I challenge you to write one reason each day regarding why you wan to quit pmo.also a daily journal.

Beginning of day 46 -

I dont know how you lot do it.

This is impossible.

Reason for not watching porn today? Just sheer will power?

 

Hello everyone.

I did not relapse yesterday. Today is day 48.

I just ran out of things to say but I'm still using this website just for the habit of coming to this place instead of porn sites.

So my reason for not watching porn today? To post Clash lyrics and to do it every single day until I die or the internet morphs into a new shorta reality.

Lyrics of the day:

London calling, now don't look to us
Phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust

Interpretation:

"You lot think the British have our shit together but we don't. Beatlemania was a distraction."

 

Beginning of day 49 -

Reason for not looking at porn?

Once again I can't stand the guilt and shame that go with it. That is extra baggage I do not need in my life.

Time for the daily Clash lyrics of the day:

When the law break in
How you gonna go?
Shot down on the pavement
Or waiting on death row

Song - Guns of Brixton.

 

I really like the idea of this thread, and have started using the daily reason in my own personal journal. Kepp up the good work guys!

 

Beginning of day 50 without going to porn sites.

I don't even care anymore - but once again I still get the joy of self-pleasure because I feel ethically good about self-pleasure its natural and why not. I just don't feel good about self-pleasure towards porn because of possible sex trafficking, possibly non-consensual porn, possibly rewiring my brain to need more and more stimulus to get off and possibly ruining relationships because I'm thinking about porn instead of a real human.

Here are your daily Clash lyrics.

Spanish Bombs about the Spanish Civil War.


Spanish weeks in my disco casino
The freedom fighters died upon the hill
They sang the red flag
They wore the black one
But after they died it was Mockingbird Hill
Back home the buses went up in flashes
The Irish tomb was drenched in blood
Spanish bombs shatter the hotels
My senorita's rose was nipped in the bud

Friendly reminder - there is nothing pretty about war and open armed conflict. Do not let Hollywood, books or music fool you. War is awful.

 

Nice post

 

Hello everyone.

Beginning of day 51.

Good morning.

I feel awful today. I did something so stupid last night. I was tired and just not thinking clearly. It was wrong and I need to do better. I'm really to embarrassed to talk about it. I just hope I don't make the same mistake again. Morality and virtues are important to me. I feel bad when I don't live up to my own values or code of conduct.

Anyways. I still haven't gone to porn sites but the temptations have been there. My reason for not going to porn sites today is as a 33 year old human most of the people in porn sites appear to be at least 10 years younger then me. In many cases they are legal consenting adults but I still think its weird mostly because I would not date somebody 10 years younger then me for the simple reason that we are likely at different stages of our lives. My simple logic is that if I would not date them why should I be able to see them butt naked? Maybe I have a hard time separating emotional intimacy, morality and physical attraction. I have no idea. All I know is that even if a person is 23 and likely a consenting adult in their sex scene on a porn site I just feel creepy given the age difference between me and the person in the porn scene. If anything in life I don't want to be creepy and hate myself a lot when I feel like a creep. Again maybe I'm to high strung and overthinking everything. I have no idea.

On a different note here are your daily Clash lyrics:

There ain't no asylum here
King Solomon he never lived 'round here

Side note: If you feel like being really sad there is a song called Straight to Hell by the Clash. I am 99% sure its about American soldiers having children with women from Vietnam during the Vietnam war then leaving their kids and the mother in war-torn Vietnam. Irresponsible to say the least.

 

End of Day 52 -

No relapse everything is fine. No its not thats just the default we go too for some stupid fucking reason. Why do we all ask how we are when nobody is going to be honest with eachother? Whats the fucking point of this fucking bullshit formality if it isn't going to just let us express who we are?

"Hello how are you?"
"I'm good thanks for asking"

I just hate that little formality if its not real. If you aren't good I'd rather society just let you say it. As an example:

"Hello how are you?"
"I'm terribly sad, my kid opened some razors and tried to kill themselves there in the hospital right now but because of COVID-19 I'm not allowed in they are all alone and so am I - can I have a fucking hug?"

It would make the world better if we could just be honest and vulnerable with each other.

Sorry internet you get my raw and unbearable emotions. Its better then holding them in.

There are people out there who struggle with addictions - we can all agree to that right? There are whole neighbourhoods of cities where people struggling. Dr. Gabor Mate (In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts) was the first one to teach me about the importance of compassion, love and care. Lets call a spade a spade though right? Substance abuse is brutal. For those who spend years struggling family members abandon hope, friends go away, former positive lifestyles vanish. There are shadows, shadows and more shadows. I know its easy to dismiss all of it. You can say its a persons fault and they could get help. Honestly, yes to some degree a choice has been made. Yes help could be found. There is a grain of truth in even the harshest criticisms. The only thing I wish was said along with this harsh brutal attack that some make on those with addictions is a bit of fucking respect, love and support. You try going after the drugs even when the party is done. Its awful. You try living a life where your physical well-being is just falling apart and where possible underlining mental health concerns aren't treated. Funny thing that social justice advocates have been saying for years is that with the right safety net so many addictions would just vanish. If people had access to free or low cost counselling, low cost housing, food and meaning (maybe from a job that gives a bit of purpose) it would all go away. Maybe anyway. Maybe people also need a bit of community. Maybe people need us to put down our fucking phones once in a while and see all of us as brothers and sisters. Maybe or maybe I'm the one who needs rehab I have no idea.

I just wish the world was kinder. I wish people were nicer to each other. I wish people were loved. Hell I wish I was loved. I wish I wasn't so lonely.

People are dying from addictions and nobody gives a shit.

I'm not crying your crying. I'm gonna go wash my dishes and cry some more.

Thank you world.

 

Beginning of Day 53 -

I fucking love punk rock music.

I will not watch porn because it is a distraction from time I could be spending sitting with my eyes closed listening to punk rock.

Lyrics of the day from the Clash - The Magnificent Seven:

It's no good for man to work in cages
Hits the town, he drinks his wages

 

Beginning of day 54 -

I will not exploit humans. I will not exploit humans. I will not exploit humans. We are not commodoites. We are not faceless bodies meant for others to use for pleasure. We are not meant to be covered in plastic for others joy. We are better then that. We are all worthy of love.

Alright -

Clash lyrics of the day:

Career opportunities - by the Clash.

I hate the army and I hate the R.A.F.
I don't wanna go fighting in the tropical heat
I hate the civil service rules
I won't open a letter bomb for you
Career opportunities, the ones that never knock
Every job they offer you is to keep you out the dock
Career opportunity, the ones that never knock

 

Mate, the Clash lyrics and the point about porn have no correlation.

I just need to keep posting so I don't watch porn.

I'll be honest though I miss watching porn because sex is why.

Reason for not watching at the moment is honestly because I do not want to give up my streak. I also just assume that with enough time I'll stop thinking about it all together. Maybe I need A LOT of time. I've pretty much consumed porn in one way or another since I've been about 16 or so. Thats a lot of porn thats flooded my brain and my memory so maybe in the grand scheme of things 54 days is nothing. How should I know?

Today is the beginning of day 55.

I decided to expand the lyrics I post on this website to include the wide range of rebellion and political awareness that is punk rock:

Here are your lyrics of the day - God Save The Queen by the Sex Pistols:

God save the queen.
The fascist regime.

 

Day 0:
Because of the shame I feel in the deepest part of my mind, because again and again I said "no more" and here I am, back to day 0. Off to another start.