true unadulterated happiness that is not dependent on any external stimulus
    I hope I make sense
    Please forgive me if I don't
    Thanks
    Struggle
     

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