I Really Need Help:(

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by LMSav, Aug 12, 2019.

  1. LMSav

    LMSav Fapstronaut

    11
    4
    3
    This is going to be a long post, but if anyone can help I'd REALLY appreciate it. I feel so lost and depressed I don't know what to do anymore.



    I am day 48 hardmode, which is my longest streak (last longest being 47 days) and have been sexually inactive since mid 2016, where I was in a relationship with a girl for two years having frequent sex. Since we broke up I have got into terrible fapping habits and have since developed PIED, something I have never had before. This is a product of fapping almost daily to increasingly warped porn. I couldn't tell you the last time I had morning wood or any random erections, and I generally feel indifferent towards girls almost asexual. I work out regularly, eat well and take vitamin D supplements.

    Now I am seeing one of the most amazing girls I have ever met in my life, who happens to have an extremely high sex drive. It's going amazing, but we have tried to have sex once using Sildenafil (didn't tell her I used it) and it didn't work - meaning my PIED must be so so strong. I am very worried I am going to lose her as I am unable to have sex, and having tested sildenafil again at home with virtually no result I am starting to lose it. I am meant to be seeing her tomorrow and I think she is expecting us to try again, and I'm so fearful of embarrassment. I've said to her that my failure last time was due to performance anxiety which is partially true, and that I want to ease back into sex after over three years off. However I know I need to come clean about NoFap and porn, but I am scared the thought of not being able to have sex for potentially months is going to put her off - and honestly have no idea how long its going to take before I can sustain a solid erection naturally. I know sexual contact with girls is the right way to rewire, but I am not sure how many failed attempts at sex I can have before she begins to lose interest?

    I know the rebooting and rewiring process takes time, but I am not sure how much time I have got. I am kicking myself so much about all the damage I have done to myself over the years from porn.

    If anyone can offer any insight or advice I'd really appreciate it. I don't want to lose this girl as sex aside what we have is really special and I really think it could work long term, but I feel like we can't get to the next level without having sex.


    If anyone could help I'd really appreciate it as I am so anxious and depressed about this:( Thank you!
     
  2. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    Be honest with her about what's going on. Focus on the relationship and not the sex. If she is worth investing in (and she thinks you are, too!), she will stick around. If not, you have been honest and established yourself as a person of character, and you are no worse off than you were before.

    Keep moving forward toward a full 90-day reboot. You are doing great to be over halfway to that goal!
     
    TONYP and LMSav like this.
  3. LMSav

    LMSav Fapstronaut

    11
    4
    3
    Thanks so much man, it's going to be a really hard conversation to have. The relationship is going really great and she's really into me which is amazing, she's totally worth investing in but I just hope she feels the same way. I get the impression for the PIED it's going to take so much longer than 90 days but who knows. I guess I just feel like sex will help consummate us as a couple - because that's what people in relationships do. I read some stories of people still having PIED over a year and that just fills me with dread:(
     
    TONYP and Tao Jones like this.
  4. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    One day at a time is the only way we can do this. Hang in there.
     
  5. LMSav

    LMSav Fapstronaut

    11
    4
    3
    I know man, just not sure how many days I've got before this amazing relationship fizzles out. While this has totally given me the motivation to continue with my streak it's heartbreaking to see what its making me miss out on:(
     
  6. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry for you if it does not go well. PMO does indeed exact a high price from us. That heartbreak *will* help motivate you to get free and stay free of the swamp of PMO.

    I feel your pain. I lost 25 years of my life to this trash. Never again.
     
    LMSav likes this.
  7. MisterDirection

    MisterDirection Fapstronaut

    175
    268
    63
    If it is meant to be she will be there for you. And there are other ways to experience intimacy other than just penetration and O.

    The act is the closeness not the ending.
    Best of luck to you.
     
    LMSav likes this.
  8. TONYP

    TONYP Fapstronaut

    93
    247
    33
    I am also worried about my PIED, and how long it might last. I've used porn for two decades, but despite that worry, I have to keep going - for myself. I agree, I think you should be honest with her. She will stay if she's meant. If not, all you can do after is focus on the future and overcoming this, not for her, but for you. Best of luck man.
     
    LMSav likes this.
  9. LMSav

    LMSav Fapstronaut

    11
    4
    3
    Thank you mate, you're spot on. Im going to do everything I can to be intimate in other ways and hope that keeps the spark <3
     
    MisterDirection likes this.
  10. LMSav

    LMSav Fapstronaut

    11
    4
    3
    Thanks bro <3 This is the first time I have properly posted so its nice to know I am not alone! Really hoping she hangs around for as long as this is going to take:( Best of luck to you man !
     

Share This Page