Creating a productive mindset

D

Deleted member 95189

Guest
So I have decided to begin a new NF streak today.

Something about myself: I am a student from Germany and I am going to do my A levels next year in May '20. Generally I am quite good at school but it doesn't really bother me as I believe grades do not tell much about abilities.

The next 12 months or so will be quite decisive ones. I still need to decide what I want to study at university and most importantly build a more productive mindset. I am often struggling with the urge to procrastinate on quite important issues such as doing my homework, studying and my character development.

What I already do is:

1) hitting the gym regularly
2) reading about one book a week
3) learning the English language by means of books and films

But still I would like to make myself a more reliable person as those things above do not always work out as well as I want them to. I want to be more in control of my own life.

By attempting this streak and simultaneosly becoming aware of my everyday actions I want to test my willpower (which is needed to take control after all).

If anyone is interested in sharing their own experience or opinion, feel free to do so. I will try to post at least once every two days. Here we go...
 
Hello from Frankfurt.

I don't believe in will power. I believe in a state of mind that is free from mental clutter. Procrastination is a manifestation of anger, anger at one self or anger at a specific situation and will power I doubt could be the solution.

Find the source of the anger (you mention you want to be more in control of your life, why do you want that? who says you're not in control? who are you trying to please with this? - I can guarantee it's not you, maybe a strict parent?) and then remove the anger; it could be from a feeling of not being accepted/approved/validated in the past.

You are complete as a human being, but being out of touch with your own emotions and having limiting beliefs may hold back from doing what you like to be doing. I doubt will power can get you over limiting beliefs.
 
Thank you for your comment. I believe procrastination as a result of anger does make sense for many people but I do not think it applies for myself.
I have no one to please at this stage of my life and my parents are quite content with me. I'll give it a thought nevertheless.
 
When you make a habit of sacrificing short term emotions for long term outcomes (delayed gratification vs instant gratification) then you won't need to rely on willpower so much. It becomes a habit to do the difficult / uncertain / scary things you know you should be doing to become the person you want to be and to have the life that you want to have.

It's like switching from a junk food to a healthier diet. You develop new habits and become a different person. You don't finish a workout and think "I really want 5 cheeseburgers from mcdonalds." It just isn't part of your reality anymore.

Place more value on the long term outcomes that you desire over the short term comforts. Eventually you won't resist it so much.
 
Days 1 & 2

Unfortunately, I fell ill for most of time. Sad thing, isn't it.
At least I didn't have any real urges for PMO - nothing unusual for the first two days, I guess.
Next Sunday I will be going on a school trip to Edinburgh, Scotland. It will be my first visit to the UK and I am quite excited about that.
I must study a few hours today so as to catch up a little.#

elevate said:
When you make a habit of sacrificing short term emotions for long term outcomes (delayed gratification vs instant gratification) then you won't need to rely on willpower so much. It becomes a habit to do the difficult / uncertain / scary things you know you should be doing to become the person you want to be and to have the life that you want to have.

It's like switching from a junk food to a healthier diet. You develop new habits and become a different person. You don't finish a workout and think "I really want 5 cheeseburgers from mcdonalds." It just isn't part of your reality anymore.

Place more value on the long term outcomes that you desire over the short term comforts. Eventually you won't resist it so much.
Click to expand...

Thank you for this statement! Well, I guess this is what I am trying to achieve... sacrificing instant gratification. It is not an easy thing to do, some days are worse than others. Also at the very beginning of the process the idea of long-term benefits seems too abstract and far away. Fortunately I am already experiencing the benefits of reading - as an example.
 
atlantic said:
Also at the very beginning of the process the idea of long-term benefits seems too abstract and far away.
Click to expand...

Make the unfamiliar more familiar. Direct your focus and energy towards what you want. See / read / research about what you want. Hang out with people who have what you want. Visualize and ponder about what you want and how to get it. Then it won't seem like a vague dream that you're unsure about. Vague goals leads to mediocre action, but if you really believe that you can reach those desires then you wouldn't waste time on anything that would hinder it.

Make the things that hinder you (which are currently familiar) unfamiliar. Don't think, feel, or act towards those things.

It's all about rewiring your identity. Your thoughts expand to become feelings. Your feelings expand to become actions. Your actions eventually expand to become your new reality. It's a process that leads to what you desire rather than a vague insecurity of "I hope this works.... I can afford to half ass my effort towards this since I'm not really sure it will work... but I hope it works..."

This is why so many people in this community relapse in their nofap journeys. They don't believe that they can develop their reality into something they want. So they believe that they can afford to relapse since they think the life that they want probably won't happen anyways.

It's all about commitment. You have to believe and know that there's no other choice. It's that resistance of having two choices "maybe ill do it today..... maybe tomorrow.... maybe I'll cheat this one day.... maybe I'll make it.... maybe I won't...".... that drains people of their energy and focus.

You have to decide what you want and stop tolerating mediocrity that hinders it.
 
atlantic said:
So I have decided to begin a new NF streak today.

Something about myself: I am a student from Germany and I am going to do my A levels next year in May '20. Generally I am quite good at school but it doesn't really bother me as I believe grades do not tell much about abilities.

The next 12 months or so will be quite decisive ones. I still need to decide what I want to study at university and most importantly build a more productive mindset. I am often struggling with the urge to procrastinate on quite important issues such as doing my homework, studying and my character development.

What I already do is:

1) hitting the gym regularly
2) reading about one book a week
3) learning the English language by means of books and films

But still I would like to make myself a more reliable person as those things above do not always work out as well as I want them to. I want to be more in control of my own life.

By attempting this streak and simultaneosly becoming aware of my everyday actions I want to test my willpower (which is needed to take control after all).

If anyone is interested in sharing their own experience or opinion, feel free to do so. I will try to post at least once every two days. Here we go...
Click to expand...

Hi, a small tip from me: Stop the movies. I know they might sound reasonable to learn english a bit, but it's too easy. It's still instant gratification with a little side effect of learning something on the go.
In addition to that, maybe you want to reduce books aswell a bit. Most of society thinks of book reading is healthy, but it's just 'Kopfkino', similar to movies. No need to stop completely, but just keep in mind that it is a relatively easy form of entertainment...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top