Celibacy: Please Read If You Are Doing Hard Mode.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by MelancholyWeightlifter, Apr 17, 2014.

  1. Anon Hymous - I hav not made 1 comment on this web site advocating celibacy to those that have not set it as a goal. I am not on a personal crusade to convert others to my personal choice. However, because you think my peers and I are wrong, you seem to have taken it upon yourself to turn us away from our choice and conform to yours. What I stated last time is exactly what you implied. By constantly criticising our choice of celibacy you are advocating sexual relationships, by default. But if we all adopt your viewpoint that will become our false belief! This thread is specifically for those doing the hard mode. So, I say again - leave us alone!
     
  2. Not having sex is not repressing sexuality. In other words your sexuality or your sex (noun) is who you are, not just what you do.
     
  3. This thread got derailed real fast. I thought the initial goal was to share tips and advice on HOW to live a celibate life, not to try to convert people one way or the other.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2014
  4. Dear Anon Hymous, I shall never be a great leader, that much is true. You criticised me for my comments here amounting to a personal crusade - which you have since removed from your post - about advocating celibacy to others and now you criticise me for not doing so. By the way, if celibacy is to abstain from sex, the alternative to celibacy is to have sex. So, you want me to edit my post so it reads, "There are no alternatives that I can think of now, just life-long celibacy"? Oh yes, and you want me to say that the practice of celibacy is not a choice but a "fatality"? I am happy to agree that MelancholyWeightlifter is a better man than I. Finally, do you want me to say "my only goal is to dismiss your ideas for personal motives"? Please confirm these things statements and alterations are satisfactory so I am clear. Yours sincerely, vertigo.
     
  5. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry if I steered this thread in the wrong direction. That was not my intention. It is true Anon that discussions are best done without emotion interfering. I think though it is unreasonable to expect people to be completely unemotional about this subject. It is one of the most raw and sensitive topics we could delve into. For better or for worse, this is the reality of it. Choosing to pursue relationships is an emotional decision, and so is choosing to abstain from them. All the logic in the world doesn't apply to love...or the lack thereof.

    I agree with some of your points Vertigo, and I understand why you are upset, but let's try to steer this thread back to the intended purpose.

    I completely understand your point Anon. People should look at alternatives if possible. Believe it or not though, for some people it is actually IMPOSSIBLE for them to choose anything other then celibacy. Everybody has different goals and circumstances. The ONLY REASON I made this thread was to help people, regardless of reason, to try to MAKE THE BEST of their celibacy, however long it should last. I never specified that this was only for life-long celibate people. If you notice most people posting say they are waiting for their wife or just staying celibate for a period of time. I want celibate people to thrive and grow, using it become better people. I think celibacy can add a unique and positive perspective to one's knowledge and experience. I want people to be content and peaceful. That is my only goal. Can you please accept that Anon? If you would like to start a thread challenging the decision of celibacy, please feel free to do so.
     
  6. bizzlelop

    bizzlelop Fapstronaut

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    That's why I am here to go completely celibate, no messing around, just no nothing, I am with you dude!
     
  7. bizzlelop

    bizzlelop Fapstronaut

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    I'm going for celibacy for inner peace, i'm not religious but it's important to note that sex isn't repressed if you don't have sex for a week or a month or a year, it's how you view it.

    it's a mind set change, don't been ignorant about celibacy, it's not just bible basher's that do it,
     
  8. bizzlelop

    bizzlelop Fapstronaut

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    Vertigo I am on your page, please don't waste your time explaining celibacy to people who don't look into themselves.
     
  9. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I see, this post does clear things up for me Anon. Good points. Well regardless for me I'm celibate for at least the next 6 years because of various, non-emotional reasons. These are happy, healthy, good reasons I assure you. So that's my goal for now. In that time I hope to grow as a person. I will reevaluate in 6 years.

    Welcome Bizzlelop!
     
  10. micsouris

    micsouris New Fapstronaut

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    New to nofap-- as of yesterday-- and browsing the threads. Very impressed and excited to find nofap. May I ask why you are committed to life long celibacy?
     
