My Sad Story

This is a very long story but please just give it a read and maybe you know the answer to my story,Well i wish this was a “Success Story” but sadly it’s not. I was a young teen when i found about about m and p (i don’t even like saying the words bc they just make me cringe). Before i found out about p i was happy, energetic, glowing skin, great hair, good looking (not trying to brag). I could talk to people, loved going to new places, exploring, and just being around people and outside. I had a lot friends and girls wasn’t a problem at all, never got in a serious relationship bc i thought they were a waste of time and if i wanted to get in one it would’ve been no problem. i also was very innocent compared to other people who i hung around. I had great friends also i could talk to them about anything as they could too. In general during this time i was ME. One day i was on vacation and i decided to try m (without P) i had always heard my friends talk about it so i was like why not, keep my mind i’m barely a teenager at this point. Well, the day i tried was the worst decision ever. I just kept wanting more and more any chance i could get. Fast forward 3 years and im doing 2-3 times a day, yes those whole 3 years i was doing it 2-3 times a day. And along those 3 years my life just got worse…anxiety, severe acne , depression, stress about the smallest things, negative aura, under developed, bad hair days were common, awkward around people, couldn’t keep eye contact with anyone, eyes were dull, brain fog, puffy face, maybe even adhd. I could keep going but back to the story. So when i got all these effects i just thought oh ok it’s just puberty (which i was going through). But as the days went on it got worse, until one day the anxiety and stress and had a very embarrassing moment that i won’t mention but it was bad. After that moment i thought, somethings not right. I did some research about anxiety and how it can come and go and all that, but this was different after each article i read i felt like “no that’s not why”. Until i came across something about PMO…And how valuable semen to a person. As i did more and more research..and i mean a lot of research, every article and PMO i’ve probably read. I figured out that Fapping was the problem. Once i figured this out i couldn’t believe it, at that point PMO was apart of my life, like a part of my daily routine. I stumbled across NoFap and never made a account until i started to take NoFap serious, this was probably around November 2021. When i got serious about it i reduced my fapping from 2-3 times a day to 1 time a day. Although it was an improvement it was not where i wanted to be at all. Eventually i got to a week without fap, and i was proud..and actually during that week a lot of things got better. My streaks were consistent 3-7 days i’d say by January 2022. And for a while i was talking to a girl for about a month and got on a 2 week streak, and after this a lotttt of things got better…skin, anxiety, and talking to people. Me and the girl stopped talking and my streaks got shorter, this was around april 2022. By may it was summer and my streaks still weren’t were i wanted them to be and i was still depressed because of the way i looked for the summer and i knew it wasn’t ME. And that’s really what made me sad was thinking about all the other good summers and knowing this okie was gonna be different because i wasn’t the same…well actually i had a pretty good summer and my streaks got a little better. But towards the end of summer..something changed and to this day i just don’t know what it is. it was probably middle of july and i just got on a hot streak.. I was always busy doing something and being around people..my stream got to 35 days and during those 35 days…..NoFap was easy..i barely even thought about fapping. And after my 35 day streak ended i went on a 25 day streak. I started to feel like me again almost, i was happy during those streaks. but after that 25 day streak, they got lower and lower 17,10,7,3. Now we are in October 2022 and my streaks are 3-7 days..most of the time 3-5. And now to today, January 2023 my streaks are 1-3. I wanna know what happened and why everything changed in my streaks…and why they got lower and lower. Now i will say throughout the year while i was on NoFap my anxiety i basically gone, no more stress, brain fog is a little better, communication is better, skin still needs some work but better. I called this a sad story because imagine you being extremely happy one day then the next you don’t want to get out of bed because the way you look and you knows it’s not you in the mirror. My goal of NoFap was to be ME again…i hate being this version of my self because i know it’s not my full potential. Well this is where i could use some of y’all’s help and give me some feedback on what i can do and what mindset i need to beat this thing once and for good. If you read the whole thing, thank you and hope y’all are doing better than i am on this journey.