Hey brother, yes I have. And I agree, it's so much better than staying up late. But I was having a hard time focusing in the last few days so even when I would wake up early, I couldn't meet my targets. Then, I kept saying, I will try again next morning but things would be same. I have also struggled with my sleep routine for a long time now (summers make things a lot easier for me but my routine is still not reliable atm). So waking up on time is not reliable and because of that, I have missed some days of studying. Because I am on a very tight deadline, I can't afford to miss any more days of studying which is why, I have stopped relying on the morning time. The stress is also I think making things worse because I tend to escape it using sleep lol. SO, now, I am not focusing on fixing my routine. Just pushing myself to meet the targets. And that's usually at night as when everyone goes to bed, I can focus a lot better. Inshallah, hoping I can fix this in a week once most of the burden is off my shoulders.
I decided to fast today, alhamdulillah. Happy I managed to do it but productivity has been non-existent. I had a headache for the most part of the day because our neighbours are painting their house and I didn't close my window in time so the smell of paint... you get it. I also didn't attend my class today for course T. It's not ideal but I slept through my alarms. Naturally, I slept after Fajr so I didn't expect much from myself. Not too bummed about it though. Inshallah khayr. BUT I must not miss any more classes. I also felt quite distracted when I even tried to study. My thoughts mostly about a dilemma but they were exaggerated and sort of negative. They bothered me a lot when they shouldn't have and I prayed it out. I know it has to do with being hungry and all. Can't trust my emotions/thoughts when I am hungry, too tired/sleepy or PMS-ing. So, that means I have to do most of the work after Maghrib. Which is okay inshallah. Don't mind it but have to make the most of the night. Goals 1- Complete my tilawah 2- Uni course (6 modules minimum!) Ideally, should do 8... a little unrealistic though. I was going to add course A and T. But let's leave that on tomorrow. I also realised that both tomorrow and Monday are going to be really busy so I must do lots of uni study tonight. Reminder to self: Don't fast tomorrow.
Why am I not celebrating this?! This was the deadline after all! Reading: 24th April. Course A: 25th April. Now, almost 3-4 lessons/day. Don’t want to extend the deadline, want to get done with it so I will try to do more lessons per day Uni Study: Highest priority. Deadline is 2nd May. I am clearly not treating it as highest priority. Need to fix that. Course T: Daily homework. Complete remaining assignments + quiz prep. Deadline is 26th April Course C: 8 lessons left. Deadline given by institute is mid May but I have exams in that week so I need to finish this in April. So, 30th April. Revised Deadlines Course A: 25th April. Now, almost 3-4 lessons/day. Deadline extended. It's now 30th April. Uni Study: Highest priority. Deadline is 2nd May. Deadline given by uni is different though. Course C: 8 lessons left. Deadline given by institute is mid May and I told myself I would finish this by 30th May but not happening... Let's aim for 5th May.
4 modules completed, alhamdulillah. Really enjoying this subject BUT... unhappy that I am scoring average in quizzes. Not always but it's like, half good half average. Keeps annoying me but honestly, I should be grateful for the ability to focus and learn. Trying that it doesn't make me feel down. Come onnnnnnnn Zeee.... you be doing good!!! Coffee + Quran break
6 modules donnneeeeeee! Well, a good thing is that the 6th module didn't really have any lecture in it. It was basically nothing. Okay, so. I need to do some project work. Urgent project work. If I can manage to do it in 30-40 min max, I will have 2 hours of sleep until I have to wake up for an online class that I cannot miss at all. Hmm. I thought I wouldn't be getting any sleep but maybe I can get 2 hours of it... Hmmmmmm.
27/4, Sat Sleep time: 4:30 AM Wake-up time: 11:15 AM Nap: 4:30 - 6:00 PM 1- Did I meet my studying target? Uni Study: 6/6 Course T: None Course A/C: None. But I better get started on it. 2- Did I meet my reading target? None 3- Project Task Alhamdulillah Honestly, yesterday doesn't feel separate from today. Both my days merged with each other as I stayed up all night and the morning too and only had 1 hour of sleep. Alhamdulillah, I felt really positive last night. I also journaled quite a bit. It wasn't until morning when... sigh. When I had to interact with with my best friend. There's nothing specifically that happened. If anything, I have come to a realisation and maybe that's a good anything. Still just a bit confusing to understand what's going on. Also, it's not that I am not feeling positive anymore but it has certainly left me feeling a little confused and dulled my shine if that makes sense? I will leave this for my journal.
