My GF is horny

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by baskethull, Nov 7, 2019.

  1. baskethull

    baskethull Fapstronaut

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    I am on my 4th day rebooting from PMO (doing the 100 days Spartan Challenge, Super Saiyan Challenge, Lord of the Ring Challenge and No Nut November)

    Basically I cannot watch porn, masturbate, have sex nor having fantasies while being with my GF.
    This created a tense atmosphere bc she has a high sex drive, she's really horny and doesn't understand the need for me to abstain from sex and finally being free from years of PMO dependence.

    Any advice?
     
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  2. 4eyedfox

    4eyedfox Fapstronaut

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    Well if she doesn't understand you and support you the door is over there --------->.
    But try to explain how big of a deal this is for you. I broke up with my GF so that I could purely focus on bettering myself.
     
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  3. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    @baskethull Have you thought about going for a normal mode reboot instead of hard mode? I.e. no porn and no masturbation, but orgasm with your partner is OK. It is the route lots of us married men here take.
     
  4. FollowYourBeard

    FollowYourBeard Fapstronaut

    I guess you could also satisfy the girl without penetrating her, you know, selfless. I did that once or twice and it was fun. Although I don't know if it won't mess with your no fantasies thing.
     
  5. King777

    King777 Fapstronaut

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    I know, I've been there too... Also taking the Spartan challenge.
    First of all you have to understand that this is your life and what you do as a "Fapstronaut" is something really respectful and only a few people on this planet dare to take this path. So if you've already decided to devote yourself to become a better version of yourself I suggest; do not give in just because of the hunger of her pussy.
    But we know, we love sex too and why would we try to restrain ourselves if we have a horny girlfriend in our lives right?
    We have to see the bigger picture here:
    First, she is not the only horny girl in the world. And secondly, she is not going to be the last horny girl you'll ever meet in your life, there will be more, many more...
    And here's another truth: She has a high sex drive and she want to have sex.. She wants to have sex because she's simply horny but on the other hand you do not want to have sex because you believe in something, you have a goal, you have discovered a flaw of yourself and you took a deep breath, decided to fix it to become better. And you dared to do all this as a man, probably with a sex drive even higher than hers. So if she really doesn't understand why you do it even if you have told her about your PMO addiction - or it can simply be for another reason like semen retention which I would really suggest at least for a while- I'm sorry but as 4eyedfox has suggested, you can show her the door.
    I was in the same situation as you, the same dilemma. I personally have a very high sex drive so any kind of nofap challenge is like a torture for me but I had to do what I had to do; I did this:

    I turned this whole scenario into a sex game. I didn't tell my girl that I don't want to have sex or anything. I just started to tease her in bed, giving her amazing oral orgasms put myself into that "master/daddy" role. She was like my slave and it was like I can fuck her whenever I want. But actually I would never fuck her until I reach my nofap goals. I wasn't fucking her pussy but her brains. And you know what, she liked it! So I wasn't ejaculating or not even get naked but kept her satisfied too. It was fun. The whole semen retention turned into a fun sex fantasy.

    You can create games like that, you can make yourself the forbidden apple.

    Good luck amigo
     
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  6. Wugazi32

    Wugazi32 Fapstronaut

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    Just do soft mode reboot! I have a higher sex drive than my wife in our relationship, even though we have sex most nights it's because I want and initiate it.

    You're lucky your girl has a high sex drive! Most men wouldn't need to watch porn or masterbate if this was the case!
     
  7. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    How I wish that were true.
     
  8. skullbush

    skullbush Fapstronaut

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    I'm in a similar situation I got some pied and pa, I stopped p it helped, meaningful sex with my wife is the best therapy for me, my brain is slowly rewiring.

     
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  9. baskethull

    baskethull Fapstronaut

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    I'm 25 and due to too much PMO since 15 I'm now suffering from a terrible loss of libido and a very low sex drive. Even get EP when I get too drunk which has never happened before. It has been like that for months now, i don't think its normal for a person my age to experience this.

    In my situation I believe it might be wiser to go HARD mode and restrict from O otherwise I would be O with partner 1-2/day every day to please her.
     
  10. bms1985

    bms1985 Fapstronaut

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    I agree, I'm an so of a pa and you only need to glance at the so sections on the site to know this simply isn't true. We are usually desperate for our men to show us sexual attention. Most of our men bought the pa with them into the relationship, often with the thought of they will stop now they have a woman but it doesn't work like that. And those of us that do lose our libido as time goes on is usually down to the pas behaviour and the hurt of rejection etc rather than a low sex drive. And a lot of pas sex drive may be high in their mind but this is often a high sex drove for porn and fantasy rather than real intimate sex and it often reduces after reboot.
     
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  11. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Wait so you have a girlfriend, flesh and bone girlfriend, that you can touch, who wants to be touched, and you have to ask what you should do?

    Chan.png
     
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  12. baskethull

    baskethull Fapstronaut

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    Yeah but as I said I've lost all will to engage into any sexual intercourse bc of too much PM and now that I am finally taking the steps to remedy to my problem (by going Hard Mode no PMO), she doesn't understand it.
     
  13. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

    Tell her that you are trying to better yourself as a human being and that both of you reap the rewards of a better boyfriend.

    In the meantime, you should book a hotel room or weekend getaway with her for the first weekend of December.

    The anticipation should quell her sexual desire for the time being (she thinks that you have not lost interest in her) and this should help your will for sexual desire as you will both be at your best at a later time.
     
    baskethull likes this.
  14. fadedfidelity

    fadedfidelity Fapstronaut

    It seems like you have to do more to explain things. Have you shown her this site? Your brain on porn? Does she know that your ED is caused from PA and extreme PMO?
     
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