P**N FREE DECEMBER - 2 WEEKS COMPLETED :)

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So, I have successfully completed my 14 days today.

I started this challenge and had a wish that this December, 2019 is going to be the first month in my entire life where I will not watch p**n and neither fap(since getting hooked onto it 4-5 years back) .

A month completely free of my compulsive behaviour .

And yes, I am going strong . 2 weeks in and I am only feeling much more proud, determined and disciplined . Can't really describe the feeling, the feeling of overcoming something which I have struggled with for so long.

Now, for the next 2 weeks left in this December, I will be daily writing updates in the comments, where I will try to describe my day, any challenging thing I did, and anything worth telling, in short.

At the end, I will only say that - if I can do it, you can do it too. I was a serious case of p**n addiction and have no shame in acknowledging it. I struggled badly with it, cried at times, but rose back up to fight it and I feel much stronger and happy today.
 
Update: DAY 15 & DAY 16

Day 15 -

  • mostly I was busy in preparing my project report which I had to submit the next day.
  • did meditate in the sun for about 15-20min
  • one strange thing I went through was the "relapse-guilt dream", I don't know what else to call it. I slept around 4pm and had a dream, super real. I saw I am on my laptop and somehow end up watching some p**n and relapsing. After relapsing, I am trying to reason with myself that it's not that bad, it's ok and you did great and all and suddenly bang, I wake up. Trust me, literally, I was in shock on how real can such dreams be. I was convinced that I had relapsed until when I realised that I went to sleep just after working on my report, and so the when did I relapse ? It could not be possibly true that I did relapse. 5-10 min later was when I was convinced that it really was a dream and not something I had done before going to sleep. This was super weird and nearly had me relapsed, or at least consider the thought of it. A cold shower later, and I felt better that I did not give in to this strange addiction dream.

Day 16

Amazing day today. Saw lot of benefits actually play out today. I was confident since the morning. Got off the bed easily and bathed . Soon left for college. And noticed several moments and situations where I stepped up and acted (my old self would have just accepted the situation and not do anything about it)
  • I was in the centre of many communications I had with various groups of people - my friends, classmates, and other acquaintances
  • Did interact with a lot of people and saw that my level of comfort has really increased . I am saying things much more easily without really overthinking about 'em , if that makes sense.
  • Did submit the report in college, and overall the day was great. going to hit the gym and a light dinner after it. Go strong guys . NOFAP is really worth it.
 
DAY18 update:
I did relapse. I am not sorry though I feel bad rn. I did great and i am very proud of myself.

Gonna be much more stronger from now on. I'll be back .

(to be honest, it took a whole lot of courage to make this update post and accept that I did fail. )
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