Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by potato bop, May 12, 2018.
Anyone know what percent of people actually succeed aka have success stories on here?
I know there's lots of success stories but an accurate percentage I don't really know. Also everyone has different views on what they deem as successful.
I've had a couple of recoveries now, one of them was 6-8 months, another was just over three, and I have more 1 month or so streaks than I can remember. I don't know the actual percentage of people who have created accounts to those who consider themselves recovered, but I can tell you it isn't just a cut and dry situation. Recovery can be messy, and it isn't always permanent. We are addicts after all, whether we are recovering, recovered, or stuck in the loop. It's always something to be on the lookout for.
Ive been in recovery from porn addiction 10 years. I have learnt to accept that for me it isnt about "clean time" but being at peace with myself. I need to be at peace or I will use. Like @Icyweb said earlier, I have had several 6 month clean times over those years, but if I beat myself up for using, I will only use more.
The number of men who truly remain abstient (till death of course ) will be on the lower side, but remember how much time we all free up from those months of abstaining.
I don't know the %, but considering the fact that you see people who come back after 1 year or two years back of abstaining it seems like the numbers are extremely low. And most of the success stories you read, you will see them sooner or later in the relapse section.
That number must be really low, IMHO.
This is the second time I have got to 243 Days (just over eight months). I hope I can keep it up forever. It was on day 243, a couple of years ago, that I went to view pages of underwear (a p/sub for me). I didn't touch or stimulate myself and I didn't go on to watch anything more revealing or arousing. But I had no hesitation in resetting my tracker to zero.
I would like to extend this period of abstinence indefinitely. At the moment, I still feel the pull of masturbation sometimes and I still get a few porn flashbacks and urges to watch it. So, I still keep a monthly goal ahead of me. The one in my view currently is 270 days (nine months). 300 days (ten months) will be a significant milestone. But I want to keep the discipline of maintaining focus on the next goal. When I am in the last few days of achieving that, I shall reacquire my focus on the one after that. I have lost out before on being so caught up with the joy of reaching a goal, I have relaxed afterwards and relapsed that day or the next. So, I have found a way of reducing that possibility. Maybe it will work for you guys, too!
What does the future hold for me? Who can say?
I guess it depends on what you consider to be a successful reboot. If we're talking specifically about porn abstinence for life, then I'd say that the percentage is quite low. But for me, I'd say that a successful reboot requires a level of self improvement beyond just PMO abstinence. If we are able to improve other areas of or lives, whether it be career, relationships, social or mental wellbeing during this journey, then there's something to be said about that. And from many of the posts/journals I've read, it seems that many are having quite a bit of success here.
I'd agree with @Righthandman76 and say that it's all about context and your general growth and development. If say you have an incident where you relapse and watch porn once after three months abstinent, but in that same time you have used the self control you have developed and started to focus your energies into a positive hobby, or your relationships, or whatever, then it's not a loss. The old adage "once an addict, always an addict" unfortunately does ring true. I read a post on here somewhere that said this isn't about never masturbating/using porn for the rest of your life, but it's a process of de-escalation from where you were at. We're all here because we want to change behaviours that we have realised are harmful to us in some way, so I'd say every little step we can take towards this is a success regardless of whether you lapse along the way.
^ This - I have had streaks of 100+ days several times - yes i have relapsed but am I a 'failure' ? Hell no because before coming here I would not have believed it is physically possible for a man to go more than two weeks without fapping. Each time I have improved. My day count is low now not because I am relapsing more but because I have set my standards even higher (I am cleaning my mind of fantasizing and edging thoughts - the "p" problem is no longer a problem.
Being here, trying to improve is never a failure. It sounds corny but as long as you keep sincerely trying, no matter how many times you fail, you are a success.
Yes! It took a life time to build this up and we are also fighting a constant bombardment from main stream society that tells us PMO is good, healthy, or use sex to sell us something, it's a lot of mental unwiring and rewiring....
It's hard to define what success is. For me it's about getting rid of compulsive behavior, binge MB/O with help of P. I don't count seeing explicit sexual material as relapse per se, if you don't act on the impulse. If you can just close the tab/change the channel/ no harm has been done. You can't get away from nudity or sex imagery, it's all around us. The trick is, to learn how to live with it and ignore it. Just my 2 cents.
I think that depends on your definition of success. I think @Kenzi has a resource that says recovery is 5 years for PMO and only 5% get to the five year mark, is that right Kenzi??
Only 6% of people who quit porn and masturbation are successful for lifelong abstention of both (according to places like NIDA & the CDC)
I was thinking she referenced 5 years and a 4% success rate. Those both sound about right to me. I think the 90-day reboot is not what it takes for a complete recovery, it's what it takes for the PA to begin to understand the influence of PMO on their life.
EDIT: See @Kenzi's post above. It's 6%.
5 years is what I researched and saw as most standards for complete recovery.
90 days is just a stepping stone.
So 5 years is typically full recovery, and a lot of people don't get there. One thing I would caution people against doing, (and I know you aren't suggesting this) is putting off living life until you are fully recovered. Whether you're on day 0, day 5, day 90, or whatever, now is the time to live. You can't put off accomplishing what you want to accomplish until everything is going right.
Starting a romantic relationship might be different, since you're bringing another person into your life when you might not be able to treat them right because of your addiction, but that's separate from most issues that people will put off.
When it comes to questions like this there are consistent underlying mathematical phenomena at work. The following statement would be more or less true:
The square root of the number of people who attempt nofap accumulate half of the successful days. So from 100% of nofappers, 10% hold half of the successful days in total. Of that 10%, 3-3.2% would have half of those total days, and so on. It's actually recursive until you reach a very, very small sample size. This conjecture correlates with the data posted above when averaged out.
3 + 10 / 2 = 6.5
How could I figure this out with no data? It's called the Pareto Principle. It occurs in all events. Look at score distributions of NBA players, who wins fights in MMA, productivity within companies, sizes of animals in given populations, or height of trees in a forest.
The universe is disappointingly predictable.
Woah that's really interesting! Assuming ur not trolling me haha
Everyone who is struggling and trying, is successful imo.
Not trolling. This is just math. I do math for a living so I've got an encyclopedia of indifferent knowledge.
Often times definitions are arbitrary. That being said, no matter how you attempt to define "success", your groups will take form with respect to some given principle. So if we define all nofappers actively attempting as successful, we simply take the contra-positive, which is the inactive porn addicted populace... which (and I don't have the data on hand but...) most likely still takes the form of the Pareto Principle.
When we define groups/sets, they tend to be fractal. There isn't much in the universe outside of the highest form of abstractions that is not fractal. So once we define some group, that group can almost always be identified as a subgroup of a larger group and so on. That is the nature of fractals. Any given point of reasoning is just some point 'n' between 'k' and 'm' along a path of increasing or decreasing precision.