Here's the cycle I'm in: a. I try to date or just meet new people. After a while, I end up not dating and such because my past/present makes me feel like I'm not worth dating or knowing. b. In response, I self-isolate. I give up on the notion of eternal marriage as I don't feel like I'll ever be worthy enough, "good enough" for someone else or that "I'll make it" in the Gospel. c. In that Isolation, end up relapsing again, confirming my fears. I try to tell myself that I need to not isolate myself, to try again. I feel lonely and desire to reach out to people. I pick myself up, really strive for sobriety [again], and I venture out to meet people [again]. The cycle repeats. As this repeats, I wonder if I'll ever get married in the temple, have a family, go to the celestial kingdom, or really ever be a part of the Gospel again. Each iteration makes me feel like this is less likely going to happen. So, my questions are as follows: Who else has experienced this? How do I break this cycle- How do I break the lie that "I won't be loved because of my past (and present) sins?" How are people in relationships figuring this part out? My thoughts so far are this: 1. Break the addiction/sin first. Get enough real, long term sobriety to feel confident again. Worry about dating then, not now. Pro: lose the sin, be ready later. Con: Feel like I'm in a loop where I'll never get there, which just feeds the problem now. Doesn't solve the isolation problem. 2. Be willing to be hurt now. Again and again. Be reviled by the people around you, find new people, get reviled again until you find a group that doesn't hate you. Pro: Find people that love you; you get awesome support to change along the way. Con: Confirm your fears that people will reject you as they find out your flaws, i.e. pornography. Again feeds the addiction/habit to dull pain as long as you don't have that support group. TL;DR: Porn and its guilt/shame makes a vicious cycle of isolation and relapse, which drains hope from Gospel blessings and developing relationships. I want to know the community's thoughts are about how they deal with this in the context of dating, friendships and relationships.