Going to SAA when you're a non-believer

onceaking

onceaking

Fapstronaut
I'm curious do any agnostics or atheists go to Sex Addicts Anonymous? The meetings are located in an inconvenient location for me at the moment but I'm hoping to move in the next 5 or 6 years and was open to going to it.

The other day I was looking over their website and as an agnostic, I was put off by the twelve steps. I don't know if there is a God and I think if there is a God he either doesn't care about humanity or isn't powerful enough to help humanity. So for example, it says in step 7 'Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings' I don't think God (if he exists) doesn't want to remove my shortcomings or isn't able to remove my shortcomings, only I am able to remove my shortcomings.

Sure I need help. I've found watching videos, listening to podcasts or reading books by people who've studied addiction to be helpful. But ultimately it is down to me and me alone if I want to no longer be addicted. I was a committed Christian throughout my 20s and it did help me with my porn addiction. God has never helped me stop looking at porn.

Maybe someone here can convince me I should still be open to SAA again but as far as I'm concerned it's no good for anyone who has the sort of beliefs that I have.
 
If they're like NA, then no they're not compatible with atheism. They say they are but if you read the 12 Steps you'll see they clearly require a belief in a higher power, namely God. There are groups dedicated to sex addiction on the SMART Recovery site if that's more your speed. Lots of atheists prefer that to a 12 Step program.
 
I know many christians who say the opposite , that the "higher power" item is too loosely defined and they dont like it.
maybe just say you believe in a future A.I. which conquered the cosmos? interacting with real-life humans is always much more unpredictable and thus valuable than online. but YMMV
 
loneloan said:
I know many christians who say the opposite , that the "higher power" item is too loosely defined and they dont like it.
maybe just say you believe in a future A.I. which conquered the cosmos? interacting with real-life humans is always much more unpredictable and thus valuable than online. but YMMV
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Not to sound like a SMART Recovery salesman but they offer in-person groups too.
 
loneloan said:
I know many christians who say the opposite , that the "higher power" item is too loosely defined and they dont like it.
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I can imagine that some Christians think that. I know of some Christians who think it's wrong to use this site because it was started by an atheist and lots of non-Christians are on the site.
 
It has been shown by studies that belief in something greater than ourselves aids in keeping you on the path of recovery. It is a natural function of the brain, and as such is not incompatible with your beliefs.
It has also been shown that telling the truth is also a very powerful force which causes our brains to work better in overcoming addiction as well.
When we tell the truth to others in meetings this taps this function of the brain and aids healing.

So the 12 steps are in many ways working with natural functions of the brain, that is why these programs are still with us after more than 80 years.

In a nutshell, if you wish to recover ask God for help, you said he helped you before.
He did not stop you looking at porn because God is not a dictator who wants slaves, but willing helpers.

I asked God for help, and he did.
That is all I know.
 
I have gone to SAA, and other 12 step groups. There you will find many agnostics, and a few atheists.

You don’t have to say “I believe” in anything and you don’t have to give them a dollar.

I was like you when I first walked in. It didn’t stop me. I found people who felt like I did and who had found relief from addiction. I kept going to learn what I could from them and eventually the whole Higher Power thing ceased to trouble me.

My advice: check it out! And if you find yourself in a meeting where you feel they’re pushing God down your throat, try another meeting.
 
onceaking said:
I'm curious do any agnostics or atheists go to Sex Addicts Anonymous? The meetings are located in an inconvenient location for me at the moment but I'm hoping to move in the next 5 or 6 years and was open to going to it.

The other day I was looking over their website and as an agnostic, I was put off by the twelve steps. I don't know if there is a God and I think if there is a God he either doesn't care about humanity or isn't powerful enough to help humanity. So for example, it says in step 7 'Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings' I don't think God (if he exists) doesn't want to remove my shortcomings or isn't able to remove my shortcomings, only I am able to remove my shortcomings.

Sure I need help. I've found watching videos, listening to podcasts or reading books by people who've studied addiction to be helpful. But ultimately it is down to me and me alone if I want to no longer be addicted. I was a committed Christian throughout my 20s and it did help me with my porn addiction. God has never helped me stop looking at porn.

Maybe someone here can convince me I should still be open to SAA again but as far as I'm concerned it's no good for anyone who has the sort of beliefs that I have.
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I belong to different SAA groups and there are religious people there (Christians, Jews, Muslims and Buddhists) and agnostics and atheists. The steps refer to a Higher Power, which can be whatever you want it to be; God for some, Nature for others, the group itself for one guy. The verbiage uses God and Higher Power interchangeably and you drive that definition. Like any group, its success is based on the people in it and the dynamics and openness and support provided to each other. Check out a group, give it 4-5 meetings and then decide if it’s for you. All groups have their own ‘personality’ so one group may not feel like a good fit for you, while another one may. I joined during Covid so both groups I’m in meet on Zoom, but there are in-person groups too. Whatever you decide, SAA, I do a weekly NoFap support group too, it doesn’t matter. The key thing is to find a community you can connect to and voice your issue out loud to another human being in an environment of non-judgement and support.
 
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Robindale said:
The verbiage uses God and Higher Power interchangeably and you drive that definition.
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The thing is in the twelve steps they say God numerous times. I don't know why they can't just use the word higher power instead. And I'm not sure my view of a higher power would go well with the 12 steps because for me a higher power is community and the world.
 
BTW are these saa sessions gender-mixed? I imagine women and men who struggle with lust addiction disclosing some stuff to each other in the sessions might...cause some triggeers?:eek:
 
God is who helped me to defeat porn addiction, so I give him all the credit.
He guided me to where all the necessary resources were to be able to walk the road to recovery.
That is my personal belief, but each one of us has to make up their own mind of what they believe.
However, every time I have been in deep trouble, when I ask God to help, he does.

He is that sort of God, he knows we are frail and prone to go against him, but that does not stop him
loving his children.

Cheers.
 
You can reframe your conception of "God" to something that is more meaningful to you. I think the general idea is just to believe that there is something greater than yourself out there. It's kind of like a statement of humility, that your personal experiences and thoughts alone can't determine the meaning of your existence.

onceaking said:
for me a higher power is community and the world.
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I think that would work. You are acknowledging that you are a part of a greater whole, a citizen of the universe, and so on.
 
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