28/4, Sun Sleep time: 8:30 AM Wake-up time: 10:00 AM Nap: None 1- Did I meet my studying target? Uni Study: None Course T: None Course A/C: None. 2- Did I meet my reading target? None 3- Project Task Alhamdulillah, I think at least 6 hours spent on this Such a busy day that it would have been unrealistic of me to expect myself to do anything other than what I already had to do... Tomorrow's another busy day. Have some friends coming over so need to prep for that. Even then, I should be able to meet the following targets 1- Tilawah 2- Course T: Because I haven't worked on it for a few days, I will have catching up to do. It's easy though inshallah 3- Course A: Hmm. At least 2 lessons? Gotta do something. Sigh... idk. If I do uni study tomorrow, I will be too behind in course T and A then. So it's confusing for me at the moment. Hope that by some miracle, I manage to do everything! Btw, had a random strong urge attack this morning and now too. Can't say I am surprised. My emotions have been really wacky. Worried and exhausted.
Bismillah I decided to sleep in after Fajr today, something I don’t do that often and when I do, I end up having really odd dreams. I had only slept like 3 hours last night so I felt too groggy this morning to start my day after Fajr. So decided to sleep a few more hours. I had a relapse/wet dream. Then somewhere during my sleep, I experienced strong cramps. I feel like I wasn’t even fully asleep during that time. I woke up at 11 PM and since then, feel brain foggy. I have some project tasks to complete within the next 2 hours and I thought I had to do them tomorrow but nope. Feel too lazy and just not clear about what to do and when to do.
Umm... yes. That thing called planning. It's happening, it's happening... all in my head though. Lol. Subhanallah, just been so busy? Okay, bismillah. Let's try right now. A few days ago, I found out that course T exams are happening soon too (yikes, I know... it's getting too much). Soon means, this Saturday I have my first exam so I absolutely cannot even accidentally miss the class. I have been unable to attend my morning online classes of goal H too so there's that I need to get back to. My teacher for H knows how things have been for me so she is really chill about everything and said that I can take things slow until exams are over BUT I want to achieve a milestone this month (which I was supposed to reach last month but oh well). Course A... I really wanted to complete it in April but that's passed so honestly, just going to take things slow. I am 100 percent certain that inshallah, I will be done with it this month. Just last few lessons left. But I really can't give it any priority until exams are over. And then... we have uni study. Hehehe... 2 and half courses left. That's 38 modules. And I have, 6 days if I don't count today. That's roughly 6 per day. So... Non-Negotiables Quran Time Uni Study Course T Goal H Reading Project Work It's been such a busy day and I have guests coming over in a while so I am not sure when I will start studying but I will try to report here when I do. Inshallah. Bimillah!
It's so late already. I am finally sort of free. I need to do lots: Complete my tilawah Uni study - 6 modules Project Task 1 Project Task 2 Goal H task Starting in 10 min inshallah
Complete my tilawah (25%) Uni study - 6 modules (0%) Project Task 1 (I can easily do it tomorrow so really don't need to stress unnecessarily) Project Task 2 (100%) Goal H task (100%) Edit: Starting uni study in 10 min sharp inshallah!
I am not sure what's triggered it but I am feeling itchiness on my hands. Basically eczema is flaring up a bit
2/6 but really didn't like the two modules I have done so far because the topic was not of my interest at all Food break It's really late and I don't think I should stay awake more because I need to try to wake up at a decent-ish time otherwise, I won't be able to wake up on time on Saturday and I have my exam on that day. Also, looks like I am not the only one who needs to buckle up, follow a plan and level up their efforts in the next week. Our challenges might be different but our objective is the same i.e. VICTORY.
I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT COURSE C DEADLINE TO GIVE EXAM Ya Rabb. ... I am a little... Sigh. I am really not sure how I am going to manage everything. I need to put everything on a calendar before I forget about another deadline I am worried now. I have been trying to stay in good spirits but now I am just... Honestly, it's all looking too impossible to manage.
Put it all on a calendar. Feel better but so very sleepy now. I still don't know how I will manage everything. Inshallah khayr.
