Virgin at 22

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by olinsky, Oct 30, 2019.

  1. egil

    egil Fapstronaut

    An other way to go about it. I think perhaps we all fall to a mindset trap set by porn and media that there are men and women so very different and apart. The normal thing is actually that they are all people around you. You will be talking and interacting with both men and women, people, all the time. Everywhere you go.
    Starting up a conversation with a person of no importance to you is not all that hard. If you look at a girl as a possible mate, with the intension to hook up, approaching will be much harder.
    Eventually the magic of mutual interest will happen in one of those conversations.
     
    Hello Friend likes this.
  2. Xander_

    Xander_ Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    You were never in a relationship, you're a virgin and you're 22 ...Okay, what will losing virginity and getting a relationship change about you ? You putting your penis in girl's vagina won't magically solve anything.

    Think for a second, are you really happy about yourself now ? Why do you need to be dependent on someone else's company to be happy ? This would only prolong your suffering in the long term.

    What kind of person are you ? What kind of person do you want to become ? Your value is not set upon by how many women you have at your disposal this is a really lame perspective on everything fueled by porn. Being obsessed over girls will only lead you to frustration, stop it on time.

    I keep saying this to everyone, and i'll say it to you. Don't chase girls, attract. Chasing girls leads to more frustration, and it leads you nowhere. Girls tend to like guys who are assertive, confident, positive etc. You obtain those through self-improvement, you focus on yourself instead. This way, you will eventually grow into a person where right people will recognize and react to your vibe.

    What those guys say to you is irrelevant, what is important is how you feel about yourself. Those people don't matter, their opinions are subjective. Those opinions won't get you good things in your life, perhaps they just make you pity yourself more and make you think what the hell is wrong with you, right ?

    Getting a girlfriend is relatively easy job, but finding a person you're compatible with takes some good effort. How would you be able to deal with another human being if you have hard time dealing with yourself ? You have some work to do, go on a self improvement journey. The very first step you need to do is to give up your porn addiction, focus on this right now. Time for girls will come later, they won't go anywhere i promise you that.
     
    Talove likes this.
  3. dankestmemes

    dankestmemes Fapstronaut

    This is exactly the right thing to do. Work on yourself and when you become great, people (and girls) will naturally gravitate towards you. You won't even need to try. My formula in college was martial arts for building my body, and dance for social occasions. Real dancing that actually requires skill.
    It also augmented my martial skills and footwork. At clubs and bars, I wouldn't go all out, just a little here and there (unless there were others who were also skilled, then we would have a small cypher). Girls just came up to me to talk. It took months and months of training. Shin splints, blisters, etc. Pussy was the main motivation but eventually I started doing it for myself. And when THAT happened, the pussy paid attention even MORE. Ironic.
    My point is, find something you can really enjoy (I always recommend something physical) and pursue it. There will be no shortcuts. You should be tired everyday. Is the you of today, better than the you of yesterday? Whatever you do, make sure that answer is always yes.
     
    Hello Friend likes this.
  4. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    1- Don't let other guys tell you who to be.
    2- the process of trying to get a girl and getting rejected is even more painful than being alone
    3- why not just be friends with a girl or girls?
     
    maningup12 likes this.
  5. SomeMiserableJackass

    SomeMiserableJackass New Fapstronaut

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    Find situations where you can talk to a girl that you will likely never see again. That way, you can make a complete ass of yourself and it won't come back to haunt you. You will gradually get better (both inward and outward) at talking to people. I've been there, I used to get the same "just try talking to them" advice, and I was petrified about the repercussions of saying or doing something stupid. Talk to someone you see regularly (classmate, work colleague, someone at the same gym as you, etc.), make an ass of yourself, and it can come back to bite you; talk to someone you've never crossed before and will likely never cross again, make an ass of yourself, no consequences. Do this until you're somewhat competent, then try people who are regularly in your proximity. Worked for me after years of suffering. Also, I was a virgin at 22 as well.
     
  6. maningup12

    maningup12 Fapstronaut

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    you are younger, please don't worry about it. this is the first day of the rest of your life!
     
  7. Talove

    Talove Fapstronaut

    I like to take virginity as a gift. I was blessed to not have such a big distraction in my life. Maybe there is a higher reason for it? Maybe you are supposed to do something much greater with your life than indulge in the sexual pleasures? These are questions you should ask yourself. Should I really give my sacred virginity to a women just for the sake of losing it? The women you lose your virginity to, should be the women who you know will give her life to you. So you give your life to her. This is unfortunately rare these days, and we surely don't need anymore population on this planet. This is at least my view on it.

    It is best to not torture yourself with the idea that being a virgin is bad or weak or whatever you may call it. In fact, it can be viewed in quite the opposite manner. And maybe even more so. You aren't so enticed by the sexual pleasures. So you are strong and stand your ground. It is only those that think they don't want to be a virgin, who suffer being a virgin. Proudly state that you are a virgin, I am sure some women would actually really like that. Because they want to be the one to take it from you lol. She wants to be your "One". You choose the "One", it is your virginity after all. And obviously you have not found her yet. So just go on your way, you are just fine. You don't need her.

    You know, it is funny really. When people meet me, they assume I am not virgin. They think that I already have a girlfriend and experience with girls. For whatever reasons they will, be it they think I am calm, good-looking, smart, etc. These attributes they attribute to me having a girlfriend and not being a virgin. However on the contrary, they actually come from me being comfortable with my virginity. They act very surprised if I ever get to telling them that I am a virgin and that I have never had a girlfriend, or much experience with women at all. If you can calmly say that you are a virgin and have no problems with it. People literally can not pester you about it anymore. As long as you are fine with it. Own it. So I guess either understand that it is absolutely fine to be a virgin, or go on worrying and trying to lose it.

    Remember you are losing it, so you want to give it to who you think truly deserves it. You could also look at it as these people want you to lose your virginity. Literally. They want you to lose. Why would they want you to lose? They think that you are winning in some way by being a virgin. They think that you are winning over yourself, and that you have not given yourself to anyone yet because you value yourself. They think that you value yourself more than they value themselves. So they want to see you lose or fall to someone else for once. "How come you are ok without anyone else?", they might think subconsciously. Or, "What makes you so special that you don't want another person?" There are many more positive ways to look at virginity than negative. It is up to you really to choose how you see it. Will it be an impediment? Or will it be blessing? I would choose the latter. As I believe it really is a blessing the more you look at it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2019
  8. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

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    Hi olinsky,
    don't believe everything you hear from other young men. We males, old and young tend to exaggerate our amorous activities. It's for our own egos. Don't be distressed being in a relationship is not the be all and end all!
    Enjoy your singleness and utilise it to complete your studies in a timely fashion.
    Take care and good luck.
     
  9. WackinWolf

    WackinWolf Fapstronaut

    27 year old virgin here and I have also never been in a relationship. There was another post that I'm reminded of when I typing here. Maybe if you focus on the things that you love a relationship can begin to blossum from that. Or another possibility would be to not look at the absence of a relationship a bad thing, maybe you need to look and work with yourself before your ready to start a relationship? This may not be for you but that is what I am currently doing.
     

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