I'm in such a deep hole right now I've no clue where to turn. I've recognized that I have a problem. I am addicted to porn and masturbation, but previous solo attempts at nofap have not yielded success. Just recently, after some bad experiences trying to get into the dating game, I've fallen back into my old masturbation and porn habits, which disgust me completely, especially fetishes, and cause me endless anxiety over PIED. I don't know if it has caused mental health problems (mainly depression) or if these came first and led to my reliance on this comfort device so that I could feel something other than numb. I'm 25 years old, and I no longer feel my life is at all worth living. Today, I jerked off for 4 hours until it physically hurt, and I just lost all control. I feel like I become an animal, like I have no willpower. I used to wonder why smokers and alcoholics never just 'quit' but I was a fool. Addictions strangle you. It's like I'm physically attacked every single time I do it (and at this point, its once every day or so). Has anyone else felt they belong in a locked ward because of this stuff, so they have accountability? Maybe that's why I've finally signed up, but it's not just about porn addiction. It's depression and isolation, hopelessness, lack of humanity really. Even as I type this my head is pounding and I can't think it's unrelated. It's been 1 hour, 50 minutes since I last masturbated. Whatever you can say to me, it's appreciated at this point. I haven't felt this low in over a year.