What's the point in having a girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by DaveyCrockett, Dec 27, 2018.

  1. Clarke

    Clarke Fapstronaut

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    A gf will make your pee pee hard and put it in her vagoo.
     
  2. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure anyone can really answer that question objectively. So here's my own perspective (understand it's just my point of view, I know not everyone sees the world this way). I find a lot of value in connecting with other people on a deep level. I like feeling like I'm expressing myself authentically with someone and that they're really looking at me, listening to me, and being present with me. You can find that type of connection in all sorts of relationships, but having a girlfriend is one of the many ways to connect with people. I don't think it's necessary to have a girlfriend to achieve that type of connection, but pursuing romantic relationships have certainly provided that for me in my life. Having said that, it's not something that I crave or that I would be unhappy without. In fact, I like the ups and downs in life. I can find things to appreciate both about being single and about being in a relationship.

    Yes, but it's not anything important / necessary. Besides, the fear of missing out on something is not a healthy way to motivate yourself. You're always going to miss out on something. Opening one door in life almost always means closing another. When you move to a new city, you're missing out on moving to all the other ones in the world. Even when you date someone, you're missing out on all the other people you could be dating. So, I'd advise to just not think of things that way. Sure, in a sense you're missing out on that experience, but it's not an experience you need to have to live a complete life or to really be a human being. In fact, I wish you could have any kind of relationship you wanted right now so that you could see that you'll still feel like something is missing and that you still have desires left unfulfilled. A relationship won't solve any problems in your life, it'll just create new ones. Some of them are really interesting problems, and a lot of them are worth the joy of connecting with someone you love (in my opinion), but it's not going to complete you or make you feel like you suddenly have everything you need.

    Sure. Like I said, having that sort of connection with someone is really special to me. Having said that, it's not something you need, and you can live a full, interesting, meaningful life without ever being in a relationship.

    My advice is to focus on your own interests. Focus on the things that make you passionate, the things that you feel really emotional about, and pursue them. I'm not saying that if you do that, you'll find a girlfriend. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. I'm just saying that if you focus on what makes you feel alive, you'll realize that you don't need a girlfriend.
     
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  3. DoughnutSoda

    DoughnutSoda Fapstronaut

    I only agree with this to an extent. As a man with a girlfriend (soon-to-be fiance,) I have found the journey through NoFap to be easier and supportive, however, this only happened because of why I was looking for a girlfriend. Being with her has helped me to feel alive and to explore my passions. She's taken a vested interested in the schooling that I do (I'm in Public Relations, which can either be the most exciting major, or the most boring, depending on the task at hand) and in my hobbies and interests. Being with the girl I am now has helped me to grow, becoming something more and encourages me to reach out and try new challenges.

    HOWEVER, this is because, that's what I was looking for. I would say yes, from actual experience having a girlfriend is worth it, especially if you are willing to work with her in making a strong, commited relationship. However that takes a lot of work and if you don't feel up to that task, don't do it.
    There is nothing wrong with being single. You have more time, money and a lot less stress. Dating could go south or you may be stuck in a bad relationship. There are risks, trust me, however when you find someone you can gel with and create a partnership (which is what dating should be about) then it is all worth it.

    Long story short: If you feel a girlfriend will help you achieve your dreams, goals, desires and you are willing to work with her on her goals, dreams and desires and you become a team, then yes, go for it. It's worth it. However, if not, don't fret, maybe having a girlfriend isn't right for you at this moment. Go on a few dates here and there, get to meet people, step outside of your comfort zone and if you find someone, bueno. All in all, just make sure you are taking care of yourself and growing as a person. Regardless of what you choose, people love a confident you.
     
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  4. yes, you are missing out. you haven't tried to experience the emotional bond in dating yet. the caressing, hugs, kisses, caring, supporting, the confiding. it is not just merely physical, is having a companion you can rely on, who loves you for who you are, accepts your addictions and truly understands you. once you find the one for you, it is all worthy it, even heartreak you may feel at some point. i have been heartbroken, but i know one day i will find the right guy for me. but closing yourself is not a solution. it is a human desire to connect with others, romantically too. you'll feel the desire and it is a beautiful thing as long as you nurture it with love and in healthy ways. don't chase it but be open to love
     
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  5. Neo123

    Neo123 Fapstronaut

    Having sex without a condom. Duh
     
  6. Christian Fox

    Christian Fox Fapstronaut

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    I'd say, speaking as one who has never been in a relationship, that having a girlfriend is unnecessary, as so many things are, but it has the potential for great good. It has been pointed out before that it has many benefits, I would add that it's per definition the most intimate relationship between two human beings, and I can only surmise (having no personal experience) that it must be extremely satisfying in that way. However, there is a saying that marriage enables you to solve problems together, which you wouldn't have had alone, and this is certainly true as well.
    My advice is to embrace being single for the time being, but considering the possibility of a relationship and what it entails, and, most importantly, to make sure that when/if you should one day decide to go for it, make that a decision for life.
     
  7. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

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    Try being in your mid 30s with no intimate or deep experience whatsoever with a girl! Truly you will be depressed!!

    Yes, relationships are hard work, but, unlike loneliness and never having the experience of a deep and emotional bond, it doesn't make you feel like sub-human with all sort of psychological and emotional problems.

    Humans need each other: that's a fact!
     
  8. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    WUT
     
  9. That's not even true lol. Your vital energy goes to waste anyway. It's not like if you have sex your vital essence somehow magically does not get wasted. Anytime you spill the essence you are gettin weaker afterwards. That's why even after marriage ,there should be moderation .
     
  10. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    We dont NEED them. But they can be one of the most beautiful things on the planet if you find the right one.
    The right woman can make life on this planet heaven, the wrong one can easily turn it into hell.
    It's on you to find a girl that is good for you, i would recommend "The rational male" from Rollo Tomassi as a base idea on why a woman does what.
    That book is a real eye opener
     
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  11. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Man, if you wanna be a monk you should stop using internet.
     
  12. Stating the facts ,no need to heat up.
     
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  13. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    yea of course, but we started the discussion from the idea that is good and pleasurable to have sex! Your semen retention augmentation was a bit out of topic!
     
  14. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    I really like the idea as well, another member mentioned Karezza, i am probably going to try that at some point as well.
     
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  15. And I personally know many monks which are doing much better than me when it comes to peace and happines.
     
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  16. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

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    And why is the issue between 'life and death'?

    Why not the experience of life itself?
     
  17. Rehab101

    Rehab101 Fapstronaut

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    Strict Asian culture here, at your age i was still focused to education. Go explore what interest you only. So many things to do out there besides relationship and sex. You are still young.
     
  18. Clarke

    Clarke Fapstronaut

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    Monks are a rare, exceptional case, and almost certainly severely repressed homosexuals. Humans need skin on skin contact to develop healthy from infancy until death. I'm sure you could live without it in the same way you could live without vitamin d.
     
  19. Christian Fox

    Christian Fox Fapstronaut

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    This is most definitely not true. Do you really suppose the Catholic Church would have such an opinion against homosexuality, if all the clergy was homosexual? All the clergy that lives and ever has? They were all celibate (in theory).
     
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  20. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

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    I think that's them 'coming to terms' with their life, not necessarily happiness. It's more a feeling of contentment by them.
     

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