How gain control over urge to masturbate?

[WhyNotStop]

So I’ve been dating the woman whom I would like to marry and build a family with. Here’s my issue: I’ve managed to gain control over porn and am only left with a masturbation/sex addiction. Every time I see her I get the urge to either have sex or a combination of edging and masturbation. Typically it starts with edging and then I eventually give up. How can I get control over this, I really like this girl but don’t want to ruin the relationship by focusing too much on sex.

 

[p1n1983]

So I’ve been dating the woman whom I would like to marry and build a family with

Take your time to know her. You need at least 3..4 years of dating her and living together to really get to know her so you can decide if you really want to marry her or have kids.
Don't make decistions just after dating a woman a couple of months.. at the begining everything is wonderfull but with time people start to show their true self and there you can see how they really are.

am only left with a masturbation/sex addiction.

You shouldn't be dating if you are still having this addictions. It's better to fix yourself, be your best version and then go and share your happiness with her. If not you are going to share your problems with her.
If you have issues to fix you are probably going to attract woman and people with issues to your life. Be happy and in your best version and you are going to attract happy people that can share their completeness with you.

Every time I see her I get the urge to either have sex or a combination of edging and masturbation.

Having the urge to have sex with your woman is totally fine, wanting to fap is not.. work on solving that.

I really like this girl but don’t want to ruin the relationship by focusing too much on sex

Sex in a relationship is totally fine, when a woman is into you she is going to want lots of sex from you so that is never going to be a problem. Of course edging and lots of fapping generally is not going to be compatible with a relationship, or at least the sex part because you are going to have sex issues.
Commit to NoFap, do what ever you want with her in bed and abstain from touching your penis when you are alone. Get yourself busy and eventually your brain is going to look more for sex with her and not edging or masturbation.

 

[WhyNotStop]

Take your time to know her. You need at least 3..4 years of dating her and living together to really get to know her so you can decide if you really want to marry her or have kids.
Don't make decistions just after dating a woman a couple of months.. at the begining everything is wonderfull but with time people start to show their true self and there you can see how they really are.

I definitely have to agree with you on that one. This is a person I’ve known for many years. I plan on living in the same house before taking the step of marriage to really get to know her.

You shouldn't be dating if you are still having this addictions. It's better to fix yourself, be your best version and then go and share your happiness with her. If not you are going to share your problems with her.
If you have issues to fix you are probably going to attract woman and people with issues to your life. Be happy and in your best version and you are going to attract happy people that can share their completeness with you.

Being in a relationship had definitely helped me steer away from PMO. Before being in a relationship I had difficulty even making it a day without PMO. After starting to date, I’ve been able to use that as motivation to remind myself that I have to do this for myself and for the relationship. Honestly I find this as the best method to overcome this addiction in my particular case.

Having the urge to have sex with your woman is totally fine, wanting to fap is not.. work on solving that.

Agreed, that is the goal. Semen retention is such a powerful tool.

Sex in a relationship is totally fine, when a woman is into you she is going to want lots of sex from you so that is never going to be a problem. Of course edging and lots of fapping generally is not going to be compatible with a relationship, or at least the sex part because you are going to have sex issues.
Commit to NoFap, do what ever you want with her in bed and abstain from touching your penis when you are alone. Get yourself busy and eventually your brain is going to look more for sex with her and not edging or masturbation.

Got it, thanks for the great recommendations. It’s definitely difficult but I know I will get there. Thankfully I’ve never suffered from any sexual dysfunctions and sex have never been an issue, tho this edging and masturbating must be put to an end.

 

[Masum42c]

So I’ve been dating the woman whom I would like to marry and build a family with. Here’s my issue: I’ve managed to gain control over porn and am only left with a masturbation/sex addiction. Every time I see her I get the urge to either have sex or a combination of edging and masturbation. Typically it starts with edging and then I eventually give up. How can I get control over this, I really like this girl but don’t want to ruin the relationship by focusing too much on sex.

What's wrong with having sex with her ! If you are in a good relation, then I don't see a problem in having sex. Don't mix up between having sex with your lover and watching porn and masturbation. And sex is also a process of bonding. And it helps you to have control over watching porn and masturbation. And if it seems like your having sex too many times, then dry humping with your partner is a solution. But it has to be only with your partner.

 

[p1n1983]

Being in a relationship had definitely helped me steer away from PMO.

It can help you but it definitively is not going to help her, is going to be something bad for her you are sharing. Don't be selfish and use the relationship to heal yourself. Go and share your completeness to the relationship, not your problems.
The motivation always need to come from the inside, not for another person. Remember that a relationship is between 2 people, what if she dump you? your motivation to do nofap is going to end rigth there and you are probably going to start fapping again even harder.. that's why is a dangerous way to motivate yourself.

 

[SocratesTheKing]

I have no advice for this problem. But I sympathize with you, and I hope you can overcome your urges.

I can tell you this, and to everybody that said you need to wait or live with a person for a long time before you know.

My grandfather married my grandmother after 6 weeks. My
Brother married his wife after 3 months. I met a girl, we talked causally for 6 months, went on one official date and I declared to the world she is the one, we have been together for 10 years though all our personal garbage. My best friend married a girl he had only been dating for a few months.

The only thing we all have in common, is we dated (not had sex with, its different) several girls during our youths.

 

[OrganizeInformed]

Here's a rewiring idea: Draw a picture of her when you feel the urge. Of course you'll want to do it justice even if you're not an artist, but it's okay if you end up with something like Napoleon Dynamites Trisha pic. It will involve a combination of using your hands with some capacity to visualize, and of course it goes without saying it's not a sexually suggestive one but a portrait. Anyway you'll also slow down and it presumably takes more time than edging. (I imagine edging without porn it is much quicker?)

 

[OrganizeInformed]

If that's too much of a stretch, think in terms of writing her a note by hand. (which she doesn't ever have to read, so you might even talk about the process itself being about becoming a better person for the relationship) Also try your non-dominant hand.