  11. Welcome :) Click on 'First' towards the top of the page and you will be able to read various people's reasons.
     
  12. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    This is a perfect example of why calm dialogue is so important. I find myself thinking very similar to yourself Anon.

    "Now I want to embrace it more seriously because I believe I have many personal issues that need to be solved before I jump into relationships." Exactly! That's exactly how I feel.

    "The enemy here is the sexually-oriented mindset. This mindset has been developed over years and years of fapping and watching porn." This to. I agree 100%. In a way I think we need to ""detox" from the over-sexualized world we live in.

    And that's really it. Using celibacy as a tool, as a crucible to forge us into better people.

    Micsouris, I also recommend you read through the thread, it'll make things alot easier to explain.
     
  13. Alexander_D

    Alexander_D Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, congrats on an interesting thread MW.

    I think you're probably, basically, right to say that a total sex detox is needed. If we cant be 'masters of our own domain' (to use the seinfeld terminology), then there's no real reason to think that we'll be good and faithful boyfriends, husbands and fathers.

    Self-control is really the foundation of a manly life and it should be taught to us by our fathers and in school - but of course it isnt anymore and the results have been pretty disastrous for the whole society; from family breakups to a captain of a south korean ferry fleeing the vessel first and leaving his passangers to drown.

    To quote the Catechism: "either man governs his passions and finds peace or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy". I think this is the essence of the thread.

    Incidentally, this is a decent and short book that may help you if you're determined about long-term celibacy:
    http://books.google.com.au/books/about/The_Courage_to_be_Chaste.html?id=d2ktHSIde-MC&redir_esc=y
     
  14. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Exactly Alex! Excellent post. Truly mastering one's self IS freedom. Control is freedom. We were a slave to our own whims. They controlled us, instead of us controlling them.

    I think it's so funny to see people that think that sexual promiscuity equals actual freedom. It is the exact opposite.
     
  15. LannoDelDragone

    LannoDelDragone Fapstronaut

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    Thank you! Well, celibacy is something I've considered for a long while now-- not a decision I've taken lightly. I am resolved (at least for this year), and I think the fact I'm going on month five now (and holding strong) is a testament to that.

    Yes, mental clarity is a huge motivator for me. I've always been that kid daydreaming in his own worlds (and getting the big "ADD" sticker slapped on my forehead), so I've always had a difficult time controlling what thoughts I focused on... the last thing I need is a bunch of pervy images (and the, err... following reactions) interrupting my thought processes even more! :p

    Oh, and of course! He's a guy I knew of from school, and he's one of Jehovah's Witnesses. (My Mom was invited to a meeting and I went with her, which is where I ended up meeting him again.) He offered to study with me, and being a bit curious I accepted. I never much cared for church or religion in general before (it usually seemed hypocritical and often downright ridiculous), but this has so far done for me what pretty much nothing else has been able to do-- give solid answers.

    Unless you're interested, though, I won't go too far into that!
     
  16. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I'll have to look at those videos Anon.

    For sure LannoDelDronne, PMO trends to muddle perception.
     
  17. LannoDelDragone

    LannoDelDragone Fapstronaut

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    You're most welcome! :)

    It's good to know I'm not alone in these feelings.
    (Not to say that I want anyone to feel this way! Well, I'm sure you know what I mean...)
     
  18. cae

    cae Fapstronaut

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    Same here, I totally know what you're talking about! Don't know if it's ADHS, but anyway, it's making this thing even harder.
     
  19. cae

    cae Fapstronaut

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    Hard mode: yes I'm doing it and yes, it is hard. I'm religious, so my goal: Not have sex before marriage. And it's hard to find the right one. Would I like to just have real sex from time to time? Of course. But, I'd never do it! However, it happens so much faster to relapse to PMO...
     
  20. bandanana

    bandanana Fapstronaut

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    Already on the same boat as you, Melancholy.

    Celibacy's a special kind of freedom that I don't think a lot of people understand.
     

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