Why do guys stare at me but don't approach?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by green lion eating the sun, Oct 19, 2017.

  1. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

    because i have a girfriend
  2. Maybe it's because they're porn addicts and/or are afraid of taking cold showers.
  3. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    The feminazi is strong in this one... o_O
    I know you wouldn't like someone saying your last sentence with the genders reversed, so try to keep it a little more civil.


    Okay back on topic. If you can't take the heat then get out of the kitchen.

    Some guys in a club will grab your butt and say sick stuff in your ear, it's just the territory. Not a perfect environment for us either, we pay more to get in, pay for all the drinks, and occasionally get punched in the face for looking at someone.

    I chose to leave that environment and find relationships (I'm assuming that's what you're looking for?) elsewhere...

    If you find yourself getting nowhere in a club or pub, I'm sure you'll have a better time elsewhere as well.
  4. Nil1991

    Nil1991 Fapstronaut

    I hate when it happens, and the worse thing is see the guy with someone less pretty than you, in the middle of the party. xD
    I think that you should be less shy and try it(I also say it to myself.)
  5. 100% agreed, the other day I thought that if i left it to guys i would still be virgin at the tender age of almost 26
    looking back maybe that would haven't been so bad or wrong
  6. Asking for a cigarrette is not necessarily approaching, wtf you guys.

    Also, even if it was meant as an approach, that kind of flirting IMO (and I'm a guy) is way too forward (asking to be given something in return is very sexually suggestive, ofc it depends on the tone). Also, it is her selection. She didn't like him that's it. She doesn't have to respond positively to something that strikes her as negative.
  7. OP is delusional because she didn't respond positively to being asked "something" in return for a cigarrete?


    Right, and paying drinks expecting to get sex is what "nice" guys do
  8. Gotham Outlaw

    Gotham Outlaw Fapstronaut

    It's possible that some of those guys thought your guy friend was your boyfriend. It's possible some guys lost interest because you were smoking (don't take that personally, but non smokers aren't into smokers). There are a number of reasons why a guy might not have approached you. Whatever their reasons we're focusing on why won't change it. Also on the hand thing can you explain how long he was touching your hand?
    HacKadi and Sc8r51o1n like this.
  9. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    lol I thought I was the only one thinking the same thing if you sneeze and she says bless you that's definitely a sign to approach lmao
    vibemaker and Gotham Outlaw like this.
  10. Gotham Outlaw

    Gotham Outlaw Fapstronaut

    Buying a woman anything, not just a drink, and expecting sex is treating women like legal prostitutes.
  11. Neophyte

    Neophyte Fapstronaut

    Girls are terrifying.
  12. Thank y'all for the replies :)
    as @AscendingBorborite wrote, i didn't ask for a cigarette to pick up guys
    it was really rude that guy saying what i was gonna give him in return
    it was an excuse to start a conversation and talk with more people, nothing else
    yes, i like having guys' attention, it is flattering but that was it

    i just wanna be careful on dating again guys coz i am afraid of falling for fuckboys again
    I have suffered too much and I cannot take that anymore

    now i see that when i will meet a guy i like and he likes me too i will stop by
    and put the effort otherwise i am out

    I tried to ask for a cigarette to girls too but they didn't want to give me that or they didn't have it
    sometimes i like to smoke when i am in a pub or club that's it

    something odd happens lately. for a lot of months and during my reboot when it was still delicate i wanted to be isolated and work on myself. now that i am having a social life again, i went out with some guy friends (i made it very clear that ok with being friends but to not cross the line) and i saw that it is like there is a sort of void around me in the club or pub. before, even if i brought a guy friend with me, people would start talking to me easily. I am trying to get some female friends coz honestly I miss talking with girls. Guys are cool as friends but sometimes i miss talking girl-stuff makeup, clothes etc.

    it is like people in general so included girls don't have desire to come up and talk to me in pubs/clubs. i dunno why. maybe my attitute that I don't feel a lot at ease, a fish out of water and maybe I looked like i was "desperate" to enlarge the group of people i was with (usually now i go out with one guy friend) :emoji_grey_question:

    the other night I was with a guy friend at a pre-Halloween party:emoji_jack_o_lantern: and there was this guy sitting on his own close to us and texting. so i started talking to him and it was a nice conversation. this pre-Halloween party was the same one, same place of 3 years ago. I think the other time i went there by myself and then people started talking to me, mostly guys but also a couple of girls

    is it my attitude? i wanna get more friends especially girls. about guys, when a good guy will come along I will put the effort, I am not chasing that
  13. HacKadi

    HacKadi Fapstronaut

    Uuuuh.... Because you were with another guy at the bar?
  14. Honestly I won't approach girls if she hit on me or wanna talk with me because when I wanna talk to a girls, They always assumed I want their body and nothing more or think I am repulsive.(That's my personal persective, everyone is different).
  15. HacKadi

    HacKadi Fapstronaut

    Read your comments, its always guy friends, guy friends. That kills the mood, go out with girls and let those guys have healthy friendships with men.
    There is no win situation there, you are not interested in your guy friends and by going out with them you scare the grand majority of guys that will approach you. And your guy firends either go out with you in hope to get your attention (wich wont happen), your approbation (many guys due to dysfunctional familys seek constant aprobation from women) or because of the lack of male friends they have. Do yourself and them a favor and stop going out with guy friends.
    Sc8r51o1n and Reborn16 like this.
  16. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    Yes, but the guy friends, if they were clever, would go out with her for the company.... and also be instantly 'social proofed' to meet women more easily.

    Whereas men are generally put off approaching a woman already with a man, this doesn't work the other way round. Women tend to find a guy more attractive if he is with a woman... she is thinking 'well, if that woman finds him attractive then he must not be a hungry weirdo'. This has something to do with the polarity of the sexes.
  17. HacKadi

    HacKadi Fapstronaut

    You got a point, but I rarely saw that working, those guys probably doesnt have the gut to approach anyone.
  18. HacKadi

    HacKadi Fapstronaut

    Also women can tell easily if they are together or they are just friends. Not the same story with men, thats why she scare them away.
  19. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    ^^Quote corrected.
  20. {Ananta}

    {Ananta} Fapstronaut

    My Journal
    when i go to clubs an stuff i bring a buddy someone to make me feel better someone to pat my back an assure me it well be alright,because everytime i approach woman try talk to them ask them if they want to dance they turn me down they turn theyre shoulder to me an continue to talk to theyre friend, what makes it really burn is i dont drink alcohol i just like the scene i love music an dancing, but yeah thats why guys dont approach woman in clubs they cant handle the burn,i dont go to clubs no more cause well i dont drink but id still try approach woman,but this is canadian life im sure its entirely different in the states, my tip is always give me eye contact,smile at them when they look at you then bop your head to the music an move to the beat, cause thats who i would approach

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